* Author Topic: Birth Story Twins arive safe after rocky start  (Read 2775 times)

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Offline Daisy38

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Hello Ladies,

My little ones are 6 months old, however the IF journey has been so hellish for me I still find it hard to believe that I have healthy twins and a four year old. This is after 15 rounds of fertility tx , yes its not a typo!! I started trying in 2001 having my first child 2011 and my twins this year.

I went from using my own eggs, and hubby, to using donor eggs then hubby, to finally using double donation to make our dream possible.  I can hand on heart 100% testify that having  our babies this way has been a total blessing and miracle. They are beautiful and so gorgeous that making the leap of faith has been worth it in every way.

Ok for the birth story.....

After the 1st failed treatment which was number 14, since I conceived my daughter (attempt 13),  I was seriously thinking I should be very grateful for the one I have and not be upset, however I was gutted as the consultant had told me that the embryo's were perfect, and if I had two transferred there was a good chance they would both take.  This tx had failed and when I went for the next transfer (attempt 15),  I was just praying that it would work.

It did! and at the scan there were two heartbeats ::).  I had visions that everything would be alright but I was still anxious and worried the whole time, as my last pg was rocky with a sub chorionic hematoma with bleeding throughout the 1st trimester. Things looked bleak with constant bleeding, and I was relieved that the pg continued.

This pg was different with no bleeding in the 1st trimester, but loads of on/ff bleeds in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters.  I was booked for a c-section at 36 weeks but had a bad bleed at 33 weeks and was taken to hospital by ambulance.  Once admitted, the consultant decided that the babies would be delivered in an hour, however after the movement readings and heartbeats had been established, the babies were doing fine and the bleeding settled. It was decided that I would stay the night and be re-evaluated in the morning.

I was admitted for three days with the intention of them doing a c-section that week, however the bleeding stopped straight away, and I begged to extend the time for the c-section as I was just 33 weeks along, and so upset about the babies being in special care if they were delivered this soon.  I was told they would not have a strong enough sucking reflex, so would have to stay in special care.  I was besides myself with distress and called a friend of mine who was on a pilgrimage to Medgagory to pray for me.

It worked (or something worked! I always believe its  ^pray^) as everything settled down and I was allowed to go home. I was told to do nothing but rest.   Three weeks later at exactly 36 weeks, while I was relaxing in the evening, I had another bleed, not as heavy as 33 weeks, but enough to concern me.  I was admitted and checked over at 1:00 am in the morning, then booked to have my c-section the same day later that morning.

I was excited but tired and really struggling with the pg, to say I was massive was an understatement.  One of the staff who saw me was surprised I was still pg not expecting me to make it to 36 wks.  In any case, the friends who were supposed to look after my little girl when I went into hospital had been out on the night having a drink, so hubby didn't want to leave her with them understandably, and we have no family close by. 

I was in a bit of a state and couldn't sort out calling round last minute for help, and not wanting to upset my little 4 year old by leaving her on the hoof without time to prepare her for who was looking after her.  Hubby thought it best he stay home with her, and return to hospital in the morning after dropping her off at nursery.

I hardly slept and went into a daze/haze as I couldn't quite believe what was going to happen.  I had developed gestational diabetes by the end of the pregnancy, and had major pelvic pain at this point, so just felt like my best option was to nod my head and just roll with what ever the consultants felt best. Being so heavily pg with twins left me feeling vulnerable and way out of my depth.

Hubby arrived later that morning tired, nervous and less excited than I had hoped.  I was anxious and hoping that he would calm me down, but he just looked like he was about to wet himself, so no such luck there!! ;D  We had a minor argument about him arriving later than I expected and having to shower by myself and not being able to shave my legs ::).  I was too exhausted to moan about much else, but he was sympathetic.

I was taken down to a pre-prep room for administering medication and  having a glucose drip set up.  The anesthetist arrived and seemed concerned as he was struggling to find a vein to set up an IV.  I had major problems all through my pg with nurses and Dr.'s trying to set up drips, or take blood as my veins were hard to access.  This seemed to set a tone of concern for the c-section and everyone seemed concerned as it was taking so long to get started. The surgeon kept asking what was taking so long.  It seemed like it took ages for them set up the machine to administer the glucose drip, with loads of fiddling on, checking adjusting and rechecking and staff questioning each other.  I didn't mind as I understood everyone wanted to be sure, however at the same time I was starting to feel stressed the longer it was taking.

I just mentally kept telling myself that it was all going to be OK, and that the babies would be here soon.  I was besides myself with worry that they would be delivered OK, healthy and able to breath on their own, as I was told that special care beds had been cleared for them just in case.

I was wheeled into theater where hubby was gowned and waiting for me.  I was pleased and reassured that he was there, however I felt desperately alone even though the room was filling up with people.  I was introduced to the surgeon and the anesthetist was friendly however I still felt overwhelmed and on edge.  The room was awash with so many people with brief introductions, but no time to really take anything in. I could see the two empty cots to my right hand side and I just kept thinking, I want my babies safe and here with me.

I had the epidural done, which unlike the last one I had with my first child, was more painful. Not agony but more like a strong pinch.  I didn't expect this but just took it in stride.  As I was laid down, the radio was playing however everyone in the room had "super serious looks on their faces..........honestly I thought "should I be worried??". When I had my first child everyone in the room was cheery smiling and happy, however the mood was almost somber.  I remember thinking "why is everyone looking so serious?" ....but hey its a serious surgery so better they all look concerned than anything else I suppose.

Hubby was at my head stroking my face which was so comforting, I wanted to have an emotion but couldn't really feel anything. I felt quite cut off in some ways not sure if this was the drugs or just feeling so overwhelmed.  The surgeon was using a cauterizing type tool to burn through the skin that smelt terrible....like burning hair?? (would make sense).  Shortly after this, say a minute or two I heard a strong cry.

My first sense was a huge relief, I felt so happy and pleased..... she won't need special care I thought, with a set of lungs like that --  must be the girl I thought to myself as I knew I was having a boy and and girl, turns out it was our boy! :), Hubby was smitten right away exclaiming how beautiful he was,  he kept repeating they are so beautiful.  I was still anxious waiting for the second cry and there was what seemed like ages of silence, however it was only 2 minutes between them.  Second little one came out with a stronger cry, by which time the first one had settled down.

I was desperate to see one, but couldn't get the words out.  I was starting to feel a lot of pulling and tugging and was getting scared. I wanted to have more pain relief but when I was asked if I was in pain, I explained that it was more like discomfort.  By this point my fears were super high and I just felt scared about myself as I didn't feel right and all the pulling and tugging was frightening me.  A nurse was very nice and tried to calm me down and the anesthetist just encouraged me to hang on, and that it would all be finished soon.

By this time hubby came round with the little boy, he was so cute but due to the drugs etc, my first internal thought was, oh he's not so cute his eyes arn't very nice and his face is skinny?!?!  I know this was the drugs as once they wore of I was soo totally in love and smitten so have no idea why I thought this initially ^idiot^.  I don't remember much of what happened next only that I was bleeding a lot and I was told that I may need to go back to theater because the bleeding was heavy.

I was waiting to see my daughter and it took a while before I was sitting up and seeing them both in my arms.  I was sooo soo soo happy that I couldn't take in anything anyone was saying because I was just so chuffed that they were healthy and didn't need special care.  They were both just over 6lb and looked so tiny -- skin and bones but very long.  I was congratulated that they had amazing weights but they just looked so small to me, as my 1st one was over 9lb.   

I started breast feeding as soon as I could, with my little boy not taking to it straight away. What's amazing is that he smiled at me, YES he did smile the day he was born, it was amazing and he never stopped, and is still the biggest smiler.  My little girl not so much smiling, her arm was injured during the birth. I found out later that I was bleeding very heavily, and the birth was rushed, when she was delivered.  Her arm was broken, however it healed perfectly in six weeks without intervention.

I was in hospital for about four days, I felt really rotten however I hadn't felt well before they were born, very swollen bloated and weak, but I think this is very normal.  I had very swollen legs but this calmed down after a while.  My four year old came to visit and was amazed at her tiny siblings.  It was a wonderful feeling holding them in my arms after waiting so long.


They are all filled out now and massive six month olds, bright as buttons and full of beans.  It has been a roller coaster of emotions from first finding out that I was carrying twins to their safe arrival, it still doesn't feel real, and I have many moments of being emotionally overwhelmed by their beauty.  After 15 rounds of tx and the pure hell and back journey to have them, I'm so grateful that I can cry tears of joy for the first time.

I have zero regrets about using double donation to create them, and count my double blessings each time a passing well wisher winks at me saying "double trouble" - they just have no idea how completely wrong they are. 


I read hundreds of birth stories when I was feeling down, never thinking that one day I would be writing about the birth of my twins. 

Good Luck to everyone still on the journey. I wish each and everyone of you the very best. xxxx








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    Offline Hbkmorris

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    Birth Story Twins arive safe after rocky start
    « Reply #1 on: 27/12/15, 09:01 »
    Daisy38

    WOW.. Reading your story leaves me in tears of sadness but then mass joy. You have been through so much yet you've come through the other side with your miracle babies.
    Congratulations to you and hubby.  ^rainbow^ ^pinkted^ ^blueted^ ^congrats^

    You've given me hope as I too have been through the mill. Losing my first BFP before Christmas last year totally blew me away but I put my brave face on and fought on moving to double donor in March.. I was shocked to have another BFP but then at 20 weeks my beautiful boy was born too precious for this world and again another Christmas where I'm left in tears. I'm going to try again as now I've had my TAC to help support my cervix but I'm terrified I'm not going to be so lucky.. I feel like I'm being punished for something!

    For now I'm recovering from the TAC which was placed by c section.. Gosh if I'm struggling I'm struggling to understand how you feel and cope with having a baby or babies after such surgery.. Truly I take my hat of to you.

    Just wanted to wish you all the very best and I'm so so pleased to read your wonderful post. God bless you xx

    Cherish13

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    Birth Story Twins arive safe after rocky start
    « Reply #2 on: 27/12/15, 10:40 »
    Such a lovely story Daisy ^daisy^  ^hugme^ Thank you for sharing. Congratulations after all you've been through!  ^sunny^ xx

    Hbkmorris  ^pray^ and  ^reiki^ to you for 2016! I'm in the same position as you having lost a baby at 20 weeks (& 3 mcs since then  :'( ) I hope we get some luck this year, I think we deserve it  ^hugme^ Good luck xx

    Lots of love & luck also to all the people here who've been through losses & still waiting to start a family!  :) xx

    Offline Hbkmorris

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    Birth Story Twins arive safe after rocky start
    « Reply #3 on: 27/12/15, 11:05 »
    God bless you, thank you Merlin  ^hugme^  I'm so sorry to read you too have been in my shoes. Life is so terribly cruel at times.

    We do deserve a better 2016 and I  ^pray^  like never before. I can't carry this heartache for much longer.

    Lots of love and luck to you too X

    Offline Daisy38

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    Birth Story Twins arive safe after rocky start
    « Reply #4 on: 29/12/15, 02:34 »
    Hello Ladies,

    Hbkmorris & Merlin13

    Thanks for your congratulations. Big hugs to you both.

    My heart goes out to you both for your devastating loss, rising from the ashes is exactly the attitude you need to continue trying for your dreams. 

    I know its not the same, but I think all the time about how I almost gave up on fertility tx before moving to double donation and having more attempts.  This is especially true after attempt 12.  I was part of a refund programme where I would  get 70% of my money back after 3 failed treatments including the frozen tx's in between. 

    What hurt so much  was that I couldn't stop having the tx or I wouldn't get my money back even though I was experiencing back to back failed tx with very high quality embryos.  As all the tx's on the refund programme failed I did get my money back in the end but this was after 6 failed tx's.  Naturally I was floored.  I had a myomectomy after this and had no intention of trying again having moved onto adoption, however I had a niggle that I should try one last time. 

    This one last time tx failed too, and I had given up.  Then I got a call from a clinic where I had put my name downon the waiting list, about five months before.  They said "We have your embryo's ready".  I think it was this wording "your embryos" that gave me the thought to try one last last time........and low an behold it worked.....attempt 13.  There was hope even when I thought their was none!

    Thinking of you both an praying for you both that your dream comes true xxxx

    Daisy38
     ^daisy^




    Cherish13

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    « Reply #5 on: 31/12/15, 21:28 »
    Thank you HBKMorris!  ^hugme^ xx

    Daisy I definitely take my hat off to you! It really helps reading stories like yours when you've been through the mill a bit with it all!  :o Can I ask how old you were when your little ones finally arrived? They're lucky to have such a devoted & determined mother  xx ^hugme^