* Author Topic: Simplant trial + ICSI 3...lucky transfer 4? BFP! MMC 11 weeks IMSI 4..Baby Boy!  (Read 24395 times)

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Offline MadameG

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21+6 :)

Panda is so, so wriggly! Yesterday I was feeling mahoosive kicks when I was on the sofa, so I wondered if I could actually see anything from the outside. I watched and this big lump appeared on the top of my bump, above my belly button, for a second! So amazing!!

My bump is having another growth spurt at the moment and the round ligament pain has intensified as a result. I'm having to be very careful with any twisting movements, particularly if I am lying down in bed. My back pain is so minimal though since I've had my new adjustable desk at work. I definitely needed to spend equal amounts of time sitting and standing. I'm extremely grateful to be working for a new, caring employer.

I am really suffering with hayfever at the moment, and the immune response is making me a bit worried when I get a hot flush. The fragmin leaflet says that antihistamines reduce the effect of it, plus the NHS website states that none are definitely safe in pregnancy...I think I'm going to speak to the pharmacist later today.

I've finally updated my insta account as I was too much of an anxious wreck to to upload photos in real time. If anyone wants to see an excess of bump pics, this is me: madameg.fertility

Keep on wriggling Panda pop, we love you so much 💜 xxxxxx


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    Offline MadameG

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    23+4 :)

    Creeping closer to that 24 week milestone...

    Had my midwife appointment yesterday and all was well. Urine clear and bp 120/74. Panda however was very unimpressed at being listened to and kept turning around and then kicking the doppler with some force! I think Iím growing a cheeky monkey.

    I have now got anti d declined on my notes as I donít want to give my body something else to deal with during pregnancy. DH is A- and I can have the cord blood(?) checked after birth in case Iím the statistic that manages to make a rhesus positive baby (if one of us is not truly negative).

    I was a bit spooked though as my midwife seemed to think that I would be likely to have a premature birth and sheíd be happy if I get to 30 weeks and ecstatic if I get to 32? I donít really get where that has come from. Iíll ask my consultant next week.

    We finished ordering all the main stuff last night - cotbed, mattress, car seat and travel cot for our room. Exciting to have those organised but makes me anxious at the same time. The nursery needs clearing of junk over the next couple of months and we will get an IKEA pax wardrobe for that room as well because they are so adaptable.

    My weight is now up to 63kg from my starting 58 post IVF weight. I was actually this weight a few weeks ago but for some reason I lost 1.5kg. I have been a bit more active and extra veg conscious, so perhaps there was some fat to lose. I have lots of stretch marks on my thighs and boobs now, I donít really care though. I am really tired again though so the midwife has suggested I take Spartone liquid iron rather than going straight for iron tablets. Iíve been getting breathless when climbing stairs so I think sheís right.

    Panda has been extremely active. New Ďgamesí include kick me hard when Iím on the loo  :o, rubbing some body part (Iím thinking a bum!) across the top of my womb which feels very odd and learning to elbow me too - those are sharp! The other day was somersault practice and those made me feel quite sick. My bump actually moves with the big acrobatics now. I love it  ;D

    I only get actually sick now if I push myself too much or get too hot, so Iím trying to be more sensible on my days off. DH is away this weekend so I am going to try and be lazy and just have it to myself.

    Time to get up and off to work, should be 12 weeks until I start maternity leave! Eeeek!!!!

    Keep on doing what youíre doing Panda pop, we love you so much 💜 xxxxxxxxxxxx

    Offline MadameG

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    27 :)

    Gosh itís been a while since I updated! Oops!

    Iím currently lying in bed with my big bump on my pregnancy pillow, being pummelled from the inside. I absolutely love the movements, although some are actually pretty uncomfortable/painful now! Pandaís Ďthingí this week is that every time I lean on something, Panda uses it for extra leverage to spring board off it. I had to go into work late on Thursday because I meant on the bathroom sink, Panda bounced off that with such force that they hit the back of the womb, sprung forward to the front and pressed so hard that I went to faint! Such a little tinker. Panda is also clearly starting to experiment with pressing either a head or limb against my cervix...and then having a good wriggle. Now that is pretty sore and feels very weird. Iíve had to shine my phone light down there to get Panda to wriggle back up! Other favourite moves are pushing toes and elbows into the very sensitive part right at the bottom of my bump  ;D.

    Panda likes music a lot and likes to have a dance. Current favourite is the Goldfrapp with Dave Gahan version of Ocean.

    Our hearts absolutely melted the other night as there was a little hand pressing hard against the right side of my bump. When we putting our fingers there, the little hand pressed back firmly against ours 😍 so special.

    Iím generally feeling well in myself. Iíve started getting very tired again during the days, so thank goodness that my work has finally sorted me out a camp bed to have a little rest on twice a day in a private room. The reflux is pretty awful, so got myself a bumper pack of Rennies the other day. Iím a little bit achy and my round ligaments get quite sore and spasm if Iím not careful in how I move. Skin seems to look pretty good now. Iíve had very slightly puffy ankles on some of the super hot days, but overall Iíve coped really well with the heat. I did buy a good tower fan for the nights though as it gets very stuffy upstairs.

    We had another episode of monitoring at the birth centre a couple of weeks ago, when Panda was having a quiet day. All fine. I still use my doppler some days to have a listen in. Panda likes trying to kick it away  ;D.

    Organisation wise, weíve sorted out all the big stuff now. Cot bed is due to arrive at the end of the month (Tutti Bambini Modena), we have a Nuna travel cot for our room instead of a Moses basket, the Nuna Rebl Plus car seat is already here and the Mutsy Nio pram should arrive end of August. I also ordered the Nuna Leav Grow and Stokke tripp trapp high chair this morning. Weíve spent too much but decided after waiting so long, weíre going to buy what we really want. Just need to decorate the room in the next month and then we can get the Pax wardrobe and little shelves from Ikea.

    Still need to decide on which reusable nappies to go for. If anyone has any recommendations, let me know! Main requirement is that they fit well and dry fast, as we have no sun in the garden October - March.

    I have my maternity leave organised now. I finish work on the 6th September, take three weeks holiday, then Iím off on maternity leave for twelve months! My bank account will be sad as I only get maternity allowance due to changing jobs but cíest la vie.

    It definitely feels like my due date is getting close now. I only have one more week of the second trimester and only twelve weeks until Iíll be induced! Eeeeeeek!!!! I have been getting a bit anxious about not having a what Iím doing, but Iíve been reading a very honest book called ĎFirst time parentí, which is very reassuring.

    Right, need to actually get some sleep now!

    Keep bopping away in there little one. Mummy and Papa love you so much 💜 xxxxxxxxzzzz

    Offline MadameG

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    30+3 :)

    Iím getting a bit slack with updating this diary!

    I canít quite believe that the number of weeks left is now into single figures :o

    DH is keeping a tally until the potential induction date at 39 weeks, so thatís just 59 days left eeeeeeeeeeek! Now that is surreal.

    I had my 4d scan at 28 weeks exactly. The little munchkin had spent the previous two days having a full on disco acrobatics session, then surprise surprise, Saturday was a very quiet day. Panda was lying on their back with their legs up in front of their face and feet tucked over the top of their head. What a position! We had three attempts at the scan but no amount of ice water, chocolate, music, skipping and star jumps would make them budge. I was flipping knackered though  ;D. Right at the very end, Panda twisted the legs a bit and we had a split second glimpse of a tiny face - all smooshy with chubby cheeks and a button nose 😍. Legs went straight back after. So we didnít get to see an amazing 4d scan with lots of movement but we did get a few slightly blurry pictures. And a very short video of what looks like Panda drinking amniotic fluid, so so cute.

    The sonographer was absolutely lovely and also checked all of the measurements and cord blood flow - that was absolutely fine. She also showed the blood flow around the heart and played the heartbeat for my Dad and sister, who looked absolutely mesmerised.

    Probably the best thing about the day was actually seeing lots of the staff from the clinic, who were all so excited for us :) I hadnít seen my consultant since about 7 weeks ish, so great to see her too. It was also interesting for my family to see where we have been going over to all these years and they were impressed by the kind, calm vibe in there.

    The day after that, Panda was even more quiet and I got it into my head that some damage could have been caused by all the prodding, poking and star jumps. The afternoon was particularly quiet so around 8pm we headed off to the birth centre for monitoring. When we arrived, the midwife said that Panda was head down (for once) and partially engaged. When I went to pee, Panda immediately swivelled back to their usual traverse position and went on a kicking mission  ::) That was the first time Iíve ever been on the proper CTG monitor and it was cool to see the heart trace over 20 minutes with the required accelerations and also the movements being recorded. At first Panda had hiccups. Iíve never know what that felt like, I had assumed it was my muscles twitching! At this point Panda was leaning all the way at the front so each hiccup made my bump jump up, one of the cutest things Iíve ever seen. Once the hiccups stopped, I had to press a button every time I felt a movement and that then gets recorded on the graph. I felt the majority of the movements that the monitor recorded.

    The midwife was absolutely lovely and so reassuring. Definitely a massive weight off my mind, I felt silly to have felt anxious all day rather than going in earlier. Itís hard to find the balance as I was still feeling small movements just not the typical amount. My consultant says that reduced movements are like looking for a needle in a hay stack, as most of the time itís fine but there can be one lady that slips through, hence why itís always best to get checked if you have any concerns. Sound advice I think.

    I asked for the results of my iron tests when we were there and it turns out that my iron and ferritin levels had dropped considerably, so I was prescribed iron tablets. I donít think Iím absorbing them particularly well as I am still exhausted. They havenít upset my tummy at all though, even on two a day, just made my movements a bit black  ::).

    I had my consultant appointment and growth scan at 28+3. I was pretty confident that the sonographer at the 4d scan had overestimated the growth, as Panda was measuring two weeks ahead there. Nope! The growth scan said the same, with a bit of extra growth to match versus 3 days earlier! Panda is sitting on the 97th centile overall....as in, right at the top of the graph. The weight was already 1.5kg :o.

    So the current plan is that I will be induced at 39 weeks, I can labour in water and then get out and deliver on dry land Ďjust in caseí. Iím happy with that compromise. If, however, Pandaís growth goes off the graph, I may have to consider a c section. Iím not stressing about it though because it is completely out of my control and we will cross the bridges as they come.

    I have been sent for a glucose tolerance test though, which is where I am now, typing in between blood tests. The drink wasnít that bad actually, just a bit like liquid lime jelly that hasnít been diluted enough. My consultant doesnít think I have gestational diabetes as the baby is big everywhere, rather than just having a big abdomen, which is the typical presentation. If I do, then itíll just be something else to manage and I havenít got a huge number of weeks left in any case.

    Something that I have started is Aquanatal classes. They are held in a warmish hydrotherapy pool at a special needs school and the room is dimly lit with rope fairy lights. Itís such a calm environment and the classes are very relaxing. Itís all based around gently building strength in your core muscles, pelvic floor and learning to breath for labour. When I was sat in the changing room waiting for the first class, it suddenly hit me that I am having a baby. Wow. Last week though the anxieties all came back and I felt like a complete fraud amongst the bumps, even though mine is bigger than the ladies at almost full term. Panda kicking away throughout the class made me calmer and afterwards, I found out that one lady was carrying an IVF baby and the very confident twin bump mum was actually under the same consultant as me after many losses. Turns out they were human after all.

    I do find that away from the safety of the rec mc consultant, I feel uncomfortable in the Ďnormalí pregnancy production line. Everyone immediately asks Ďfirst baby?í. I answer hopefully yes, but not my first pregnancy. I am going to put a post it note on the front of my maternity notes asking them to look inside first, as every time I am asked that question, it takes me straight back to all the losses. Itís not something that I want to repeatedly discuss on the big day, thatís for sure.

    Last night we also started Antenatal classes! Super surreal moment. I initially wanted to do the NCT route, but I dithered on booking them as they cost around £300(!) and I was too nervous to actually press book. When I came to book it properly a couple of weeks ago, all of the spaces on relevant courses near us had gone. I booked onto the free antenatal day via our birth centre but the only space left is when I am 36+6, over an hour away from where we live (even further than the hospital). I felt really panicked as I felt I was heading towards the birth with no knowledge at all.

    I did a lot of googling and discovered that a very experienced Doula runs a four evening antenatal course in her own home for a maximum of four couples at a time, plus an extra pre birth babycare morning, for £150. We went to the first one yesterday and due to some couples rearranging their dates/early births, there is just us and another couple. Like us, they have experienced loss, are consultant lead and are expecting an IVF baby. The two and a half hour session was brilliant as we talked about all of our feelings surrounding birth (we all said that we had buried our heads in the sand as we had tried not to get too excited, but now it is getting rather close), went through the physiological side and the stages/timings/signs of labour.

    The hormone side was really interesting as it is all driven by oxytocin - the lurve hormone - and biologically we need to feel safe and loved for our bodies to naturally give birth. We talked a lot about how to build the physical environment to what we personally need to feel safe (for me itís dim light, calm voices, water and fairy lights) and loved (my reassuring husband). If we become afraid, then adrenaline takes over and this can stop contractions and any progression. We need to learn to get into our safe little bubble and stay there, plus how to manage it if things (invariably) donít go to plan.

    DH got a lot out of the session and he said that so much had changed since his sons were born. At that time (23 years ago!), she was supposed to stay on the bed, on her back and wasnít allowed anything to eat or drink, at all! He felt really positive that he actually has an important role as a birth partner and that this time, every labour stage doesnít have to be about panic and rushing around at 90 miles an hour. He is there to be my advocate and to let people know what I need when I canít.

    Probably the most exciting thing is that my dad has been up to paint the nursery for us! Eek! We need to do another coat of paint on the skirting boards and then itís time to assemble everything. I had a big Ikea delivery coming on Saturday and Iím expecting the cot imminently. I really never thought we would be here.

    So back to now, Iíve got to go and have my second blood test in half an hour, which I am going to follow with my lunch/breakfast, as I am blooming starving. Iím on holiday for two weeks and then I have three weeks back at work until maternity leave! I need to do my maternity allowance claim and also pack my hospital bag. I have had my reusable nappies delivered which are soooo cute (whilst theyíre clean  ;D), we went for a mix of Alva baby and Milovia pockets of anyone else is debating what to choose. I do need to get some more bras again, as mine are just too tight but I am trying to hold out until closer to delivery. Oh also at 29 weeks I noticed I was starting to produce yellow colostrum! Very excited to see my body getting ready. Tonight I have Aquanatal and on Friday I have the midwife.

    My darling Panda, keep on somersaulting away in there. Even though sometimes itís pretty uncomfortable and even painful, I absolutely love the feeling, as does Papa whoís voice you always react to. You need to grow in there for a couple more months but I am so excited to have you in my arms. I can feel that you have hiccups again as I type. Love you so much wriggle bum 💜xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Offline MadameG

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    37 weeks 😊

    Where exactly did the last month go?!

    Last time I wrote I was in the middle of my oral glucose tolerance test (GTT), which annoyingly came back positive. I had a lovely 4.1 (I think) on the fasting test and then an 8.1 after the two hours, when the cut off was 7.8.

    I was quite upset initially as I had just got to the point where I was really enjoying my pregnancy and the diagnosis just reignited my anxiety all over again. Especially once I read just how serious the complications can be... Iíve been monitoring my bloods ever since and tweaked my carb intake straight away. I havenít had any high readings whatsoever but I also havenít really pushed it just in case. I am pretty sick of babybels, peanut butter and pepperami and am desperate to eat a big fruit salad with lots of melon, but not long to go now.

    Especially as I am being induced IN ONE WEEK 🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀!!!!!!!!!

    I was always going to be induced at 39 weeks, but it has been brought forward to 38 as GD increases the risk. To be honest I am ready, as I am pretty darn uncomfortable now and desperate to meet our (not so little) Panda pop. My bump has finally dropped, literally overnight. One day I couldnít do up one of my bras by about 6Ē then the next I could! This has thankfully taken the pressure off my lungs as I was really struggling to breathe and the rib pain was really intense.

    Stairs are hard work now as Panda is literally in the way and I have to left my legs up onto the sofa with my hands. My most comfy seat is now my birthing ball!

    Anyway off for a sweep now with the midwife - eek!!

    37+6 weeks :)

    So sweep one was unsuccessful as my cervix was too far back. And so was sweep two. Sweep three was earlier this evening. The first two attempts were tolerable but this was pretty painful. I have been really uncomfortable all day as Panda feels really low down now and my pelvis is very sore. So midwife attempted it, said the cervix was still too far back and she could only just reach it. I asked her to check if Panda was engaged after and when she pressed down through my skin, I felt a little trickle.

    Checked my underwear and there was a beigy stain there. I was sent off too lie down for 45 minutes and then given the speculum check. She isnít certain either way, but thinks it might be the start of a show as there was a lot of pinky mucus. DH could see (he has no qualms!) and said that I looked obviously wet down there.

    Heading home now but have to call the delivery suite if I think I am leaking still in the next few hours. Iím already booked for induction tomorrow 🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀

    Looks like tomorrow might be a bit of an eventful day!

    Have stopped at the supermarket and sent DH to get GD friendly stuff to snack on as food at the hospital might be challenging.

    I decided to have some protein porridge this morning so spike tested it. Straight up to 8 (my target is not to go over 7.8 after two hours, NICE guidelines are 6.4) after just 15 minutes. Immediately chucked some clothes on and took the dogs for a morning walk to bring the numbers down. Thatís my first over target reading 🙄.

    Hmmmmm.....feeling a bit crampy now......

    Love you little Panda pop! 💜 Xxxxxxxxx

    Offline MadameG

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    4 days old  :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

    Our beautiful baby boy Panda was born at 9.54pm on Tuesday 2nd October weighing 7lb 2oz.

    Completely in love, amazement and disbelief. I cannot believe that he is here and that he is ours!!

    Worth every injection and the years of heartache. Lucky pregnancy number 9 for us.

    Keep chasing that rainbow ladies 💜🌈💜

    I will update soon with the birth story - it wasnít plain sailing  :-[ - but I have some photos here if anyone would like a peek:


    I canít believe that I am an Earth mummy at last!!!!!!! 💜