* Author Topic: The life of a full time working mumma to a miracle boy 💙  (Read 38185 times)

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Offline Bubbles12

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Dear Diary

1DP5DT

Oh lordy... isnt it hot! Im sitting in the living room with just pants and a old maternity vest top! I dread sleeping in this later!

Consultant emailed this

"I just received progesterone blood level & it is 27.9

As I explained to you yesterday; few research papers showed that progesterone level of equal to or more than 30 is in favour of embryo implantation. Nevertheless; more research is still required and this is the reason that I am undertaking research in CRM to assess progesterone level & to look at success of FET

Based on this you may start the use of Lubion injection as 25mg/ subcutaneous injection/ once daily till end of the 3rd month of the pregnancy"

So,ive googled the hell out of it and havent found much other than studies which all seem complicated to read.
I asked on a few social media IVF pages and they all sounded positive... that its on the lower side but as my consultant has allowed me to have Lubion, then im still very much in the game. I really hope i am.
Im still hopeful though and although in reality it probably has knocked my confidence slightly, im not going to let it get to me.

What will be will be and ive done all i can.

Symptom wise, ovary twinges, slight cramping and ever so slight bloating but his is very much down to the pessaries as its too early for it to be anything else.

Come on embies.... Stick for me  ^pray^


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    Offline Bubbles12

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    Dear Diary

    2DP5DT

    I think i was deluding myself when i thought all would be ok if this didnt work...

    I was wrong....

    I really want this 😕

    Negative Nancy has her foot in the door.....


    Offline Bubbles12

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    Dear Diary

    3DP5DT

    Woke up feeling pretty negative about the outcome, how can i have done a complete U turn?

    Darn you progesterone!

    That said, we are currently driving to Bournemouth for a few days and the whole journey so far, ive been cramping and pains at the tops of my legs. Im hoping this is a sign that my progesterone levels are rising a bit!

    Fingers crossed the sea air has some magic or if nothing else, takes my mind off things

    X

    Offline Bubbles12

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     Dear Diary

    4DP5DT

    im waiting for DS and OH to wake up in our B&B so thought i would update my diary

    So yesterday, for most of the day, i was cramping and bloated, id say 75% of the day.

    I have no idea at all where i stand in this. Its so confusing.
    I have no sore boobs at all and its this that makes me feel it hasnt worked...
    However, whenever i have my period, i always know its coming because i get sore boobs the week before.. and as im on progesterone, cyclogest and Lubion... my levels must be alot higher than when im naturally about to start my period, so why are the not sore? Its completely baffling me.

    What am i going to do if this doesnt work... there is no more..
    How am i going to accept that this is over and i will never have any more children when i desperately want more?

    Luckily being away is taking my mind off it. We go home tomorrow and i must stay away from those pee sticks!

    I was so positive at the start.... im really not know.. yesterday was comforting with the cramping.. i wonder what today will bring.

    Offline Bubbles12

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    Dear Diary

    5DP5DT

    Yesterday brought nothing. No cramping, no bloating. I felt completely normal.
    We had a nice day, went to the aquarium in the morning the crabbing in the arvo (didnt catch anything).

    Yeaterday was a really negative day. I even had 2 glasses of wine as i was/am convinced this hasnt worked.
    I popped into Boots, seen the pregnancy tests... thought should i??? I didnt. Im a little proud.

    Today, we are on our way home.im super tired today, ive been tired all week but today i feel more tired but i think its down to progesterone and that we are travelling home.
    A few cramps and ovary twinges this morning.

    My boobs couldnt be less sore if they tried... they feel completely normal... its so baffling.

    I feel a little better about this today but it wouldnt surprise me if its a BFN.

    I want this so bad.

    X

    Offline Bubbles12

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    Cont....

    So, ive been naughty and secretly bought pregnancy tests.
    Ive brought 2 FRER's and some of boots cheapies (pink dye ones) I dont know why i have. I still dont have any intention of using them... not as of yet.

    At the same time of buying these, i bought some tampons... utter confusing eh! Unfortunately for me, i think i will be using both of these purchases in the next week 😒.

    I know its not over yet, but in gutted. This is our last ever go at this and im so sad, sad for me and sad for DS, just thinking about this makes me tearful. I wanted to make him a big brother so much

    Ive been googling alot about low progesterone and if you can still get pregnant... turns out you can.. i still wont hold my breath... 😔

    I also emailed my consultant (he must be sick of me) amd asked if there was a possibility that i have another blood test or up my dosage.. or are we doing this all in vain?
    I havent had a reply yet.

    X

    Offline Bubbles12

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    Dear Diary

    7DP5DT

    I never dud get a reply... how bad is that? So i upped my own progesterone. Ive added another pessary in mid afternoon. Considering my levels were on the lower side, and the fact i still dont have sore boobs, it cant do any harm.

    So, on the night we came back from our trip, so would have been 5DP5DT i ended up going to bed early as i was upset and wanted to be on my own. I just laid there and cried for a while. I kept thinking how ive failed my boy because i cant give him a little sibling. This was my last chance and as much as i never wanted to cycle again, i want to now but i know we cant. Its not fair on DS that we keep throwing money at this, its not fair on DH because of his age and he would have to undertake another operation (SSR) So the realisation that this is really over is hitting harder than i ever thought it would.

    Im so proud of myself that i havent tested. My 1st 2 cycles i tested at 8DP, so i just need to get through tomorrow. I definitely wont test tomorrow as im working (from home) and i dont want it to affect work. I then have a week off after tomorrow so i can come to terms with the result then.
    Only thing is, i dont like to be around people when im upset, but being the 6 weeks holiday, i will have DS here so will have to mask my sadness.

    Symptoms wise, so baffling.. i worry that i dont have enough progesterone yet my symptoms are likely going to be down to that...

    X

     

    Offline Bubbles12

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    Dear Diary

    9DP5DT

    Last day of being in the PUPO bubble. Im so proud of myself for not testing, although, i think the reason ive not tested is because im simply too scared for the reality.

    I know the chances of this working are against me.
    Ive always wanted to do a test to find out its a BFN than to go to the loo and find AF has arrived, but now its a high possibility of a BFN, if this hasnt worked, i want nothing more than my period to start.

    Im just too scared to test.

    Im now swaying to doing the test tomorrow afternoon. Its DS's friends birthday and we have been invited for a socially distanced tea and cake date. The parents know i was going to be cycling soon, i dont want to find it hasnt worked, then to paint a smile on, and endure the questions.... Although, the cake would be good.

    X

    Offline Bubbles12

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    Cont....

    It got to the point this morning that i just thought, why am i prolonging this. By this point, if i was pregnant, it would show and if i wasnt... then it wouldnt so why was i delaying it. The sooner i knew, the quicker i could process it.

    DH was well up for testing which shocked me.
    I just couldnt bring myself to look at the tests (i did 2, a boots one and FRER)

    Well, i did...

    And i am....!


    I AM PREGNANT!!!

    To be honest, ive felt off for the last few days, icky feeling and off certain foods, i put it down to everything other than being pregnant.

    The lines are pretty strong too for the time im testing so im really really happy 😃

    Offline Bubbles12

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    Dear Diary

    10dp5dt - 4 + 1 weeks pregnant

    Still in disbelief. I didnt sleep well last night so may go back for a little nap when OH and DS get up.

    Ive done more tests this morning, i was shaking, its still in the forefront of my mind about a chemical pregnancy, not because im having signs it is, but just because of my history.
    So the FRER came up pretty much the same as yesterdays, i noticed my urine wasnt as concentrated as the sample yesterday and i also noticed that the control line isnt really dark so i dont think there is a whole lot of dye in the test.
    I also did a CB digital and to my surprise, it came up 2-3 weeks. I was expecting 1-2.

    So as today stands, im pregnant.

    My boobs are ever so slightly tender. Im cramping on and off. I didnt feel as icky yesterday.

    We have told our immediate family and close friends as they all knew about the treatment. They are all saying its twins because we transferred 2, to be honest, im not worrying about that at the minute, i just need to hope this is a viable pregnancy.

    Im lucky in a way as because i am under the recurrent miscarriage team, i get reassurance scans at 6, 8 and 10 weeks. Only thing is, ive lost the card they gave me to book a scan as soon as i found out i was pregnant so will have to call the clinic tomorrow and see if they have it.

    The other thing is that i will be on a weeks holiday in Devon when im 6 weeks, so im hoping they may scan me the day earlier, if not, thats ok..

    X