* Author Topic: Not telling partner about Egg donation (in Czech Republic).. can I pull it off?  (Read 2452 times)

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Offline deblovescats

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  • 2 BFNs 2012, DS 2014, DD 2016
Hi Sharon
I totally empathise about your desire for a child and hope it works out. It is daunting going it alone but like blondie, and this is just my opinion, I think it has a potential to go wrong if you go with a known donor who is a friend. I hope it works out but it might be simpler to go it alone. I can see you want a father figure in your child's life but it can be a male friend or a relative who is not a biological father to the child. If the friendship sours (and I hope it won't) you could be looking at issues of custody as he would be biological father. As a donor egg recipient, you are recognised in UK as the legal birth mother so that is ok. There can be nothing worse than friction between parents for a child whether in a relationship or not. If you used donor sperm, you would be the sole parent and your child could have a relationship with your friend without complications. However, everything might work out anyway. I did double donation in the UK as a single mum so no complications with men! My son has male role models with my male cousins! Good luck with whatever you decide

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    Offline Blondie71

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    Well lying to a person that you're doing treatment with and will have input and responsibility for children with you is a bit different than not offering the truth to outsiders who it's not their business, it'll be a big monkey to carry around on your back is all i'm saying

    Offline Blondie71

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    Something I can tell you on a personal level is my own boys have had a lot of problems and subsequently needed very invasive testing of genetics and DNA this involved alot of health professionals and information asking both about my history and their father (a donor) so that could potentially expose everything cause they may want you and the fathers DNA, do you not think he would be perfectly fine with the truth just in case a similar scenario crops up?

    Offline Blondie71

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    Sorry Sharon my battery died right before I was going to say the best place to ask on here is the legal forum as I'm not sure where that would leave you legally with all this but I guess things to consider are a) he hasn't agreed to have a baby with an egg donor but only with you and therefore could gain full custody as their biological parent if he does find out b) can he sue you for it in the future? Those are the things you really need to find out your rights on prior to any decision x

    Offline Kitkat496

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    Right and wrong aside for a moment and just to answer the question: I think it would be very hard to hide this info as he needs to show his identification and sign the consent papers. In that process he will probably at least glance at the papers (in our case, the header even said something about egg donation) and or the clinic coordinator might even verbally repeat what the "package" is that you are buying. They are quite discrete so they might just hand you the papers but still.... there is a good chance that it won't just fly past him.

    Offline Tincancat

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    He sounds a reasonable man surely he'd not have an issue with donor? . The hurt from deception if truth accidently came out might be unforgivable in his eyes.  You are planning on co-parenting the child so there's a lot of trust needed there.   I understand your reasoning  he may feel he has more "claim" on the child but he wouldn't - you are the mother because you give birth to the child and this is the law in the UK.
    I wish you all the best with your decision.
    TCCx