* Author Topic: Can I do this?? I'm not sure...  (Read 78151 times)

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Offline deblovescats

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Can I do this?? I'm not sure...
« Reply #50 on: 20/02/17, 21:12 »
Essie -  I think it's natural for you to have the wobbles after what you've both been through. DH is anxious about your health but if you do get a deserved BFP, you will be closely monitored!!! It is daunting going through meds etc, but think what is hopefully at the end of your tx. I have been worried about being an older mum - at least DH will have society congratulating him and not condemning him like they do us!

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    Offline EssieJean

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    « Reply #51 on: 21/02/17, 13:27 »
    Thanks Debs, I agree re: condemnation!  ::)  regarding age though DH is more concerned about the effect it will have on him (us) as he (we) gets older rather than what people will say.  He's still in two minds whether he still wants parenthood now.  Funny how it can be all that you ever want then as the years roll by and all you have left is grief to look back on, you begin to wonder if it's ever meant to be...

    Offline Sassy-lassy

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    « Reply #52 on: 22/02/17, 01:20 »
    Dear Essie,
    I think your fears are entirely natural, and possibly also a form of self-protection.  I absolutely found the last couple of treatment rounds hard - after 9x DE cycles, I kept reflecting on the (seemingly increasingly remote) likelihood of us finally getting good news - but carrying on seemed less worse than accepting a childless future.  Doubtless we would have somehow found the resources to do another cycle if this last one hadn't worked too - I was prepared to carry on until the legal cut-off point if necessary. 
    As it was, we were finally blessed.  Being a mum at nearly 50 was not something that I would have planned and I do worry about my LO having older parents. Every time I look at her though, I feel close to tears with love.  Never could a child be more cherished.  My DH is likewise totally besotted, although he was having second thoughts too as the cycles rolled round and we started to wonder if this was what fate had written for us. 
    I think what I am trying to say is that Miracles can happen Essie.  BUT, they are oiled by tenacity, perseverance and (in my case), a willingness for more compromise than I'd thought possible at the start of our journey.  Hang on in there.
    Sending hugs
    Sassy xx

    Offline Offthewall

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    « Reply #53 on: 22/02/17, 10:54 »
    Essie
    -
    Sassy - wise words xx

    Essie, just wanted to let you know that we are all behind you and willing for this treatment to work this time.

    After Many failed cycles, my partner was becoming disillusioned but I always had utmost confidence that one treatment would work for us, no matter how many it took!

    Have faith honey, Gennet really are a pros.

    Fulltank xxx

    Offline EssieJean

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    « Reply #54 on: 23/02/17, 13:12 »
    Thank you so much Sassy and OfftheWall - it's lovely to hear from old 'friends' who have been there themselves and who understand...

    I really do appreciate your words of kindness and encouragement.  The word 'disillusioned' resonated with me, that's exactly how we feel.  I am by nature stubborn in that I don't take defeat easily.. I feel like I have to dig real deep now to find that tenacity and perseverance to push along.  I used to be such a positive person, and happy, that girl seems to be a lifetime away from what I am now.

    I'm sure we will go ahead though.  We both need to quash the idea in our heads that it's a pointless effort, and power on through.

    Matters are not helped when you're clinic ask you where on your cycle are you, when you've gone through menopause at 36!  ^bigbad^  Makes me think they just spout off standard questions without looking at individual files, which in turn doesn't exactly give me confidence in them.  I'm supposed to have a bleed on 2 April but I've had no contact previous to my enquiry about it.  I struggle bringing on a bleed and can't take BC pill, but yet, they ask about my cycle and if I have any BC pills at home  ::)...

    Starting to feel very anxious....

    I don't have anyone I can talk to about this who would understand so it's good to know I have you guys to prevent me from curling up into a ball and shutting the world out.

    Thank you.

    Essie xx

    Offline Louisej29

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    « Reply #55 on: 23/02/17, 22:21 »
    Hi essie

    Have been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. Sorry to see you are both having a few wobbles. I agree that it is totally normal and to be expected after all you have been through, and all the pain and hurt and disappointment you've endured time and time over.  Try to dig deep like you said and keep going. Hopefully this is your time and that happy positive person will resurface! X

    Not good enough with your clinic.  I would have thought better of them given the reviews they have on here. No wonder you're anxious but don't let that put uou off.  Don't shut the world out and keep on talking to everyone on here. We are all rooting for you so much.  If there is one person I want to get their take home baby it is you.  Go give that bear of yours a big hug !!  Sending lots of positive thoughts your way xxxx

    Offline Sassy-lassy

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    « Reply #56 on: 23/02/17, 23:46 »
    Hi Essie,

    I agree with Louise, it's not bloody good enough (concerning your clinic).  I have to say that this would give me the colly-wobbles too, and that whilst ultimately, it is their medical expertise that counts and not the niceties, communication is pretty damn important!!!  So don't hesitate to get on the phone if they don't answer your emails satisfactorily.  It is not fair for you to be unnerved before treatment even starts - it's stressful enough as it is.

    In my opinion, stubbornness and not knowing when to quit are vastly under-estimated qualities.  Without them, I would not have had the strength to carry on and would never have had my LO.  So you go girl... x

    IF does indeed turn your life upside down.  But you have been so tantalisingly close before, and there is no reason why next time won't be The time.

    Hugs, Sassy xx

         

     

    Offline EssieJean

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    « Reply #57 on: 24/02/17, 13:12 »
    Thank you ever so much Louise and Sassy -  Louise, Essie-bear is in the living room snuggled up on the bookcase - you and ELW always come to mind when I glance over  ^hugme^

    As for Gennet - after contacting them to advise I do not cycle and asking them when I should start progynova, they have replied apologising for the cycling thing, but only advised me when to STOP progynova, not when to start it!  I'm worried now that I should have been on it already  ^eyes^  I've sent an urgent email but I doubt I'll get a reply before weekend now......

    xx


    Offline Sassy-lassy

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    « Reply #58 on: 24/02/17, 15:01 »
    Essie - can you phone them?  You don't want to be stressing over the weekend xxx

    Offline EssieJean

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    « Reply #59 on: 24/02/17, 19:21 »
    Hi Sassy,

    I couldn't ring from work but Mr Essie managed to get through. my coordinator explained and apologised she had got confused and thought I was on BC pill when she told me to stop. She is going to speak with Dr Danek and get back to me, but in meantime I'm not to worry, there's plenty of time to take meds before expected bleed.

    Panic averted  ::)

    Thanks ladies

    Have good weekends

    Xx