Starting Out > Secondary Infertility

Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child

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As post says, has anyone accepted the fact that they have one child and not by choice this child will be an only.

I have a four year old and have been trying for number two for three years. I feel so drained and emotionally tired of this pursuit for a sibling. Ivf has really taken it out of me and so have the miscarriages.

Has anyone gone through the same? Have you decided to end the pursuit on number two and make good what you have got.

One minute  I think not trying anymore will be good for my daughter, I can have more time, energy and money for her, the next minute I worry that she will not have a sibling. She has no cousins and I have close friends  with kids in same age range.

Thoughts please ??

Also I'm nearly 40

Hi Jessica.
We have 3 yo( first go at ICSI) and totally undecided about 2nd. We havent tried yet and really dont know if we will in future. Because i am in two minds. In my heart i can just go for it tomorrow, when in my head i am about, why using our savings on something that might not even happen and just have great life with our girl. So hard. Especially, she is asking lately, why all her friends have baby-siblings,  but not her.

My husband is 50 now too and not as keen, because need Tesa.

You r not alone xxx

Hi elka

It's soon hard, when I had my last bfp which ended in mc, I felt scared not overjoyed. I felt panicked at sleepless nights, toddler group chats, and whether I could give the same time and all that effort I gave to my first to the baby. I took my daughter everywhere, music groups, bany signing,I just felt like I didn't have the energy.

I'm not sure if it was my body psychologically preparing me for a mc but I was upset when I found out I lost it. What scares me is that I will have those feelings of panic again if I get a bfp.

Is this telling me that I don't really want another one??? Because every time I see a newborn or toddler I just want another child


I'm am in a very similar situation!

I have a 13yo and have been having iui and IVF with donor sperm for the last year with one cp and one early miscarriage.

I'm now at a crossroads of having one last try, using donor eggs or giving up and just sticking to one child.

My heart says my child deserves a sibling in this world but half of my body says I'm getting too old and I've missed the fertility boat...

I can't bring myself to make the decision!

Hi Jessica , Elka and Bluestone, also in a similar situation. My son is 6yrs and we've been trying for over 3 yrs for a second. Ive had 2 miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy in the last year and I just don't know if I should give up and enjoy the life I have. I am exhausted and we've spent 11k on IVF already. I wish I could make the decision but I just don't know if I am ready to say no more! Should we try one more round? Has anyone thought about adoption? It kills me to think of my son as an only child! Good to know we're not alone xx


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