* Author Topic: The life of a full time working mumma to a miracle boy 💙  (Read 30374 times)

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Offline Bubbles12

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Dear Diary

I physically cant stop eating crap! I will be having my transfer in around 5-6 weeks and i just cant stop. Everyday i promise to be good, everyday i break that promise 😫. I have a stone to lose.
Im not sure thats achievable to lose by transfer ☹
But, tomorrow is another day i guess.

Boobs are sore. Seems to be a new post ovulation symptom i have.
I should start buserelin in less than 2 weeks


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    Offline Bubbles12

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    Dear Diary

    Im losing the will to live. Our office has had a desk move, we do this every 6 months or so. Now, im probably one of the louder ones of the team, get on with everyone and im one that is always cold. However, my boss has stuck me right next to the window, and sat me next to the quietest people, one to my left and one behind me. Ive never felt so depressed. Its jtterly boring. I can hear all my colleagues having a giggle and decent conversations across the room. Ive never detested coming to work so much as i do right now and we swapped barely a week ago.

    Other news, workwise, i have been granted my flexy working, just waiting for it to be put in writing. Im guessing i will have to nag a little for this. Im nervous as the manager that was all for me having it, has just been told he is being made redundant, so i NEED this in writing before he leaves.

    DS is doing well, his behaviour has really improved lately and im proud. Ive promised him the cinema if he manages another good week but so far, hasnt cracked it (on the 2nd week of trying)
    I had to go for a meeting at his current school to go through my reasons why i wish him to move school, she did an excellent job of making me feel crap and that im making the wrong decisions!

    Hopefully AF should be here this time next week.

    X

    Offline Bubbles12

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    Dear Diary

    Never have i ever...... had tonsillitis... until now!

    Ouch! Its horrendous. Ive been really poorly all wkend and we had to go to the panto. Having no emergy, and struggling to swallow, it was the last place i wanted to be.
    However DS loved it. He hasnt got the greatest concentration span so by the 2nd half, he was asking to go home. Luckily, there was enough dancing and singing to keep him interested.

    So treatment wise, im still waiting to come on my period, i am expecting this on Thursday.
    Its so hard to try and plan, or work out when transfer will be but i think ive narrowed it down to either the last friday of feb or the first friday of March.
    Praying for the 1st friday of March, works loads better for me.

    Offline Bubbles12

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    Dear diary

    Tonsillitis had nearly gone but has left me with a weird cold. No symptoms apart from being bunged up. Im using sudafed, pretty regular.

    I came on my period last night. My cycles have shifted the past 2 periods. They have both been 56 days long amd where i normally come on at a wkend, now its mid week.
    Weird.
    Anyway, so i start sniffing tomorrow. Which im worried about as im still needing sudafed to unblock my nose.
    I have booked in for my scan on Feb 13th, so 2 weeks tomorrow.
    Hopefully, all will run smoothly but i have no idea whether transfer will be last week of Feb, or start of March. I hate not knowing!

    Offline Bubbles12

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    Jeez..... hot flushes cant have started already....
    Im only 2 sniffs in....

    Offline Bubbles12

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    Dear Diary

    Day 4 of the sniff.

    No major symptoms. Left ovary twinge. It was constant on day 2, not so much anymore. Random hot flushes, so random, and not regular that i question if it is a hot flush due to the meds, or im just hot.

    My normal period lasts 5 days. I came on tuesday night, i was off again by Friday morning so im guessing the Buserelin has halted it. I should then have a withdrawal bleed at some point this week. My understanding is that i will have a scan on 13th, and if my lining is thin, i will start the Progynova. I should be on that for at least 12 days. Once my lining is thick enough, i will then be booked in for transfer. 🤞 it will be for the start of March!

    Lost 6lbs on my first week of SW, i was pretty chuffed with that. I went for a chinese all you can eat (pre arranged) i didnt eat all that much, i mean, enough to do damage on the scales but i probably ate the least out of 14 of us. Back on it today.
    I want to be the weight i have been for my last 2 transfers. So on the scales last week, i had 1 stone 2lbs to lose, now only 10lbs. Its doable... but means i have to be good.

    Off to take DS to the cinema today to watch Paw Patrol (good job its only 48 mins long!)

    Offline Bubbles12

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    Dear Diary

    Im on day 6 of sniffing and no symptoms at all. My reminder went off at 12 for my next dose then i went for my break, half way through, i realised i hadnt had any, or did i!? I honestly couldnt remember if i had it or not, so sniffed again anyway 😬
    Im spotting, but ive been spotting since i came off so not sure if period is coming or now 🤷🏻‍♀️
    I had a phone call today from the recurrent miscarriage clinic to tell me that mine and husbands Kyrotyping came back normal. So i have no idea why i keep miscarrying. I was hoping for them to find something, so we could prevent it from happening again. The good thing is that any subsequent pregnancy i may have (the professor is VERY confident i will get pregnant again, im not so sure) i will get scans at 6,8 and 10 weeks. This is not obviously to prevent a miscarriage, but more to put our minds at ease and not to be in dark of what may or may not be happening in there.

    I must admit, im struggling today. A memory came up on my social media of my bump with DS, then i come to work and my colleague who is 20 wks pregnant has a lovely little bump coming on, just reminded me that i should be about 16 weeks now... im not and im sad. Such a rollercoaster, 1 day im fine, the next, im upset...
    Its utter crap!

    Offline Bubbles12

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    Dear Diary

    Day 11 of sniffing...

    Something is happening...

    I think...

    Im definitely having symptoms of the nasal spray as i reach the end of the 1st bottle.
    Regular hot flushes, some last for seconds... others minutes... or 10!
    Im so worked up. It really doesnt take much for me to get in some sort of a rage. I feel bad for my husband and DS... more so DS. Im not sure this is fair on him... going through all this, and him sometimes bearing the brunt of my non existent patience levels. Husband, im fine with, he understands the reasons behind it (although, forgets.... alot) but poor DS is only 4... i will continue to bite my tongue as much as possible.

    So all day, my tummy has been weird. If i was on my period, id say they were period cramps... so it could be that AF is coming. I normally get my cramps aftet the bleed starts, but perhaps due to the meds, this is being bum about face?

    Ideally, i need to come on before tues/weds or at my baseline scan, my lining will still be thick....

    Come on AF! Hurry the hell up!!!

    Offline Bubbles12

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    Dear diary

    Day 12 of sniffing...

    And.....

    Nothing 😫

    I called the clinic today to tell them i still havent come on. She told me some women it takes up to 2 weeks to bleed. They still want me to come in for a scan on Thursday as planned to see what is going on. She said the doc may give me something to bring on a bleed...
    Well, i asked her first if they could give me something to bring on a bleed and she said no, that the meds i was already on do that... but then when i asked will this cycle be cancelled, she replied 'No, not necessarily, the doctor will decide but he may give you something to bring a bleed on'..... Ok, im confused!

    I really dont want this cycle to be cancelled... im struggling with the 'want' to keep doing this.. only because of how ratty i am being with this nasal spray... im just evil...


    Come on period... show you ugly mush!

    Offline Bubbles12

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    Dear Diary

    I do wonder you know if its all pointless, me and OH keep doing this, keep trying. Will i ever be that lucky again to have another pregnancy, another baby.
    I just cant see it. Then, i could never see me being a mum at all.

    I really want another baby. My heart really wants another. Sometimes my head says different. With DS being nearly 5 now, the hardest part is done... the childcare fees, the milestones. I would say sleepless nights, but we are noy quite done with them yet... DS still gets me up numerous times a night, around 3-4 nights a week. Shocking!

    But then i think about the scans, the bump, the birth and more importantly, how DS will be with a little sibling... my heart wins

    Plus we have 3 top quality embryos frozen, how could i just close the door on them?.

    Anyway, i went for my scan today, fully expecting them to tell me to come back in a week after forcing a bleed. But my lining is 3.5mm and the nurse said that is thin enough for me to start Progynova. She said sometimes starting on day 2, and not having regular cycles (even though i do) sometimes means you dont get a withdrawal bleed 🤷🏻‍♀️. Im not entirely sure i believe her. Ive seen her about the clinic for the last year or so but i think she is pretty new at doing scans as she was having to run everything by another nurse.
    So, anyway, i started Progynova today. I have a scan booked for Monday 24th.
    The clinic are being pretty vague on a transfer date, all she said was that it  should be at the start of March 🤷🏻‍♀️.
    Ive said the dates i want the transfer, either 4th or the 6th.
    Im guessing i will know on the 24th!

    X