Joan if you're willing to risk ai via fresh sperm with None of the safeguards provided by a bank there are ways to do this via coparenting websites, ds websites and groups on social media.
These are not illegal unless they charge for the sperm, travel expenses are permissible.
I personally wouldn't wish the risk of:
Genetic illness
Std risk
The man having a claim as parent as they're deemed parent unless within clinic and there have been cases where the man has won access rights and even residency!
But if the risks are worth the potential increase in success rates that's for you to reconcile.
Btw, I know other women successful with mot 5 so I'm not a fluke! I think it has more to do with multiple inseminations than mot factor myself. And I have endo, pcos, thyroid issues, ra etc so was hardly in the fighting fit camp and if it happened for me ...
Of course I'm very happy that some people have had success from using cryos. But I'm also aware there are many more who have spent a fortune & had no success. Yet they later have success with fresh sperm.
I've been aware of sites like FSDW & co-parents for a long time. But there are many negative reports of the donors taking advantage of women, by making them feel forced to have sex to obtain sperm. Or donors tracking down vulnerable women, in some cases, those who have been taking fertility medication. And trying to extort large sums of money from them at the last minute. Which they then pay or have to forfeit the cost of meds/scans/mental turmoil, because they have no time to find another donor.
There was even a report in the US of a woman whose donor arrived with sperm, but he pretended to provide it fresh in her bathroom. She only found out about the deception after giving birth to a black baby. The white donor had tricked her by providing sperm from his gay partner & passing it off as his own. Although this an unusual event & is probably more likely with unmonitored at home donation. There's actually nothing to stop a donor doing the same at a sperm bank & if a child resulted, it just being assumed the bank had mixed samples up.
Although in an ideal world there would be no risk of STIs. In reality people who have sex face this risk every time, no matter how they try to protect themselves. Especially due to UK culture. There is no way to prevent risk if having sex. So if wanting fresh sperm this is a risk to take. The general population don't turn to frozen sperm whenever they want a child.
There is no way to guarantee donors of being free from genetic problems. If banks are guaranteeing this, they are doing so illegally. They don't check every donors family tree for health problems. They rely on self reporting. The same as the now closed down 'man not included, fertilty1st' internet fresh home sperm providers did. And up until recently cryos didn't even reveal if babies resulting from their donors had been born with problems that could be genetic. And this itself also relies on the recipient reporting this or the recipient insisting their clinic does. And believe it or not there are actually recipients who don't wish to screen their donor for genetic illness. The some as some mothers adamantly choose NOT to screen their unborn child for genetic illness, because they know they will accept their child no matter what.
Internet providers who provided fresh sperm, took away the possibility of donors blackmailing recipents. They forced anonymity for both parties who never met each other. So no chance of custody battles or child benefit. They forced donors to be tested for MOT & frequently tested for STIs. Although there are limits to the STI results of fresh sperm, the tests were considered adequate to most recipients. But there is currently no way to have this set up. Current sites literally are introduction sites & do nothing else. It's not possible to arrange the safety for both parties that was present.
