Thank you ladies,
I really do appreciate the input, it helps enormously.
Mandalay, thank you. I agree that you need to stay as fit as ever possible. My general health is ok though I could do with doing a bit of exercise. I've worked hard to lose the steroid weight from my cycles through healthy eating but motivation has been difficult to muster regarding exercise, it's a standing joke at work as I've had a printed exercise timetable from a local place on my desk since August!

Perhaps my body has needed the recovery and resting time from the trauma, but I do now need to make an effort. At my lowest points I criticise myself for not being more active and feeling lathargic, I just haven't seen the point saying I've no one to do it for, but DH points out it's the years of IVF that've taken it's toll, that makes me feel weary, that if we were to succeed a new focus, motivation and energy will kick in because we will have someone dependant on us, and because you want to. There's not a lot of times when he talks sense but I must admit this time I think he's got something.
Hi
RB, thank you for posting, I'm sorry for your difficulties and loss. I'm so pleased though that you were blessed with your lo. I have to agree also.. even though it feels a very close call between trying again and not, the fear of not trying I don't think I'd be in this constant tug of war in my head if I was adamant about drawing a line under it. Fear of losing again aside, I think maybe it's change that scares me, even more than age. I know it would be a good change if we were to be successful, but we've just been plodding along as a couple for so very long now, I'm afraid we've got stuck in our ways. I over think things, always have. As a Capricorn I'm very cautious and sometimes it annoys the hell out of me because there's a part of me that wants to jump right in and forget the ifs and buts.
I relate to your last comment strongly.. I work in care proceedings and despair every day at the stories I hear. It's sometimes hard not to voice your anger and frustration.
How's Lydia
Debs? What a scare! Did it happen following her immunisations? Sometimes they can make you ill. Hope all has calmed down now and you're all enjoying the build up to Christmas. Thank you for your words of encouragement..
AFM Our need to make a decision is getting scarily close.. we've received feedback from Gennet with a new protocol and prescriptions

The festive season tugs at my heart....
Merry Christmas to you all and all the very best for 2017

I'll keep you updated..
Essie xx