* Author Topic: Anyone using donor sperm part 77  (Read 102008 times)

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Offline Josina

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Anyone using donor sperm part 77
« Reply #140 on: 24/05/16, 19:24 »
BFN  :(
I hate that we're on this rollercoaster again,  IF really sucks. Stupid af reared her ugly head last night. The only good thing is we're doing back to back treatments so tomorrow is already day 3 and I start the Meds again and next Wednesday is my day 10 scan. I was really hoping to be first time lucky to avoid more disappointing heartbreak but it wasn't to be. It's also just so expensive!

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    Offline Godiva

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    « Reply #141 on: 24/05/16, 19:48 »
    KJade, Beattie and  MrsE, you will get there in the end, but it is such a struggle with the system for you... Big hugs

    Josina: so sorry to hear about AF :-(. Fingers crossed for next cycle! PS, do they think it worth rechecking your endo at a certain point?

    Offline K jade

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    « Reply #142 on: 25/05/16, 11:29 »
    Josina so sorry hun  ^hugme^

    Offline CanadianAmanda

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    « Reply #143 on: 25/05/16, 16:53 »
    Hi girls!

    BabyB - I am so happy to hear things are going more smoothly now! I hope you can make the trip to visit his family!! Your romantic wedding day is coming soon, yay for that!!

    Beattie - any luck with getting more tests

    Josina - I am so so sorry for your BFN. It doesn't matter if it is the 1st or 4th try, BFN is so discouraging!!

    KJade and MrsE - sorry you girls are at a stand still right now. I am frustrated for both of you!!

    Hi Sapphire and Godiva!!

    AFM - I am on day 8 of stims. I have one lead follicle so they have been monitoring me every day since Sunday to make sure it stays put. I was not prepared to stay more than one night (the clinic is 3 hrs from or house), so I am heading back today to work for the day and pick up enough stuff to stay for the rest of the week. I feel badly cancelling my patients for tomorrow and Friday, but this has to be a priority and it is easier if I just stay near the clinic.
    My ER is planned for either Saturday or Sunday depending what tomorrow shows. I am excited and nervous for it, and very nervous about OHSS. Will update soon xo


    Offline MrsE1982

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    « Reply #144 on: 26/05/16, 09:04 »
    Josina, sorry about your BFN

    Amanda- fingers crossed for this weekend. I agree you should take time off work a 3 hour trip to the clinic can't be good for you! How many eggs are they expecting to retrieve? Since we decided to go for IVF I have had this slight obsession with egg numbers and how that correlates to success rates. I don't think its a good obsession, but hopefully I'll have seen a bit more sense by the time I cycle!

    Kjade - I have put all of that in a letter and forwarded it onto the panel. I think it is highly unlikely they don't hear my case on 9th June. Especially now my MP has got involved and is asking questions of the Chief Exec of the CCG. They know they would be in a world of pain if they didn't discuss my case. Surely its just easier to have the discussion and tell me the result, which we all know will be 'approved' as 1 IVF/ICSI is the policy in my area - and then they get rid of me! Simple!

    Hannah - they try to match CMV negative people together. Its a virus that can be caught any which way and does have a bit of evidence apparently for passing onto babies through sperm. However a massive % of the population are CMV positive - and normal couples don't get checked for this before they decide to have a baby do they?! I am CMV positive and had to sign a disclaimer. I never found out if our donor is positive, as it wouldn't make any difference to what we are doing, do didn't seem worth it.
    So glad things are moving for you!

    Beattie - I think its a bit odd that you haven't actually seen a doctor after 3 IUIs. Maybe not in-between 1/2 but our clinic would do a review after 3 BFNs anyway. And you can request a review after every negative cycle if you want (but they might not be able to fit you in for a few weeks!) I don't think you are being demanding. Perhaps bite the bullet and ask for an appointment with doc, even if a few weeks away and get all of your questions ready. Its impossible to remember everything over the phone, esp if you are talking to a  nurse or a secretary!

    Offline K jade

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    « Reply #145 on: 26/05/16, 10:09 »
    beattie defiantly get on the phone and ask for a review asap. you need a good sit down with a Dr to discuss what adjustments need to be made next time and how many more IUIs is realistic before moving onto IVF. They need to be clear with you about what the plan is.

    Hannah glad things are moving forward for you.  :). yeh the CMV thing is a bit of a pain tbh. i'm neg and could only choose neg donors. however my friend had a baby with her husband and she is neg and her hubby positive and the baby has had problems and has some form of anaemia, and may at some point in her life need a blood transfusion. but she was unlucky. as its not heard of to check your CMV before trying naturally for a baby.

    Amanda good luck hun  :)

    MrsE i'm glad that it looks like things will be sorted at the next panel. you could have done without all this stress thou  >:(




    Offline Godiva

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    « Reply #146 on: 26/05/16, 19:55 »
    Canadian: Fingers crossed for this weekend (and the following 2-3 weeks ;-) )

    Beattie: after 3 IUI's it does seem worth having a review and seeing if additional tests are necessary. 6 IUI's is often what is suggested before going over to IVF, but it is a bit silly to waste a whole lot of attempts and discovering something basic is interfering (eg blocked tubes, polyp,...). Suggestion of writing up all your questions is a really good one! Try giving them a call about seeing a doctor for an evaluation.

    Hannah: good to have things starting to move! As mentioned: CMV is a virus, usually contracted via saliva or urine (most frequently from kids). Somebody who has never had this virus is "CMV-negative", meaning they do not have any antibodies. The antibodies give protection during subsequent exposures. CMV can give problems in the foetus if contracted during pregnancy. The sort of problem varies on the time during the pregnancy at which it is caught. Very early on the transmission rate of mother to foetus is quite small, but the consequences can be severe: malformations or even miscarriage. At later stages of pregnancy the chances of the foetus "catching" the virus is bigger. Consequences include deafness, blindness or learning disabilities. (I know somebody who contracted CMV from her first child during her second pregnancy (2nd-3rd trimester): her child was born deaf, but leads a pretty normal life now due to cochlear implants.)
    As mentioned, some clinics will only want to use "CMV negative" donors if you are negative. Personally I am not convinced whether it makes a big difference. The donor will not have an active CMV infection at the time of donation, and it just means he has been exposed to the virus during his life and therefore has antibodies. And yes, a "normal" couple will not test for it (although you could assume that they will have had sex before trying to conceive, so if there was an active virus present the woman would have converted before her pregnancy).
    I am not sure in KJade's example that CMV would be the cause of the baby's problems: if the mother was still negative at the end of the pregnancy, she was not exposed to the virus - the foetus can not catch it if the mother does not... (Transmission from mother to foetus does not even occur in every documented case of CMV conversion during the pregnancy)
    About not doing "the deed": as we had no risk of "accidental" conception, DH and I did not take any special precautions. Would have been a bit embarrassed to turn up for an IUI with some evidence still inside me though, so whenever I see a gynae I try to avoid it a day or 2 before to be on the safe side ;-) . (and yes, of course I shower on a daily basis, but afraid I might not get everything out...). In IVF after egg collection in IVF it is best to respect the "rest period" described to avoid infection (and tbh you probably would not  not feel like it much as things might be a bit bruised and tender on the inside); after embryo transfer it is also advised to avoid intercourse until OTD, although there is no evidence that it makes any difference on the outcome. When being stimulated for IVF you probably would feel uncomfortable during intercourse due to ovary size. In IUI however I do not see a reason for couples in our position to abstain. In fact in the past people were actually advised to "do the deed" the evening after transfer (not sure about advice before), so it felt more like "his baby".

    Offline CanadianAmanda

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    « Reply #147 on: 27/05/16, 15:38 »
    Good morning girls (or evening where you are?)

    Hannah - I am CMV negative, and we are using a CMV positive donor. My doctor said that there was a small risk in the past with using CMV positive sperm, but  apparently their washing methods have improved that the risk is slim to none. That being said, had there been a Good Vietnamese CMV negative donor available for me in Canada (the Canadian guidelines are a tad ridiculous), I would have chosen the CMV negative donor.
    As for sex, we were allowed to have sex all the way up to today (day before retrieval). We had sex up to last Monday and then it started to be uncomfortable and I started to feel very unsexy (with being distended and all my bruising from the injection and acupuncture sites).

    MrsE 1 I will let you know after ER exactly how many I have. As of yesterday I had 10+3 on the right (largest being 2.6, and then the rest were 1.6-2.2), and 8+4 on the left (largest was 1.8, rest were 1.4-1.75). They started me on dostinex tablets to help decrease my free estrogen (and decrease the risk of OHSS). I am happy there are so many follicles, but it seems to me that the doctors would prefer I have between 12-15 eggs because the risk of OHSS is much lower. Oh well.

    Thanks girls for the support, I am happy things are moving along for us :) I will be upset if I cannot have ET due to OHSS, but I am trying to accept that we can only do so much, and the rest is out of our hands.

    I find this funding dilemma Beattie and MrsE are having is bizarre. It seems to me that if you two girls are having problems with #IUi before IVF, then there must also be many other women with an array of other fertility issues that are having the same funding problem. It is crazy to think this committee would be willing to waste government money on something that doesn't seem to be working just to fulfill the #IUI requirement. Best of luck with all is that stuff, k really feel for you girls.

    Godiva and other girls that have done IVF - have you experienced significant bruising toward the end of stims? I am on baby aspirin so I know that will cause more bleeding and bruising, but I have a 3-5cm bruise around each injection site, including my acupuncture sites. Is this normal?

    Offline Godiva

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    « Reply #148 on: 27/05/16, 19:49 »
    I did not have any significant bruising from injecting, but as you say, the aspirin does aggrevate it. Blood draws I have had after ET (when I started aspirin) have caused much more bruising then before, even though I try to pay attention to good compression of the puncture place afterwards.

    Offline louise48910

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    « Reply #149 on: 28/05/16, 12:05 »
    Hi everyone, not checked in for a while as been very hectic with work and some social commitments. Lots to catch up on.

    Godiva - definitely need to be happy in what we do. Think he's feeling better in himself now he knows he'll be moving on. Nearest clinic does sound the better option so we've gone for that. Thanks :) Made me smile thinking of your DH singing lullabies, that's lovely x

    Mrs E - glad you had a relaxing break. Bloody hell your MIL. Sorry to hear of another hurdle :( Hope they can communicate their decision to you so not to cause another delay. I can't imagine they'll not hear your case after everything that's happened and the involvement of MP.

    KJade  ;D your predictive text, that's hilarious.. made me thinks about some weird criteria where you choose your donor from a line up based on his ability to retrieve sticks, beg and his enthusiasm for splashing about in the water. Like the donor olympics. Aw, we're the same age. I must be a month older than you x It's weird I feel so young but not so young in TTC terms.

    Sapphire - definitely have some chats and you'll do what feels right for the three of you xx

    Beattie - so sorry to hear it wasn't successful  ^hugme^

    Josina - Hi, nice to meet you. Sorry about your AF x

    Baby b - glad your scan went well  :)

    Amanda - fingers crossed for you  ^hugme^

    Hannah - pleased things are moving forward. Great news on your health!

    AFM, we've chosen to go to the nearest clinic. Not sure if I said before but a few weeks ago we had a good chat with my partner's dad. His sister is visiting this weekend and she was so supportive of our probably decision to go with donor. I'm so happy. I mean, I can't imagine them not being supportive but their words mean so much. We've also received a pack of info and consent forms. I've not read it through yet as going to do it thoroughly with partner.  There's a price list included, which I wasn't really expecting as we've not actually done any cycles so far - neither own sperm or donor. I thought our CCG allowed a number of IUI before one IVF. Will have to have a read of that.

    Really annoyed - We had an NHS appt with Mr R, then my partner had mega side effects from tamoxifen so he arranged to see us. We didn't realise but it was at his private clinic but he said he would offer the appt on the NHS and even went next door to tell his admin person. We've since received a 200 bill which we disputed, although both secretary and mr R himself have said nope, we need to pay. I can't find my cheque book despite frantically going through everything. I really don't want to have to talk to them over the phone as I'm embarrassed that we haven't paid it and frustrated that Mr R definitely said it was on the NHS and now he's changed his mind. I don't get it. I think I'll get my partner to ring up on Tuesday and pay over the phone. Also annoyed because when we had his FNA results appointment another Doctor saw us and said they wanted to check the results (although it did show no sperm, it was a less experienced doctor and he wanted to be sure of the result) and would email us. He's never confirmed it with us, by email or in writing. I find it all very unsatisfactory. I know the result and I've not got any hope but I'd quite like it in writing. Oh God, that was a long one. So sorry for moaning and ranting but it's played on my mine and needed to get it out

    Hope everyone is having as relaxing a weekend a possible xx