* Author Topic: Can I do this?? I'm not sure...  (Read 78152 times)

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Offline EssieJean

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Can I do this?? I'm not sure...
« Reply #20 on: 24/12/16, 09:34 »
Thank you ladies,

I really do appreciate the input, it helps enormously.

Mandalay, thank you. I agree that you need to stay as fit as ever possible.  My general health is ok though I could do with doing a bit of exercise. I've worked hard to lose the steroid weight from my cycles through healthy eating but motivation has been difficult to muster regarding exercise, it's a standing joke at work as I've had a printed exercise timetable from a local place on my desk since August!  ::)  Perhaps my body has needed the recovery and resting time from the trauma, but I do now need to make an effort. At my lowest points I criticise myself for not being more active and feeling lathargic, I just haven't seen the point saying I've no one to do it for, but DH points out it's the years of IVF that've taken it's toll, that makes me feel weary, that if we were to succeed a new focus, motivation and energy will kick in because we will have someone dependant on us, and because you want to. There's not a lot of times when he talks sense but I must admit this time I think he's got something.

Hi RB, thank you for posting, I'm sorry for your difficulties and loss. I'm so pleased though that you were blessed with your lo. I have to agree also.. even though it feels a very close call between trying again and not, the fear of not trying I don't think I'd be in this constant tug of war in my head if I was adamant about drawing a line under it.   Fear of losing again aside, I think maybe it's change that scares me, even more than age. I know it would be a good change if we were to be successful, but we've just been plodding along as a couple for so very long now, I'm afraid we've got stuck in our ways. I over think things, always have. As a Capricorn I'm very cautious and sometimes it annoys the hell out of me because there's a part of me that wants to jump right in and forget the ifs and buts.

I relate to your last comment strongly.. I work in care proceedings and despair every day at the stories I hear. It's sometimes hard not to voice your anger and frustration.

How's Lydia Debs? What a scare! Did it happen following her immunisations? Sometimes they can make you ill.  Hope all has calmed down now and you're all enjoying the build up to Christmas. Thank you for your words of encouragement..

AFM Our need to make a decision is getting scarily close.. we've received feedback from Gennet with a new protocol and prescriptions  ^eyes^ The festive season tugs at my heart....

Merry Christmas to you all and all the very best for 2017  ^xmassmile^

I'll keep you updated..

Essie xx

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    Offline Sassy-lassy

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    Can I do this?? I'm not sure...
    « Reply #21 on: 2/01/17, 12:21 »
    Dear Essie

    I came across your post by chance, and don't have time to give you the response I want just now, but will PM you.  You have had a ghastly time of it, and I am so sorry.  It's entirely understandable if you're in turmoil just now, and just wish I was there to give you a massive hug. 

    Believe me, I understand where you're coming from... It took us 9x donor cycles, a MMC, and ectopic pg and several mms (the last before I even sought fertility treatment...) to get the baby we yearned for. 

    And I am old too, giving birth to our DD one day shy of my 49th birthday. 

    For DH and I (esp me) however, giving up on the idea of a child was worse than the nightmare of having treatments, particularly the last two.  That is NOT to say that it was an easy decision or that we could easily afford it... In a way, IF treatment is a form of high risk gambling - and I am not a player.  Although Serum was a good experience, we changed clinics for the last couple of cycles (yes, I know... more risk) and for us this paid off. 

    Hopefully, we will "speak" more soon, lots of love, Sassy xx
         

    Offline EssieJean

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    « Reply #22 on: 3/01/17, 13:26 »
    Hi Sassy!  Lovely to hear from you - how's motherhood? 

    Thank you for replying.. I remember the cycles I went through with you and was in awe of your tenacity, strength and determination. I'm so very pleased it was all worth it in the end  ^hugme^

    I've seen your pm and will reply soon - back at work now, but will reply as soon as I can.

    Take care and Happy New Year to you all

    xx

    Offline EssieJean

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    « Reply #23 on: 18/01/17, 22:09 »
    Quick update from me in case anyone reading...

    Today I turned 48  ^eyes^ .. a big day in more ways than one.... we're going for it!!  We decided to give our dream another chance to come true.  Lots of emotion, worry, fear but also a hint of excitement poking through the intrepidation and apprehension.

    Meds have been ordered and we're going out to Prague on 13th April for ET on the 19th.

    Hugs to all
    Essie xx

    Offline Riley12

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    « Reply #24 on: 18/01/17, 22:20 »
    I'm so pleased to read this  ^hugme^ I've read your journey for a long time and I want this for you so much.

    Happy birthday xx

    Offline EssieJean

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    « Reply #25 on: 18/01/17, 22:26 »
    Aw thank you so much Riley.. I really do appreciate the support  ^hugme^ Xx

    Offline deblovescats

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    « Reply #26 on: 18/01/17, 22:48 »
    Sassy - glad you got your dream baby in the end. I'm so sorry that you had all the difficulties and heartache. So happy you got your positive outcome in the end. I remember your name from cycles. I was also 49 when I gave birth to my beautiful daughter! We older mums can do it!
    Essie - happy birthday - so happy you've come to a decision and that you're going to give your dream another go. I am so rooting for you - I'll be watching out for the outcome. coincidentally - You're travelling out to Prague on my mum's 88th birthday! Essie - Lydia's hip scan was fine - the GP had said she had loose hips. She is fine now after that little scare. She's also had her 1st immunisations. Christmas was lovely with two little ones. We went to a church crib service - James was a shepherd and Lydia had a starring role as Baby Jesus - she behaved perfectly - slept through it - the vicar's wife didn't need to use the stand in - a doll.

    Offline mandalay

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    « Reply #27 on: 19/01/17, 19:02 »
    So pleased for you, Essie!!! There are many of us here wishing for your success.  It's quite nice to bear that in mind as you do your treatment somehow. You know you made the right decision when your heart leaps at the chance that's coming up. Keep well and get going on your pregnacare vitamins! xxx

    Offline EssieJean

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    « Reply #28 on: 19/01/17, 20:00 »
    Thanks ladies!

    Debs, hopefully travelling out on your mum's birthday will bring me good luck so I can join the 49 club  ;) so pleased all is well with Lydia's hip and how wonderful she played the part of baby Jesus.. obviously meant to be. I bet James looked so cute up there on stage  :)

    Mandalay, I started pregna care a few weeks ago but I've not got into the routine yet and keep missing them, perhaps now everything is booked it will seem more real and keep me focused.

    As hard a decision it was, if it wasn't for all the supportive inspiring ladies on here, the decision would have been much harder to make.

    Hugs to all
    Essie xx

    Offline bundles

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    « Reply #29 on: 19/01/17, 22:19 »
    Belated Happy Birthday Essie  ^hugme^ And I'm so pleased you're going again - as you probably could guess  ;D   If it was just down to how many of us you had willing you on you'd have quads !!! But let's just hope for one or two  ;)

    Big hugs honey xxx