* Author Topic: Parenting of an unruly toddler  (Read 2241 times)

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Offline Artypants

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Parenting of an unruly toddler
« on: 4/12/16, 20:25 »
I think its time to create a new diary about being a Mummy to a very *spirited* toddler!

I chose today to start this diary as today was a spectacularly bad day in the life of being a Mum to a 20 month old. A bit of history, my DH is in his final year of a degree, this is in addition to both of us working full time so our evenings are dominated by study and also at the weekends I am constantly having to get out of the way with LO to give him time to study. This has been extremely hard with a newborn and even more so with a lively toddler who needs constant entertainment and is very very clingy to me (probably because shes in nursery full time.)

I was up and out by 8:30am yesterday morning, I took LO out to the local shopping centre and she was actually pretty well behaved apart from a little tantrum when we left soft play. Fast forward to this morning. DH encourages me to go out again for coffee at 10am to give him time to finish off a paper. I didn't really want to as I'm quite honestly fed up of being told to get out of the way on my weekends off too so he can do what he needs to do but I packed everything up thinking I'll get a coffee and croissant and it will be fine to pass the time for an hour.
I go to Ner0 and get coffee and croissant and manoeuvre the pushchair to a table in the middle of the cafe and put LO in the highchair and then go to the counter to get my order.
When I got to our table I went to put the tray down just as LO decides to grab the tray as she spotted the croissant and wanted it! The tray started violently wobbling in my hand and I just about managed to rescue the situation and get the tray down before coffee and cake fly across the table. LO then grabs for the plate with the croissant on and I managed to swoop in and catch it but she then goes absolutely ballistic in true toddler style and then starts throwing a massive wobbler in the high chair. I try and calm her down by offering a piece of the croissant which seems to enrage her even further and she then starts shouting NO NO NO and then starts hitting me in the face and scratching me because shes so upset. I was absolutely mortified at this point as I could see every single pair of eyes on me silently judging me so I had to really keep my shiz together without getting upset (easier said than done mid tantrum in a public place)

I decided that this was a good time to leave, sod the coffee and cake, I need to get out of here, I pick LO out of the high chair and she is going rigid at this point which makes leaving impossible (she's still screaming as well) I try and put her in her pushchair and shes as stiff as a board so I cant get her coat on and I look up and see another Mum with her little (well behaved) baby looking at me with sympathy, I just stand there in bewilderment and just let LO get on with her tantrum at this point as there is no point trying to reason with her. Another older lady then comes over to me as says its OK, it happens to the best of us try not to get upset, which at that point I DO get upset as someone is actually being nice to me.
I decide to then sit down and eat my stupid croissant even though its ripped into pieces and strewn across the table, and yes I will finish my coffee too. LO then sees I'm eating the croissant and then allows me to let her have some and peace is restored for now. I drink my coffee with tears in my eyes and the lovely lady comes and sits next to me and tells me about her grandchildren and how they misbehave all the time too. Such a nice thing to do.

Anyway I get her in her pushchair and we go home where I then proceed to absolutely lose my head at DH. He's just stepped out of the shower all fresh as a daisy and no signs of any study being done, I just sit there sobbing and crying about how much I hate being a study widow and that I have no life, its all very dramatic! DH takes LO out for the day to give me some space, which is very much needed.

I find the whole work life balance very hard, I am glad I am still working but the pressure of working in a very large FTSE50 company is huge, there is a constant threat of redundancy, I have already narrowly avoided redundancy once this year already, I've been bullied and discriminated against by my (female) boss, its been truly hideous. I really hope things are a bit brighter next year as we have had a lot to content with in 2016.

I promise I will try and post more of the positive scenarios too, but today wasn't a normal day so things can only get better right?

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    Offline Artypants

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    Parenting of an unruly toddler
    « Reply #1 on: 13/12/16, 21:07 »
    Lola's nursery is great, she has flourished there, I was lucky when I went back to work that she settled brilliantly and I was never tortured by her screaming at my legs when I dropped her off in the morning, I was even a little smug about it!Their communication is a bit rubbish but that is really the only negative. This morning was a great example of their poor communication. They said, "oh see you later for the Xmas bake" Cue minor panic, their admin sent out an email a month ago advising that parents could attend 2-4pm on the 13th to join their little angels for Xmas baking and general festive activities and then it was never mentioned again. I went into London and managed to wangle a half day so I could join in what I imagined to be a lovely Mummy daughter bonding experience and I would get to experience Lola's other life away from us and we would make fabulous cakes and make xmas cards together and we would have so much fun.......

    well, I arrived at 2pm and immediately Lola thought it was time to go home, she pointed to her coat and I tried to explain that Mummy was staying so we could bake cakes and make glittery calendars. This was just too much for Lola to compute and she just cried and cried and cried some more.
    I tried to distract her by going to the table to splodge glue and glitter everywhere, this just resulted in major meltdown central.   The carewokers really tried their best with her too but nothing worked, I almost bailed at this point as I felt I was actually doing more harm than good.She was disrupting everyone with her howling (its loud) so in the end after 40 minutes of screaming and tantrums we went into the kitchen to eat mince pies and this seemed to change her back to calm Lola!

    We managed to get a pretty good picture by the end of the session and she had a dance and we read some books with her friends who were all fighting over who would sit on my lap but it really brought it home to me just how sensitive she is to change and how much the routine is instilled in her already and just how emotional she can be and I was absolutely shattered after 2 hours of this carry on! Its made me appreciate what a brilliant a job the care workers do every day to just keep the peace amongst the toddlers and I will be getting them all something lovely for Christmas as a token of gratitude, they deserve a medal quite frankly! I think I need to rethink my recent strategy of trying to give Lola these experiences as shes just not ready yet, shes too young to deal with much change so I shall just stop trying so hard and just enjoy the more simple adventures until shes a bit more able to cope with it (and me)

    Offline Artypants

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    Parenting of an unruly toddler
    « Reply #2 on: 19/12/16, 19:55 »
    Its been a bit of a whirlwind week for me (no change there) last week I had a private appointment with my gyne consultant, the reason I had the appointment was because I was sick of waiting for my operation date for my laparoscopy. I've been waiting since August since I was put on the list. They can't give me a date for this op, it could be Feb or it could be March we don't know was there answer is what they said. After discussing it with DH we decided we would fund the op ourselves, so off I went to see my man and I told him what was going on and he scanned me and to my shock I now have another diagnosis to add to my collection. So I now have adenomyosis to add to the many illnesses list, this is a new one, it wasn't there at the beginning of the year but its definitely there now so it needs to be sorted along with the endo he could see on my left ovary and the big pool of fluid behind my pouch of douglas and god knows what else is lurking there! I'm having the op tomorrow so nothing like a few days to prepare for surgery 6 days before Xmas!

    I have been feeling increasingly anxious about catching anything infectious before the op and before Xmas and this morning when I dropped Lola off one of the Mums turned up looking a bit flustered, I asked if she was OK and she announced that her husband had been in bed all weekend with the flu and her eldest son had been up all night vomiting! I absolutely freaked out (in my head) at this point, so you are potentially bringing in the norovirus into the nursery less than a week before Xmas knowing this could wipe everyone out within days, I was fuming, her boy is in Lolas toddler room too which makes the risk too high for my liking, I got on the train feeling really concerned,  I got off after a few stops to go and get her as I was really not happy to leave her there, the staff must have thought I was mad but when I explained they were fine and understood, I think they had also been lied to as well as they were unaware of the vomiting bit so they were probably very annoyed about the risks too. So Lola will stay off tomorrow as well and we will just have to deal with her being with us for the day, not ideal but when people make selfish decisions like that without realising the implications then this is what you have to deal with to stay well!

    Hopefully it will go smoothly and my innards won't feel quite so hideously painful all the time.

    Bye for now x

    Offline Artypants

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    Parenting of an unruly toddler
    « Reply #3 on: 23/12/16, 19:23 »
    So I am 3 days post op and recovering quite well. I had a ridiculously long wait when I arrived for my op at 12:30, you are advised not to eat or drink after 7:30am so I had tea and toast at 7:15 and arrived with the expectation that I would probably be 2nd or 3rd on the list and be done and dusted by 4pm, WRONG! I FINALLY went down for my op at 7:00pm!  ^bigbad^ ^bigbad^ ^bigbad^ I was absolutely blimmin hank marvin and dehydrated with a stinking headache at this point. I kept buzzing my buzzer asking the nurses what was going on and why was it taking so long, nobody could give me a decent answer so I resigned myself to being last on the list which wasn't ideal when you have virtually no childcare options. (DH brother babysat incase anyone thinks we left her!)

    I eventually got back to my room at 8:30pm and DH was waiting for me, I immediately wanted water and a biscuit even though my mouth was as dry as the Sahara but I wanted to eat drink and wee and get out of there. I had to wait for my consultant to come and see me before I left and he graced me with his presence at 10:30pm! As soon as we could I was dressed and out the door getting home for 11:00pm! I was so dosed up on drugs I was out for count straight away which was a relief.

    Lola is very confused by my lack of being able to pick her up and cuddle her on demand (which is a lot most days) so shes finding that hard as am I. I have been trying to entertain her in other ways by reading books with her and anything Peppa pig related, the downside being is that she keeps elbowing me right in the puncture wound in my side which is now really sore and angry looking, but, its nice having cuddles but I am really looking forward to getting my full strength back ASAP. ONly 2 more days until Xmas, I wrapped all of my presents ready for the big day, its going to be nice having my feet up for a change, DH is doing everything and that's how i like it


    Offline Artypants

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    Parenting of an unruly toddler
    « Reply #4 on: 30/03/17, 20:23 »
    Blimey I'm a bit rubbish at updating this diary. My little big girl is 2 today, what a huge achievement to have parented this little miracle child to be a happy little girl. She woke up in a fabulous mood, there was a present and card opening frenzy for what seemed like hours, she has received so many lovely cards presents and messages today I feel truly blessed. DH and I have been so happy today knowing how very lucky we are.

    Happy birthday little munk munnks  ^birthday^ ^birthday^ ^birthday^ ^birthday^ ^rainbow^ ^rainbow^ ^rainbow^