* Author Topic: The life of a full time working mumma to a miracle boy 💙  (Read 38514 times)

0 Members

Offline Bubbles12

  • VIP Member Sponsor
  • *
Dear Diary

5 Weeks and 5 Days pregnant (still)

I was really nervous.
The clinic were nearly not going to scan me but as id had a bleed, i think they took pity on me.

It wasnt the nicest scan ive had, the woman scanning me is very to the point.
Straight away she saw the pregnancy sac and yolk sac, my heart sank, i thought great, there is no progression. Then she showed me and i could see the foetal pole! I asked her if this was and she told me it was tissue! What!
I waited then challenged again and said 'im sorry but that really looks like a foetal pole' she replied 'It more than likely is, but without a heartbeat, i cant confirm'. But yet still measured the foetal pole's CRL???

A few more comments were made like to make sure whilst on holiday that im near an EPU. I asked her if i get a heartbeat at my next scan with Tommy's, should i let them know. She asked what was my longest pregnancy where i miscarried, i told her 9wks ish.. she said ok, dont let us know anything then until 11 week!
Talk about a confidence boost!


So, i came out of there happy. Ive scrapped all the negativity that she gave me. This pregnancy has progressed, yes there is no heartbeat but its slightly early, i didnt get one with DS at 5+5.

So, baby is measuring 4.2mm and is bang on 5w6d.

Dont get me wrong, im not out of the woods, i know this. I know that this could still end in a way i reallt dont want too, however, im thankful for some reassurance that me and baby are still in with a chance.

Fingers crossed!


FertilityFriends

  • Advertisement
  • ***

    Offline Bubbles12

    • VIP Member Sponsor
    • *
    Dear Diary

    6 Weeks and 5 Days pregnant

    We have been on holiday in Devon since late saturday night. We were meant to go on Sunday, however, i had another little bleed on Saturday morning amd the friend that owns the caravan said we could have it early. So we did.
    Weather hasnt been too great, its actually causing us to come home early. We plan on leaving this evening.
    Its been nice but DS has been challenging. My friend who we have rented the caravan from was DS's childminder so she had him all day tuesday and all night. It was the 1st 24hrs off me and OH have had since DS has been born. It was lovely.
    Missed DS though!

    So, as for the bleeding, im still spotting brown blood. It feels wrong wearing a towel when you are nearly 7 weeks pregnant. I do wish it would stop.
    However, whilst its minimal and brown, im not overly concerned, however, i am anxious that this could easily turn into a bigger bleed at any point.

    When i realised i was bleeding again on saturday, without really thinking it through, i booked a private scan for friday where i will be 6+6. I already have one booked for the 4th (i will be 7+6) by then so i am somewhat regretting this up and coming scan.
    My thoughts are in 1 breath that it will put my mind at ease if there is a heartbeat and after how negative the nurse was last week, it will be nice for my mind to be eased for a short while. Plus, if it is bad news, then the earlier i know, the better right?
    But, on the flip... not knowing also sounded appealing. Its my birthday on Sunday so if the scan doesnt go well, my birthday will be ruined. (Not that we are doing much anyway) and ive managed a week, so another one wont hurt.
    I will loose my deposit (only 30) if i cancel. And this is the only scan OH would be able to go too... so i really dont know..
    Yesterday, i had barely any cramping or bloatingand i was mostly airing on the side of canceling... however, this morning, im crampy and twingy and its making me think i should just go and find out what is going on.
    Im honestly petrified. This is it, i lose this baby, ive lost all chances and hope of DS having a little sibling. Its heartbreaking.

    Symptom wise, i feel ok. Some foods after eating myake me feel icky, or i will enjoy whilst eating but the thought of them afterwards, makes me want to vom.
    Sore boobs consistently, some days worse than others.
    Havent felt that tired this time, although ive had cat naps here and there whilst away.
    Bloating comes and goes and im finding im having to undo the top buttom of trousers after eating if im in thr car.
    My skin is pretty clear at the mo and feels soft.

    I have potentially 5 loooooooong weeks yet before my 12 week scan...  it sure is dragging!!

    Please please please be hanging on in there baby!!

    Offline Bubbles12

    • VIP Member Sponsor
    • *
    Dear Diary

    6 Weeks and 6 Days pregnant

    DS woke me in the night to put his quilt on, i realised i was bleeding again. Like the last time on saturday, it 'seems' to be a quick and isolated bleed. It wasnt bright red either, a dark red but fresher than it has been.
    I didnt have any cramps with it through the night. But ive woke up this morning crampy again, and a stomach stitch type feeling and my boobs are barely tender.

    I cant see how im going to get good news later on the scan. Im just not confident at all and the thought of it all makes me feel ill.
    Being on constant knicker watch is draining and the past 2 days, i was starting to relax but now, i just want to check all the time. Luckily (touch wood) its gone brown pretty quickly (from the last time i checked, be it 10 mins ago)
    Scan is at half 5, i have no doubt that we are going and if it is bad news, then so be it.

    🤞

    Offline Bubbles12

    • VIP Member Sponsor
    • *
    Dear Diary

    Cont......

    We saw a beautiful flickering heartbeat ❤. Me and OH both cried. Such a relief!

    Baby is measuring at 8.2mm and at 6w5d.

    Im so happy.

    ❤❤

    Offline Bubbles12

    • VIP Member Sponsor
    • *
    Dear Diary

    8 Weeks Pregnant

    I have my 1st scan at the recurrent miscarriage clinic yesterday and all went well. Baby has grown loads. The quality of the scanning machine was pretty poor so the picture I got didn't really show OH anything but they did let me take a video which he liked.
    Baby is measuring a day ahead now, last scan he was measuring a day behind and the heartbeat was estimated at 116 BPM, which is within the normal range.

    I have another scan booked for the 18th, which is a little under 2 weeks away and I should be 9+6 Weeks. This will be the longest wait between scans so far which im nervous about but I cant keep having scans all the while. Im so scared I will go and there is no heartbeat or no growth or something... Scary

    Symptoms wise, Boobs are still sore and I still have lots of food aversions. All I am consistently wanting is takeaway (Im not eating them) but I want to.
    Cramping on and off throughout everyday and get bloated on and off too. I don't really feel tired, well I do, but only because I keep waking at 5am every morning!

    Touch wood and dare I jinx it but the bleeding seems to have stopped as from yesterday. I just pray it stays away. Im still on constant knicker watch though and probably will be throughout.

    DS started school on Thursday so Wednesday night was like being a kid at Christmas for me. Im not going to lie, These past 6 months have been bloody tough and as much as I love DS... we were both getting on each others nerves and his behaviour has been horrendous. Of course I am worried about Covid but we have to send them back and I may as well embrace it and look forward to it! He was very excited and is disappointed that its the weekend so soon.

    We booked a trip to LEGOLAND for 2 days for DS birthday but it got cancelled due to Covid and it was rebooked for September. Its coming up soon and ive decided its best I don't go. I wont be able to go on any of the rides and as im still at risk of more bleeding, I worry the walking around could antagonise bleed. So DS's older brother is going in my place. I get 2 days peace  :) 

    Midwife booking app is on friday


    Offline Bubbles12

    • VIP Member Sponsor
    • *
    Dear Diary

    8 Weeks and 1 Day Pregnant

    Over the past 2-3 days I seemed to have bloated out a bit. Im aware that as baby is only the size of a grape, that this roundness I have isn't baby, its pure baby bloat. I feel huge. In some ways I like it as my body is visibly now changing, I don't look pregnant, unless you know I am.. I just look fat, well, fatter. Ive always had a belly on me which got worse from having DS. But its been very uncomfortable for me to wear my jeans with the button fastened. Its a good job im still working from home.

    I have days where im feeling icky, today being one of them. I didn't really have MS with DS. Only right at the beginning which was bought on only if I ate/drank something sweet. This time, it just comes on. No warning, no pattern. I could have days where I feel fine but then like today an hour after lunch and I feel sick. I love it though, all positive signs.

    Me and OH laid in bed last night talking about baby names. Its clear we are going to have another boy (Positivity talking here) as we again don't agree on any names. We could be getting slightly ahead of ourselves slightly, but I sway from not getting too excited, to thinking screw it, this is our last time of being pregnant and should enjoy it for however long it lasts.

    We have also decided to have a gender reveal party this time, Im not feeling a baby shower but a gender reveal sounds nice. By my working out, it should be around the 1st week of November when we shall be 16 weeks but that all depends on the 12 week dating scan.

    X

    Offline Bubbles12

    • VIP Member Sponsor
    • *
    Dear Diary

    8 Weeks and 4 Days Pregnant

    The days are dragging. It still feels ages until my next scan.
    I went shopping today for DS, get him warmer clothed ready for the autumn, i popped into H&M knowing they have a maternity section. It was messy which always puts me off looking. It was expensive as well. I managed to pick a pair of maternity jeans and a maternity top but then, swiftly reminded myself that i was getting carried away, not to tempt fate and i put them back. I will just wait until ive had my 12 week scan. Working from home means i can wait. Im by no means showing, but jeans are tight and when im home or driving, they are never done up.

    A friend that is also pregnant had a gender scan yesterday, she is having a gender reveal party on Saturday, however, i called her this morning and told her i now no longer can come due to the new guidelines that are coming back in place. I just don't want to risk anything and as there are currently 30 people going, thats too many people for me and id rather watch it on social media knowing im keepinh me and my family safe.

     3 weeks and 3 days left until im 12 weeks!! (Seems like 3 years)

    Offline Bubbles12

    • VIP Member Sponsor
    • *
    Dear Diary

    8 Weeks and 6 Days Pregnant

    I had my booking appointment with the midwife today, took nearly 90 minutes.
    Apparently they recommend that as from 28 weeks, the recomend working from home due to covid so it doesnt look like il be going back to work.

    I should get my 12 week scan date next week. Oh i do hope its not too far from my 12th week.

    My doppler arrived today, i gave it 30 minutes and still couldnt find it so gave up. Slightly disappointed and i worry there is no heartbeat to find but i also know it is slightly early. Im super tired today as i didnt sleep well last night.

    Midwife said as my BMI is lower than 30, dont worry so much about the fact im struggling to eat healthy, with everything going on, she said eat what you want and i will be weighed again at 16 weeks.

    Seen the midwife made this all seem so real... but i must hold my breath, and not let it out until 12 weeks, and even then, only let out a little.

    Offline Bubbles12

    • VIP Member Sponsor
    • *
    Dear Diary

    9 Weeks and 1 Day Pregnant

    Been messing around so much with the doppler that i have made my pubic bone area sore, its red and the skin seems broken as it stings. Not sure if its an allergic reaction to the gel.
    The doppler doesnt seem as good quality as i remember.
    Me and OH were messing around with it last night, he got bored, so i put the headphones in and carried on for a while. I think i heard the heartbeat, twice in the same area, but it was pretty faint. Its reassured me.
    So i cant really use it again until it heals which is a good thing.

    Im not sure if i feel a bleed coming on. Im crampy alot today and ive noticed some *TMI ALERT* orangey blobs when i wipe. Ive had these all week really, i think its the last bit of the bleed coming out but ive had 2 good days where i havent had any, then today its come back, makes me think there is something behind it pushing it out.
    So the plan is not to do much today. Currently sitting with DS and OH with a roast dinner on order.

    DS has a cold which has now turned into a minor cough, im so worried that school will send him home even though its clear its just a cold.

    I have a scan on friday, i will be 9w6d and although part of me is excited to see if baby has grown.. the nerves are taking over massively.
    I cant wait for 12 weeks to come, in hope that there will be some sense of relief and a realisation that this is happening again. Until then, i cant help but doubt it and expect the worst.

    X

    Offline Bubbles12

    • VIP Member Sponsor
    • *
    Dear Diary

    9 Weeks and 2 Days Pregnant

    Scan nerves are kicking in. My boobs dont seem to be as sore the last few days but tiredness has kicked in.

    I had another go on the doppler and i again think i found the heartbeat but for 2 seconds and gone again so now in unsure. I continued looking for another 30 mins but gave up. Now im convinced the baby has stopped growing.

    Clearly the doppler is working out this time around so i think i may not use is for a while. I may put it in OH car so when he goes to work at night, i cant be tempted.

    Im absolutely petrified of this scan... it seems the further along i get, the more scared i become because of how attached ive now become of having another baby.

    Yesterday spent most of the day crampy, today nothing... felt nothing!

    Anyway im pooped....

    X