* Author Topic: Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child  (Read 11523 times)

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Offline jessica60

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Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child
« Reply #10 on: 28/05/16, 22:51 »
To help me deal with this mc and the possibility of never having number two I'm researching google like mad to find positives of having an only child. What I have found is very mixed.

Today I met up with a nursery mom from my daughters nursery. She has a son my daughters age and a two year old. She only bought the older kid along as it was too much for her to take them both to the park, it is just too hard with two she said and she constantly went on about them fighting. She didn't know about the mc or my struggle in getting a second child. Maybe it was a sign.

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    Offline HopingAndPraying

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    Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child
    « Reply #11 on: 29/05/16, 20:06 »
    Hi Jessica

    That's a good idea to note down the positives X although I don't think unfortunately I will ever fully accept it as I always wanted more than one child! When my husband was diagnosed with sperm issues I prayed and prayed for one child and said I would be happy with one and I am more than happy , however now that I have experienced the joy my DD brings I feel devastated to stop at one! And I know having 2 kids would be hard but the happiness they would bring outweighs the tough times when they are young!

    I'm not sure how I will make peace with the situation but regardless I am so grateful for my little miracle

    I wish you all the very best

    Becka Louise thank you for sharing your story X you have such a lovely positive approach and its good to hear your view!

    Take care X

    Offline lemongrass

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    Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child
    « Reply #12 on: 1/06/16, 13:14 »
    Hi all,

    I am pregnant but still read these boards as I was in the same position, having the same thoughts, not very long ago.  Jessica, someone called Abbeyhouse wrote a fantastic post on this issue on a thread about struggling to accept that there might not be a sibling - here is the link: https://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=341707.msg6226183#msg6226183
    She makes some very good points.

    I think I had started down the road of accepting that my DS might not have a sibling when we got pregnant, though I had some way to go.  I just wanted to mention that I am an only child myself, and had a great childhood.  My parents always made sure I had friends over all the time (and I would go to their places too), and I never really felt like I'd missed out.  I do remember asking my poor mother why I didn't have a brother or sister for a while (I think I must have been about 5), but it was more because I wanted to know why I was 'different', not because I desperately wanted one.  When she gave an explanation (she said something along the lines of that it was better for me this way!), I accepted it and moved on.  Once you're at school, the peer group takes on much more significance and I think the lack of a sibling to play with etc matters less - you get totally preoccupied with friends, work and extra-curricular stuff. 

    So, in case people are worried that being an only child involves being condemned to a life of solitude, it really doesn't!  All the best to you all with your decision-making  ^reiki^ xx

    Offline DBW8

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    Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child
    « Reply #13 on: 1/06/16, 22:30 »
    Hello,

    I am new to these boards but this has struck a cord with me because I am very much trying to come to terms with only having one child. I thought I'd share a book I ordered which is called 'One and Only' https://www.amazon.co.uk/One-Only-Freedom-Having-Child/dp/1451626967 and is about the benefits of having one child. I must be honest and say that I put it down after reading only a few pages as I didn't feel ready just yet but I am hoping to pick it up again soon and try to engage with the positives!

    /links

    Offline Sienna77

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    Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child
    « Reply #14 on: 11/07/16, 08:08 »
    Hi, I'm the same too. My 3 year old was the result of 4 stim cycles. I swore after years & years of trying that I wouldn't do it again. Yet here I am on the 2ww on the 6th stim (plus 3 FET) since then.
    I did give up, but just didn't feel ready to. I'm nearly 40 so also feel I'm running out of time.
    I'm not sure I'll ever accept it, I feel so much guilt for my daughter, didn't want her to be an only child. Breaks my heart when I see her playing on her own & she tells me she's lonely. It doesn't help that we don't have any friends with one child, they've all gone on to have more.
    Sorry I can't help, I wish I had the answer myself. I've been for counselling & dudnt find it helped.

    Offline miamiamo

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    Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child
    « Reply #15 on: 21/07/16, 12:13 »
    Hi, my sister has decided to have only one child as she does want to concentrate on her business. I hope she'll change her mind soon.

    Offline Flips

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    « Reply #16 on: 21/07/16, 12:39 »
    We'll only be having one. Two fresh ivfs and three FETs and two miscarriages have taken it out of me. Hopefully my current pregnant will result in the child we want. There's nothing wrong with being an only child, and it's becoming more common.

    Offline Daisy1972

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    Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child
    « Reply #17 on: 2/08/16, 21:13 »
    I'm in the same boat except that I am older than you, had my first when I was 40 after 2 MC. There is not one day that passes during which I don't think about how much I would love to give my son a sibling. Not so much for playing when they are little but as an important person when they are older. I would be lost without my sisters. Have you thought about using a donor egg ? I am currently thinking about it but haven't decided one way or the other...

    Offline Gemini40

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    Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child
    « Reply #18 on: 8/08/16, 14:59 »
    Hi All,

    I have just finished a failed cycle using donor eggs, which was supposed to be the magic answer to my problems with conception. I have one child naturally and not a sniff of a positive pregnancy test in the 4 years proceeding her birth dispite the numerous IUI, ICSI OE and now ICSI DE. The difficulty I have with giving up is that there are still options available to me i.e. a better clinic, younger donor etc. But where does it all end?? How much money do you throw at this? As disappointed as I feel today that the DE ICSI has failed the one thing I have realised is that I crave my own genetic child , maybe even more than I realised. I think I need someone to stop me continuing with this journey. Sorry for rant.

    Offline mo89

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    Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child
    « Reply #19 on: 8/08/16, 17:16 »
    Hi ladies. Just to say I am an only child amd never caused me any bother. I loved it. I am so close with my mum and think if I had siblings I maybe wouldnt be so close. Lile you say with one, more time and energy can go into him/her. Although I would have liked 3 but struggle with even one just now. Good luck on making decision s. I know its so hard and draining. Have you thought of de or adoption? Xx