* Author Topic: Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child  (Read 12506 times)

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Offline Sienna77

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Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child
« Reply #20 on: 8/08/16, 22:20 »
Gemini- I'm so sorry to hear that. It's a huge decision to go with DE & I think there's the assumption it would work. So do they think your issue is more implantation than egg quality? My Dr has suggested DE numerous times to me but like you said, we just don't feel ready to give up the dream of having a biological child. It's also so expensive & I do worry if it would work.
Have you got more DE frozen?

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    Offline Gemini40

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    Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child
    « Reply #21 on: 9/08/16, 12:41 »
    Hi Sienna, I am at a bit of a loss really with it all. I only had 2 6 cell embryos on day 3 and nothing to freeze so it was really poor I don't know if it is bad luck with the donor or me. But I have one child naturally concieved 2012- so confused...

    Offline Sienna77

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    « Reply #22 on: 9/08/16, 23:39 »
    I think secondary fertility is so hard to accept because of that. As much as my first took a lot of cycles, I still got pregnant, so I can't work out why my body can't do it again!!
    At least you know you've tried everything, including the DE, as I think that's what we need to know, that there was nothing else we could have done.
    Although I don't know if I'll ever give up trying.

    Offline AppleTwig

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    Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child
    « Reply #23 on: 21/09/16, 13:03 »
    I've just come across this thread while on 2ww for no. 2. This is our first try since having our daughter and I feel like it hasn't worked, hence reading this. It's really helpful to read positive stories from only children and from parents who've stopped or come to terms with having one child and all the benefits that brings. It's so hard as I feel like a sibling is so important, as I had two sisters and am so close to them, but at the same time I can see how being a little family unit has advantages for her too. I want to make sure that whatever happens i've made some sort of decision about it rather than end up feeling unhappy. I've mentally decided to do 1-2 more fresh ICSI cycles but no more than that as more than a year is not worth it. Partly because it takes it out of me too much and I should be focussing on our daughter, but also because in less than a year I'll be 39 and we already have major sperm issues so it just doesn't seem that likely.
    Thanks all for sharing your stories so far.

    Offline askingtheangels

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    Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child
    « Reply #24 on: 11/11/16, 19:22 »
    Does anyone still want to have a chat on this subject? My 5th DE cycle has just failed and I certainly need help in coming to terms with the possibility of my gorgeous little boy being an only child x

    Offline Molly78

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    « Reply #25 on: 11/11/16, 20:32 »
    Hi Shoegal

    We've just had a failed icsi treatment..... I currently feel like the dream of a sibling is slipping away but I don't think I m ready to give up just yet. I have to say I m starting to lose faith and also a lot of money 😕 x

    Offline askingtheangels

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    « Reply #26 on: 12/11/16, 09:25 »
    Hi Molly, good to hear from you! I can't even begin to add up the money we've spent on 3 OE IVFs and 5 DE IVF's over the years - it would make me sick. :(

    I can't give up on a second child yet either. We have 3 frosties left at our clinic which I will go back for in the new year but it's hard to keep faith when I've already transferred 11 'perfect' looking DE blasts (they weren't pgs tested though to be fair). Having said to ourselves that this fresh donor is our absolute last go given my age and our finances I'm already, in my head, wondering if we go to another clinic and start again.....such is the madness of this secondary infertility journey and my deep desire for another child.

    Each failed cycle feels like a mini bereavement - only those that go through it will understand. Everywhere I look there are pregnant ladies just to add an extra kick in the gut and I dread the thought of someone close to me announcing a pregnancy.

    Over the last 6 years I've been very good at picking myself up and getting a plan together for trying again - and of course, I'm thankful every day for the precious gift of my little boy. We've managed to shield him from this TTC journey and we live by the principles of ensuring he has a full and rounded life (we're lucky to live near cousins) and that he doesn't miss out on as many life experiences as we can give him. But that desire for a second child refuses to go away.

    It's almost like I live a two-faceted life - one where we live as a team of 3 to the utmost, experiencing as much as we can (much like in Abbeyhouse's lovely post - link in a previous post in this thread), and the other life, a kind of background shadow life where I day dream about us having another child and chase that dream as far as possible.

    Well, it's been nice to offload a little! And to know I'm not alone. xxx

    Offline Molly78

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    « Reply #27 on: 12/11/16, 17:11 »
    I do know what you mean about the bereavement and I ve only had 2 fail so can't begin to imagine how hard it is time after time...
    It's very hard trying to come to terms with things. I've been so focused on having another child at times I feel it is at the expense of my boys which makes me feel guilty. The disappointment of this week has made me reevaluate things particularly in relation to work, there is more to life but then I need to extra money for treatment - dilemmas!! It would just be so nice if there were some guarentees!

    We moved clinic after our failed fet due to improved success rates, however, i ve never been too sure about the place and now it hasn't worked I m even more negative kind of wish we'd stayed where we were! In my mind it feels like it's not going to work at this new clinic which I know is just ridiculous. Your journey sounds so difficult and expensive, it's such a heartbreaking process.  I presume you have tried the endro scratch my accupuncturist raves about this and I think I m going to suggest next time....

    Take care xx

    Offline Mooface

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    « Reply #28 on: 12/11/16, 21:11 »
    Hi. I'm new here but this thread feels appropriate.
    We have a 4 year old dd who is awesome. Needed some treatment to get her but not IVF. Then had a MC last summer and first cycle of IVF in may (unexpected disaster with none fertilised). So now I am post ec for our second cycle with icsi and assisted hatching and hoping we will have something to transfer on Monday at d5. I don't know what we will do if things don't work out this time (both financially and emotionally I don't know if we can keep doing this).

    Offline Sienna77

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    « Reply #29 on: 13/11/16, 03:07 »
    I so feel for all of you & it's so hard hearing the struggles everyone has.
    We are the same. My DD took many years & IVF cycles & we've tried the same for a 2nd child. A month ago we failed the 7th stim cycle & we didn't get 1 egg fertilised. So the Dr has said we have to give up. I'm beyond devastated. I feel the decision to stop has been taken from me.  Even though financially we would probably have to stop anyway, I'm struggling to come to terms that I've had that choice taken away from me. The Dr said she thought I was infertile already.
    I've been on anxiety drugs & my GP referred me to a psychologist. But it's not really helping. I've stopped being sociable & as much as I'm desperately trying to not let this impact my beautiful DD, I'm just so down about it.
    I am desperate to have another baby & don't want my DD being an only child.
    But I have no choice but to accept it. I am not sure I ever will.