* Author Topic: Help dealing with low sperm  (Read 2374 times)

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Offline SPR2017

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Help dealing with low sperm
« on: 19/04/17, 21:10 »
This is the first time ive ever been on something like this but my partner thinks it could help so here goes 

Last year i had tests done and found that my sperm is low,i have the results but by looking i dont really understand them and go on what my doctor said, while he said they are not really low they are lower than normal and for probably 4 years now me and my partner have had unprotected sex so in my eyes its pretty obvious that its probably not gonna happen normally.
My trouble is that since finding out ive kinda buried my head in the sand, troed to forget about it and just hope it happens but times going on and still nothing,
Im finding it hard to deal with knowing that im the reason we cant have them, it plays on my mind constantly,
I have a 7 year old step daughter and ive been in her life since she was 2 and i love to bits,treat her like my own and would do anything for her, i have nieces and nephews to but one thing that always brings me back to my problem is when i hear "oh doesnt he/she look like you"
 "You used to do that when you were his/her age"
I straight away think about me and the fact i may never hear a child of mine be compaired to me.
When ever my partner tries to talk to me about it i shut down, thinking about it and the times i do talk about it just upsets me to the point of breaking down in tears,
My partner and i have kind of discused the possiblity of a donor but again i dont talk to much and again normally break down, i cant help but think will i look at the baby and know its not me, will people compair it to me or say it doesnt look like me and my thought be that its not?

Everything to do with this just upsets me and i guess im just looking for anyone thats felt like this and dealt with it or anyone in this situation and i suppose just to know that there could be light at the end of this dark tunnel.

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    Offline Angedelight

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    Help dealing with low sperm
    « Reply #1 on: 19/04/17, 21:55 »
    Hi SPR2017
    I'm not a male but saw your post and wanted to respond.
    Dealing with all this is tough and I think more so for you men as you don't talk about these things. Good on you for coming on here to get some support.
    Is if your GP that has given you your results?. What do they suggest to do next? If so I would get a second opinion and get it all properly explained via a fertility specialist. If your count is low there are sperm improvement protocols and different supplements etc that can all help. I think you need to know exactly what's what with your sperm before you have to start thinking about donor. You can get a consultation which usually includes a Scan for your partner and a semem analysis for you for around 150-200.
    There are lots of ways to overcome sperm issues with fertility treatment. My husband has anti sperm antibodies- no idea how as he ticks none of the boxes. Basically this means the sperm clump together and can't get in the egg. By us having ICSI they select the best sperm and injection it straight into the egg.
    You definitely are not alone.
    Please keep talking to your partner no matter how hard it is. You need each other.
    Best wishes
    X

    Offline SPR2017

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    Help dealing with low sperm
    « Reply #2 on: 19/04/17, 22:53 »
    Hi Mrs-C
    Ive just checked the dates of my results and its actually nearly 2 years ago, wow i didnt realise it had been that long, my doctor told me that they can refer us to the specialists but my partner has to be tested first as they refer as a couple and need both results,she has an appointment soon, i had 2 tests done that i think were 8 months apart and while the 2nd test was slightly better it was still lower than normal, if you dont mind me asking how did your husband cope with the problems you faced? Was a donor ever thought of and if so what was his or your views and feelings?
    If we did have to go that way i feel like i wouldnt care cos it would be my child and id love it and care for it no matter what but theres a part of me that will know its not my blood and when hearing comparisons like people normally do i may never hear it looks like me or behaves like i did.

    Offline welsh_88

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    Help dealing with low sperm
    « Reply #3 on: 20/04/17, 14:49 »
    Hi also female but thought I'd add my bit my partner also has low count and everything else like you the gp was useless and really vague with the results but we did get referred to ivf on NHS with icsi I don't know what the rules are now but we were told if either of you had children then it wouldn't be possible to have NHS funding unfortunately ours failed so we are looking to go private.

    Have you thought about asking to see a urologist?

    He is absolutely devastated by the results of his sperm test we don't discuss it often cos I too think he wants to bury his head in the sand....we discussed the possibility of a donor in the future which he wasn't keen on because he doesn't like the idea of people saying oh doesn't he/she look like you and feels it would be one big lie and more importantly he's not ready to give up his chance of biological children however if another go fails badly ( last time we had all poor quality embryos ) we have discussed a double donor so neither of us is the biological parent so the other one doesn't feel left out but again even talking about the possibility upsets him

    He started to take wellman tablets and I've put him on a whole other range of ones I've heard are good for sperm but it takes 3 months to show any improvement from changes I'd be happy to share the list with you if it's something you would be interested in?

    Also obviously smoking damages sperm ( he doesn't ) and drinking or occasional drugs I.e cocaine weed the hardest thing for him to deal with is the fact that he is healthy ok his diet could be better but he's a healthy weight never smoked and yet the results are really poor doctors are uninterested in helping to improve it instead they focus on woman or ivf

    The tests for your partner are definitely worth having too as I found out I have endometriosis so there's two problems we are dealing with for us while we save for a private go we are going to try naturally I've bought ovulation tests and pre seed lubricant so maybe they could help you too?

    Remember it only takes one and even if naturally doesn't work there is a good chance ivf will

    Infertility issues are definitely harder for males to cope with I suppose it makes you feel less of a man somehow? But I can guarantee your partner doesn't view you in that light I certainly don't with my partner I haven't told anyone family or friends about the male factor side so it takes pressure off him

    Anyway I hope anything I said but help in some small way remember there are millions of men with low counts and it's very possible for you to conceive I would start by making sure you get the timing right and take some conception vitamins ovulation sticks are super cheap on eBay and aim for sex every 2-3 days not every day as a lower count needs more time to re stock :-)

    Offline SPR2017

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    « Reply #4 on: 20/04/17, 20:54 »
    Hi welsh_88

    Thankyou for commenting, it sounds like your partner is having the same feelings and thoughts that i am, also sounds like both me and your partner are not dealing with it very well, i would like you to know the list of what your partner is taking and hopefully they'll work for us both, i hope your next step goes well for you both.

    Offline Dory10

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    Help dealing with low sperm
    « Reply #5 on: 22/04/17, 15:05 »
    Hi SPR

    Another lady here. My husband has extremely low count and mobility, on a few occasions no sperm was found in his sample.  5 years ago after 2 years trying naturally with no success his second sample came back with no sperm present and we were to,d we'd never have our own biological child.  However once at the fertility clinic they were less pessimistic, with various supplements he has had enough sperm to fertilise my eggs for 3 ICSI cycles, he was on stand by for SSR each time but didn't need it.  We have been through so much soul searching, tears etc but 7 years on we have our beautiful little girl.

    The supplement that worked best for him was proxeed sachets 2 per day.

    Good luck

    Dory
    Xx

    Offline welsh_88

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    Help dealing with low sperm
    « Reply #6 on: 22/04/17, 19:05 »
    Sorry for the delay in replying here is the list he started to take but be warned it's long and probably not all needed but we wanted to just throw everything at it and see in a few months if any improvement
    This is what he is taking daily have a look on google about each cos lots of information  :)

    Ubiquinol 100mg twice daily  ( or you can buy q10 as it's cheaper )
    Alpha lipoic acid 200mg one daily
    Welllman conception once daily
    Black maca 2000mg ( 4 tablets a day totalling 2000mg) read lots of good things about this
    Omega 3 fish oil 1000mg once daily
    Vitamin c 1000mg once daily
    Also he takes an extra 15mg zinc a day

    I watched a video on utube by Kendra d called what we did differently to conceive after infertility which I found really helpful they had failed ivf and husband had 0% morphology but yet managed to conceive naturally after taking some of the vitamins hopefully you will find it helpful too  :)

    If you don't want to take so many vitamins just wellman conception have had good success

    Offline WatermelonBelly

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    Help dealing with low sperm
    « Reply #7 on: 19/05/17, 13:40 »
    I'm sorry you feel so rubbish. I think my husband was very much down when he first got his results back. He also wants to keep our IVF/ICSI a secret and has not told anyone about the problem.

    Try to think about it as any other medical problem - if you had tonsilities or back pain, you'd just get help from a doctor, wouldn't you? I know this might feel a bit more sensitive but it isn't that much different really.

    Also, if your numbers are on the low side, it sounds like there could be improvement had with lifestyle changes or at least enough good sperms for IVF or ICSI. I think you're waaaay away from needing a sperm donor. It's also very good that your partner is getting checked out - things can really change in a few years so nothing can be assumed just because she had a baby 7 years ago.

    Anyway, while we're preparing for our first IVF with ICSI, my husband has been on a real mission to get his little swimmers in the best shape possible for the treatment. His diet is even healthier- regular, balanced meals, min 7 of his 5 a day, max 1 coffee a day and perhaps 1 alcoholic drink per week max. He's always been slim and sporty so he's keeping that up. He's also taking Profertil religiously. No smoking or drugs (never has done). It's been proven many times over that such lifestyle changes do make a great difference.

    If you find it difficult to talk to your partner/family or friends, then perhaps you could try a counsellor?

    I wish you the best of luck and hope you'll soon find the situation easier to accept and just go with.