* Author Topic: Our new journey to become a family 2017  (Read 7550 times)

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Offline itsonlybridge

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Our new journey to become a family 2017
« Reply #30 on: 12/04/17, 09:49 »
So the last 3 weeks have been eventful with paperwork overload! We seem to have managed to bag ourselves a scatty sw, so she has had to revisit a number of things as she tends to be quite forgetful which can be frustrating, especially when I am a bit of a control freak when it comes to being organised with paperwork!

Our DBS checks have come back, our medicals are done, pet assessment done, home health and safety complete,  finances submitted,  friends and family references done and interviewed, 14 books read! An e-learning module complete, 4 prep days done, chronology report complete and mountains of paperwork completed and signed!

Day 3 and 4 prep days were good and it was ncie to meet up with the group again as they are now becoming familiar friendly faces and a few we will certainly stay in touch with. There's a certain kind of bonding that happens on these courses when you are all sharing similar experiences and emotions throughout the day and sharing personal stories.

So now we wait until 21st April for a final decision as to whether we have been accepted to begin stage 2!

If that is approved then we have weekly meetings booking in with our sw throughout May with a view to being at Panel in August!

Meanwhile, we are being kept busy with DH new business, and planting in the garden! I have a raised vegetable bed this year which I'm super excited about (that will be due to the fact I am 40 next month!  ^idiot^ )

DH is taking me away to York for a spa break on my 40th which I cant wait for and hopefully we will be going away in June for our last holiday abroad for a while.

It's all go!!! xxx

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    Offline itsonlybridge

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    Our new journey to become a family 2017
    « Reply #31 on: 18/04/17, 13:32 »
    Well our sw called on Thursday to confirm that we have been approved through stage 1  ;D  We weren't due to find out until the end of this week but her manager is away this week so it was brought forward so that was a nice start to the bank holiday.

    Sw is going to confirm dates tomorrow for Stage 2 home study sessions which should be throughout May and first week of June, then panel will be August!

    It is good to get the first stage out of the way, feels like we are getting somewhere now. It is strange to think I could be on adoption leave before the end of the year although it could of course take a lot longer. I often wonder if our little one/s could already be out there now, or even yet been born! I am already standing in the spare room picturing it as a nursery, as I have done countless times over the years... could it finally be happening  ^pray^

    Offline tinkytoes

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    « Reply #32 on: 21/04/17, 12:37 »
    Brilliant news Bridget!!!

    Things will start moving now :)

    Best of luck with it all, I really enjoyed the home study and in a way miss it. Hope yours goes as well as ours did. xx

    Offline itsonlybridge

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    « Reply #33 on: 11/05/17, 14:39 »
    Thanks Tinkytoes  :)

    So we have now had our first two home study sessions this week to go through out childhoods, education and work. The write ups took some time and are going to be quite full on as we have a session with sw every week with a write up to be handed in a couple of days before each one! In addition, we have 3 pieces to write up in our words about particular life events and also our Pen picture which will summarize us as a couple to go with our profile picture. No pressure! lol

    I think we have finally agreed on a profile picture and managed to find one where neither of us is holding a glass of wine or a beer!  ;D

    SW said that DH presented himself well in his individual session and that a lot of men tend to give 'yes/no/don't know' answers, so that was encouraging to hear. She also said she could already see him doting on a little girl and that she could see she would definitely be a daddy's princess  :)

    So back to the coursework for now.. it's very interested reading back about yourself actually, quite therapeutic seeing yourself summarised in that way!

     



    We have a panel date for August so the end is in sight!

    Offline Fertilityhawk

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    Our new journey to become a family 2017
    « Reply #34 on: 12/05/17, 14:00 »
    Hi Bridget

    Sounds like you're making really great progress  :)  must seem so refreshing after the fertility treatment.

    I just wondered if you could enlighten me on what the pet assessment involved?  We have a springerdoodle who is 3 years old.  He absolutely adores children and would make a great companion.  The only thing that concerns me is that when we walk into our house he always picks up a shoe or sock that he likes to greet you with.  We think it's adorable, he never chews just carries them around in his mouth.  Would a SW be concerned about this and potentially picking up a childs toy instead of a shoe or sock?

    xxx

    Offline itsonlybridge

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    « Reply #35 on: 15/06/17, 15:37 »
    fertilityhawk The pet assessment is really not as bad as it sounds. .It is basically a questionnaire aimed mainly at dogs and asks general questions about their temperament and routine. It asks if the dog has a place it can go if it needs some space alone and how you deal with toileting in the garden. I honestly don't think they will have any issue with your labradoodle who sounds adorable! I would be inclined to just wait and see if he does the 'picking things up' thing when the social worker is there and let her bring it up if she wants a discussion about it but I wouldn't imagine it could be an issue that can't be worked around.. we have learnt that as long as there is a work around they are satisfied. Their issue is with dangerous breeds and you would not be allowed to adopt with some of those.. hope that helps  :)

     

    Offline itsonlybridge

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    « Reply #36 on: 15/06/17, 15:59 »
    The end of stage 2 is in sight!

    Well the last few months have actually gone really quickly! We have had our last sw home study session this week and she is now finalising our PAR which she will then send to us to approve.

    We have found the whole of stage 2 intense but not stressful. Our meetings have been weekly so the write ups have been a little under pressure but the actual meetings have been fine. We found it all quite therapeutic and have learnt quite a bit about ourselves. It was nice writing about our lives and discussing it with each other as well as sw. It has shown us patterns we weren't consciously aware of and helped us to see how events and life has shaped us into the people we are today. It also confirmed that our thinking is along the same wave length which can only be a good thing  :)

    I can't believe we finally agreed on a profile picture but we did and its submitted now, so that's that  :o

    We have so far been shown 3 short profiles of LO's which has been very different to how we imagined. We figured that it would either feel right or it wouldn't. This was the case for the first 2 who we felt weren't right for us straight away, however the 3rd was a shocker to the system.

    We are considering siblings (2) and we have specified 0-4 but ideally we would like one of them to be a baby. So on the off chance that we might be interested, sw showed us the short profile of 3 LO's ((gulp)) who were siblings needing to be placed together. They were older than we would like so when she first mentioned it we immediately thought that 3 was just too much to take on... but when we saw them oh my!!!! We absolutely fell in love at first sight, they were just adorable and their little characters were wonderful. As the day wore on, the doubts started creeping and there just became too many 'but's' for us to be able to commit to them. It was a very difficult decision but it had to be a no in the end... so the morale of this for us is that nothing is ever as simple as you first think it might be.  It has helped us realise that sometimes it might feel right initially but unless there are no 'but's' it just wouldn't be right in the long term and after all, this is a forever decision.

    I don't think I will ever forget those LO's and I do feel guilty that we can't give them the loving home that they deserve. I truly hope there is a family out there that is right for them.

    So we are now waiting to see the short profile of a LO sw feels might be right for us but we can't see for another few weeks until the placement order is granted. We are also being considered for an imminent F4A situation that is likely to be happening just after our panel date.

    This sure is going to be one heck of an emotional journey but we are feeling optimistic about meeting our future child/ren before long.
     


    Offline itsonlybridge

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    « Reply #37 on: 30/06/17, 16:02 »
    Well we finished reading through out finished PAR last night which was very emotional in parts. It is really well written so we are really pleased with it. It has now been submitted so that's done and we then have 2 final evening training courses next week before the wait to Panel.
     
    We recently been told about a relinquished LO due to be born soon. We don't have much information to make an informed decision but we have been put forward for consideration and if we are in the running then our panel date will be brought forward. There a couple of things that we are struggling with as the sex of the baby is unknown and the fathers details have not been disclosed so half of the LO's genetics and family history will be totally unknown. On the plus side, a relinquishment bypasses some of the usual processes albeit the BM does have 6 weeks within which she can completely change her mind and have the LO returned to her! :-\  Lot's to contemplate. It is sombering knowing we would meet the BM who is obviously going to be very emotional. She is also very young so I could see us wanting to take her home too!

    We have accepted that there is always going to be an amount of uncertainty with every situation we are presented with so we shall see how things pan out.

    We are feeling excited at the prospect that we might not be waiting too much longer to finally start our family, but anxious of the unknown.

    I've been busy reviewing certain outgoings and making changes in readiness for my eventual adoption leave and I have started having a sneaky look at nursery furniture, prams and car seats to get my head in the game and research the best makes and prices etc. I have a feeling that when it all finally happens, there won't be much time for thinking about it, we will just have to go and buy it!  :o

    Our family and close friends are all being so supportive and we have had a lot of offers of baby things. I have visions of them all standing at the ready with bags of baby clothes and equipment ready to rush round at a moments notice  ;D

    Well it is DH birthday this weekend so we are going to enjoy the celebrations and we shall see what the next few weeks bring!   :)


    Offline itsonlybridge

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    « Reply #38 on: 9/08/17, 18:44 »
    So today was approval panel and we got a YES!! Feeling very emotionally drained from today but very happy to finally be approved adopters for age range 0-4, siblings and also approved for F4A.

    So now the family finding begins which we are very excited about!

    It has been an interesting and quite therapeutic 6 month journey through the adoption process.. And hopefully we are now very close to meeting our forever family after almost 14 years of trying to get there xxx

    Offline Emma-is-a-mummy

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    « Reply #39 on: 11/08/17, 23:20 »
    Congratulations that's amazing news. Xx