Diary of a very happy mammy of 3 miracles

[Shamrock.]

I'm delighted to see that a parenting diary section has finally been set up here on FF.
I've been keeping treatment diaries for years (I started my first one in April 2011) and since I was finally successful on my 5th fresh cycle using donor embryos I have sometimes posted entries in my treatment diary about my little girl and subsequently my little boy but I always felt uncomfortable doing so encase I unintentionally upset someone reading the diaries who was still on the difficult journey without success. Now with this parenting  diary I will be able to freely record milestones and the ups and downs of family life without worrying that I might cause hurt to someone reading.

For anyone interested here's a link to my latest treatment diary:
https://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=339766.0. I am currently waiting for AF so that I can begin a FET cycle to try for baby #3 !!

[FertilityFriends]

[Shamrock.]

So my little family's make up is probably relatively unique....I am extremely lucky to be mammy to a 3 1/2 year old girl who was conceived using donor eggs and donor sperm and a 2 1/2 year old boy who was conceived naturally so obviously using own egg and own sperm.

Before conceiving our beautiful little girl P we had 4x unsuccessful OE/OS cycles including a m/c then finally success at last when we moved to donor. The day P turned 5mths old I did a hpt because my AF was late and I got the biggest surprise/shock of my entire life when it was positive. I was 41 years old and myself and my husband had previously been told that due to our combination of many fertility issues there was less than 1% chance of a natural conception for us. I will never forget the moment I found out I was pregnant naturally. I often happily relive that moment in my mind and it feels so real like it is happening again and the feeling is fantastic....pure emotional shock  I think it must be what it would feel like if you'd just discovered you had won the euro millions. Anyhow, I was extremely lucky because despite my advanced age the pregnancy went without hitch and I gave birth to our little boy R.

R was born only 1 year & 20 days after P was born ....Irish twins  I found it very difficult to manage them in the beginning because P was still so young when R was born, she wasn't even walking at that stage so they both had to be carried everywhere and they were both in nappies and both drinking bottles etc and totally dependent on me for everything but somehow I survived it and now it is great having them so close in age.

I have to go here now...this morning is my once a week lie-in when DH gets up with P and R and I get to stay in bed until I feel like getting up (DH gets one lie-in a week too when I get up)... but all I can hear is P and R fighting with each other downstairs over toys so I better get up now and help DH referee them 

[Shamrock.]

Tuesday 2nd October 2016

In addition to looking after P and R I go out to work 4 days a week Tues to Friday. Today was a work day for me and this evening DH had to attend a lecture for his part-time college course so I had a very busy day where I was going non stop for over 14 and half hours 

My day began at 7:15am when R woke up crying. DH and I take turns every second morning getting up to him and this morning was my turn so at 7:15am I changed Rs nappy, gave him a beaker of milk and set up the iPad beside his cot so that he could watch nursery rhymes while I went to get ready for work. By 8am I was dressed and make up on and both P and R were up. Our childminder comes into the house at 8:40am and by then I had given the kids their breakfast. I left the house at 8:45am and clocked into work at 9am.

I was very busy in work drafting the report of an audit I conducted on Friday. My senior manager asked me to attend a meeting and I had to tell her I didn't have time to as the audit report has to be completed by tomorrow. I worked through my lunch and managed to get out of the office at 5pm.

On the way home from work I did a grocery shop in Tesco for essentials and picked up the dry cleaning. I got home at 5:45pm and straight away started dinner...a homemade spaghetti bolognaise made from scratch. In between chopping veg and cooking pasta I played with P and R, sorted out laundry and tried to stop P from taking things off R. Dinner turned out lovely but P got in a strop when I gave R his food first and she deliberately threw her bowl of Bolognese all over the floor...que me giving out lots and sending P to her room until I calmed down.

After cleaning up the dinner mess and filling the dishwasher I got stuck into trying to sort out mounds of laundry that was dry but needed to be sorted into various presses/wardrobes for me, DH, P and R. I then made Ps lunch for pre-school tomorrow and picked out her clothes to wear to pre-school.. At the same time I played for a bit with P and R who were having great fun with cat food pouches from the groceries I brought home earlier. At one stage they were both pretending to be cats, then P was a shopkeeper selling cat food and R made beds for his teddies out of the cat food boxes, then P set up an obstacle course of pouches and played hopscotch with them 

After all that fun I dressed both of them for bed and brought them upstairs about 8:15pm. By 9pm they were both settled in bed but my day wasn't finished because I still had to clean the kitchen counters, put yet another wash in the machine then hoover and mop the kitchen floor. At 9:30pm I went for a shower and I was just finished when DH came home. At about 10pm I was finally sitting down with my feet up....so that's 7:15am to 10pm without a break  ...almost 15 hours and the funny thing is I will be doing it all again tomorrow but thankfully DH will be home tomorrow evening to help out 

[Shamrock.]

Sunday 9th October 2016

R is 2 years, 6 mths, 1 wk & 6 days old

Since R was about 2 mths old he has slept in a baby sleeping bag. I used them with P too and I find them great because the baby/toddler can't kick off blankets and thus wake themselves up if they get cold and they can stop a toddler climbing out of their cot. Well, they used to stop R climbing out of the cot until yesterday!

Yesterday afternoon when R was down in his cot for his usual afternoon nap myself and DH were in our bedroom and we heard the door opening. We assumed it would be P so we got a big surprise when R was there saying "Hello Mammy, Hello Daddy". He has never gotten out of his sleeping bag before or out of his cot! His cot is a cotbed and quiet large and deep so it should not be easy for him to climb out of. Intrigued about how he did it we put R back into the cot and watched him pull himself with all his strength up onto the end of the cot and then literally somersault onto the spare bed that is in his room  The bed was a little bit away from the cot so how he didn't hurt himself is beyond me. After seeing those acrobatics I moved the cot over right beside the bed so that if he did it again he would at least have less chance of getting hurt.

This morning at 7:30am both myself and DH were fast asleep and we woke up to our bedroom door opening and R shouting  "Morning!!"  He had again gotten himself out of his sleeping bag, out of his cot, out of his room and into ours  We let him climb into our bed in the middle of the two of us and he was delighted with himself. We both got lovely cuddles for a few minutes and R was touching my face and saying "there's mammys eyebrows" and showing me his eyebrows and then pointing out DHs 

R finds it impossible to stay still for more than a minute so 5 minutes after he got into bed with us DH had to get up with him. Yes it's my turn for a lie in again! Awhhh the bliss 

[Shamrock.]

Sunday 16th October 2016

P is 3 yrs, 7 mths, 1 wk & 2 days old

R is 2 yrs, 6 mths, 2 wks & 6 days old

In the week since I last posted R has moved out of his cot and is now sleeping in a double bed   
We had to move him out of the cot for safety reasons because he was somersaulting in and out of the cot and landing on his head and we were afraid he would injure himself. We firstly took the side off his cot as it was a cot bed but he was still climbing over the end of it and the first night without the side to contain him he rolled out of the cot onto the floor in his sleep. To be honest I think cot beds are a waste of money....you are better to just move a child from a cot to a proper size bed with a bed rail on it. So after R fell out of the cot bed we put him sleeping in the double bed in his room and he loves it. He looks so tiny and cute in the big bed and he has plenty of room to move around in it

We also had to take the stair gates off the stairs during the week. P had learned how to open them a few weeks ago so they weren't serving any purpose for her and then R started trying out his new found acrobatics skills and was somersaulting over the bottom gate head first. I don't know how he didn't injure his neck. When I saw him trying, and almost succeeding, to climb over the top stair gate I immediately had DH take them down.

So it seems that suddenly Rs cot is gone and the stair gates are gone. R is no longer a baby...he is growing up too fast 

I haven't said anything about P yet here. I have loads I want to record about her as soon as I get the time. For now though my bed is calling me. We were out last night at my sister As 50th birthday party so I'm wrecked tired and it's my turn to get up to R in the morning 

[Shamrock.]

Wednesday 26th October 2016

P is 3 yrs, 7 mths, 2 wks & 5 days old

R will turn 2 yrs, 7 mths old tomorrow

I've loads I want to record here so that I can read back on it in a few years to re-live the memories but having two lively toddlers and a full-time job it's very hard to get time to myself to sit down and write. This morning I have a window of a few minutes to myself as I sit in the gynaecologist waiting room waiting for a scan and blood test to see if I've ovulated for my FET. All going well I should have precious embryos transferred in about 5 days time 

Ekkk just been called in for the scan!

[Shamrock.]

Wednesday 30th November 2016

P is 3 yrs, 8 mths, 3 wks & 2 days old

R is 2 yrs, 8 mths & 3 days old

It's over a month since I posted here and last time I wrote I was in the middle of a FET cycle.  Anyhow on that cycle my embryo transfer went well and everything looked promising but I got a BFN. I am gearing up to go for another FET in early January and it will be our last ever treatment cycle because after the next transfer there will be no more embryos left 

Anyhow I logged in here because I really do want to start recording stuff about P and R before the memories about everyday things fade away. They do and say loads of adorable things every day and I'd love to capture it all but as always lack of time and energy are against me.

It's only 4 weeks to Christmas so last weekend I decided to make a start on putting up the Christmas decorations. I used to hate Christmas when we were going through IVF cycles but now I love it so this year I didn't even wait until December to start making our house look as festive as possible for the kids.

When I put our tree together and put the lights on it P decided she was going to decorate it and as always R decided he was going to do whatever P was doing because it looked like fun  I had a big box full of decorations and they wouldn't let me help so I just left them to it and went out to the kitchen. I secretly peeped around the sitting room door occasionally to check what was going on and found P giving R instructions on where to put the baubles and little angels and snowmen etc.
They were so cute looking taking turns hanging up things on the tree I took photos of them. I had household chores to do so I left them to it for about 10 mins. Next thing R came out to me and said "mammy look snow" and he took me by the hand to bring me to see the 'snow'. They had taken all the white protective foam for putting around delicate breakable decorations and made snow out of it by crumbling it up and they were having what they called 'snowball fights' by throwing big lumps of it at each other  P announced that she was in her own words 'finished decorating the place'. There was everything and anything on the Christmas tree and all down near the bottom of it. Every decoration they could get there hands on plus everything that they had found in the sitting room from pieces of cutlery and string to remote controls The room was a complete mess with empty decoration boxes and wrapping and 'snow' everywhere but they were both so proud of their decorating that I just told them they had done a great job getting the tree ready for Santa and when they were gone to bed that night I took everything off the tree and decorated it properly myself 

[Shamrock.]

Thursday 15th December 2016

P is 3 yrs, 9 mths, 1 week and 1 day old

R is 2 yrs, 8 mths, 2 weeks and 5 days old

I am really looking forward to today. Myself, DH and R have been invited to Ps pre-school for her Christmas concert! Its on at 10am. I remember a few years ago going to my nieces Christmas concert while we were going through all the ivf cycles and heartache and although I enjoyed seeing my niece on stage I was sad thinking I would probably never get to experience it with my own child. But now that day has come and I am sooo excited 

I know its just going to be a bunch of toddlers singing out of tune and more than likely going to be a lot of tears and tantrums coz the toddlers will be all out of routine with seeing their parents in school but to me its like being invited to see P perform at the National Concert Hall My time has come....I do have a little girl of my own and I will get the chance to experience what I longed for years ago 

This evening is going to bring even more excitement because we have been invited to Ps dance and drama class for her Christmas performance there too! P goes to a stage school every Thursday evening from 4pm to 5pm. She has been going every week since the beginning of September. So to me this evening is like being invited to the most exciting Christmas show on Broadway....I am invited to see MY little girl perform her dance routines and maybe hear her sing .... I cannot wait 


UPDATE:
Ps concert at her pre-school was adorable. I cried when I saw her on stage. She looked sooooo cute. All the children looked cute in their little Santa hats and Christmas jumpers. There is only 12 children in her class and only two classes in the school. It is a nanori which means that they mainly teach and interact with the kids through the Irish language so most of the songs and rhymes the kids performed today were done through Irish. It is amazing how much of the Irish language P has picked up since she started there in August especially since we don't speak it at home.
All the kids were very well behaved and there was no tears or tantrums whatsoever. They all just looked like they were really enjoying themselves. How do they get twelve 3 yr olds to cooperate perfectly? I need some of that magic for home 

Stage school this evening was a different story! As I said earlier, P has been going there once a week since the beginning of September and she loves it ...well she used to love it until she decided today that she doesn't want to go there ever again! Last week was the first week she refused to go but she had an ear infection that day and was miserable with that so I put it down to her not feeling well then and assumed she would be raring to go this week as she normally can't wait to go.

Anyways, this evening DH and I both got off work early to attend Ps second concert of the day. I had arranged to meet DH at the stage school and when I got there P was outside with DH, our childminder and R and she was again absolutely refusing to go in. Nothing would convince her. We all tried different approaches but no way was she budging. The lady who runs the classes even came out twice to try and coax her in and she got nowhere so she said that if P still doesn't want to go after Christmas she will give me a refund as I had just paid last week for her second term there  In the end we gave up and came home without seeing any of the performances I was soooo looking forward to enjoying 

[Shamrock.]

Friday 23rd December 2016

We brought P and R to visit Santa last Sunday. We have being going to see Santa every year since Xmas 2013 and every year we get a family photo taken of the occasion so now this year I have 4 years of photos and it is nice and nostalgic to see the progression of the kids from year to year. That first year in 2013 we just had P and we brought her to see Santa at the local shopping centre which was actually quite good except P, who was 9 months old at the time, was at the 'making strange' stage and she bawled the minute Santa tried to interact with her. We did manage to get one photo of her not crying but looking very cross sitting on my knee beside him 

This year we brought P and R to the CC Hotel to see him at Santa's Magical Trail. Unfortunately the day we were going both kids were off form. I ended up bringing them to the gp the next day and P was diagnosed with infections in both her ears and her throat and R was diagnosed with a severe throat infection. So understandably when we were going they were both cranky but we went anyways because it was booked and paid for since September and we had arranged to meet two sets of our friends with kids there.

On the way there in the car P was convinced we were going to the North Pole and she was asking R would he build a snowman with her when we got there... Awhhh 
When we arrived we registered then got 'professional' photos taken with a green backdrop behind and you pick your own background afterwards. We managed to get one nice family photo of the 4 of us all looking at the camera at the same time then we tried to get a photo taken of just P and R on their own together. The photographer must have taken at least 20 photos to try to get one with both of them looking in the same direction. At first P refused to stand beside R and then when she did he was distracted and kept turning around and looking everywhere but at the camera  Eventually the photographer did get one snap of both of them looking in the same direction which I am sure I will treasure in years to come when they are both grown up on me.

After getting the photos taken it was time to set off on the magical trail to see Santa. The trail consisted of elves bringing a group of us from one room to another with various elves doing different things to entertain the kids in each room until we eventually got to a room with the main man himself in it.

R was very excited about the prospect of seeing Santa. He is obsessed with little matchbox cars which he calls 'beep beeps' and he was sure Santa was going to give him 'beep beeps'. Each room the elves brought us into R asked "Where's Santa?" and he was pulling my hand and saying "Come on Mammy Lets go. I want to see Santa". After about 5 different rooms with different elves R shouted very loudly "No more elves. I don't want to see any more elves. I just want to see Santa"  Everyone in the group burst out laughing 

When we did eventually get in to see Santa R wanted his present straight away and when he got it he ripped off the wrapping paper immediately. He was very disappointed that he only got a jigsaw puzzle and not beep beeps 

[Shamrock.]

Tues 27th December 2016

P is 3 yrs, 9 mths, 2 wks, 6 days old

R turns 2 yrs, 9 mths old today

P has an imaginary friend called Ginger. She has been friends with Ginger for almost a year now. We first heard about her when P was 2 yrs, 10 mths old and it might be a conincidence but Ginger came into our lives the same time P moved from her cot into a big bed so I think it is a sort of comfort thing for P that gives her confidence to deal with the big world around her. I consulted Dr Google about it and learned that it is a sign of very good creativity for a young child to have such a complex imaginary friend as Ginger is 

Over the year she has been part of our lives Ginger has evolved somewhat and now (according to what P says about her) she lives a parallel life to ours. According to P ...Ginger has a mammy named Mary and a daddy named Sean. She has a little brother named Michael. Ginger is 4 so she is a year older than P. Michael is 2, the same age as R. As well as having the same family set up as ours Ginger often does the same sorts of things or goes to the same places as us (but never at the exact same time).

P talks about Ginger as if she is very real but she is never in the same room as us, she just talks about things that Ginger does or things that Ginger said. It is very amusing and we see no harm in it so we play along with P and ask her questions about Ginger etc and talk to P as if we believe what she is saying about her.

P doesn't talk about Ginger every day but every now and then she goes through phases of talking about her a good bit. What made me think about recording about Ginger here was that yesterday I was bringing P in the car to visit DHs parents and for the entire 25 minute journey she spoke non stop about Ginger. She was telling me all about what Ginger got from Santa for Christmas and she was telling me about a fight Ginger had with her brother Michael because Michael took some of her toys 

Something I find very amusing about it all is every time I ask to meet Ginger face to face P makes up elaborate excuses about why it's not possible at that time. If P is talking a lot about Ginger I would sometimes tell her she can invite Ginger to our house to visit us or tell her we will call to Gingers house to visit her but P makes up an excuse on the spot as to why that's not possible. For example the other day I said Ginger could come to our house and P said "Emmm no she can't today coz Gingers mammy fell and hurt her leg and she can't drive the car so she can't bring Ginger here"  Yesterday I said we would go to Gingers house to see what Santa brought her and P said hang on I will ring Ginger first so she had an imaginary conversation with Ginger on her Peppa Pig phone and then said "Mammy we can't visit Ginger today coz she is gone to Dublin to visit her granny"