* Author Topic: Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child  (Read 12509 times)

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Offline Opossum

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Has anyone accepted that they will only have one child
« Reply #70 on: 17/02/20, 11:02 »
I found secondary infertility WAY harder than primary, its something most people not in it dont/cant understand.

I was primary for 3 years and secondary for 9 (with a MMC at the 6 year point, I introverted at that point and withdrew from the world).

I could see how people put self preservation first with primary (I had low points, mainly on the first day of each AF and few days after but I would drink my way through those sad days and I could just distract the rest of the month by going out with my child free friends, going to gigs, having dinner parties etc...)

but secondary didn't have that luxury at all and I cant do any of those things that helped me cope with primary any more, I had to take my DS to school and see all the siblings/pregnant moms, go to all the baby/child based places/events, be constantly asked about siblings by strangers and even your own child etc... its not something you can hide from or forget, you drown in a world your half trapped in

you cant go on luxury adult only holidays if it gets to hard, you cant get drunk when your feeling down (because you have a small child to watch), you cant just latch onto the child free society who wont quiz you constantly etc... + the world isn't set up for 1 child families, so many times I have told my DS we cant do something because he needs a 'sibling' to partner with or there was no single child ticket options, the world is pretty cruel.

now that I have come out the other end a weight has lifted, we will still try for more as I would love a big family (which would come with its own issues if we are that lucky) but with 2 all those stresses the world put on you magically stop.


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