* Author Topic: No sperm/ sperm donor dads - advice needed  (Read 1792 times)

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Offline Mrsem3

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No sperm/ sperm donor dads - advice needed
« on: 21/04/17, 21:24 »
Hi there,
Sorry, just looking for some advice. We found out last October that my husband has no sperm. Obviously we are both still coming to terms with it. I have a few questions;
1) my husband and I have a really good relationship, but for those who have had the same diagnosis- is there anything that I can do to help him? I am there for him when it bubbles up, but is there anything I can do to help him deal/cope with the diagnosis. Is there something you found helpful?

2) at this point (and understandably) he is against using a sperm donor. I get this and am not pushing him one way or the other, but he has said his worries about using a sperm donor are; that he won't feel a connection/ know how to love, and that the child might reject him at some point (even though his rationale mind know that this could happen even if the child was his). So my questions are; is this something you felt, how did you come to terms with these thoughts, and if you did go down that path, is it something you find harder to deal with than you thought?

Thank you and Apologies for the ramble, its being playing round my head for a long time.

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    Offline Jes87

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    No sperm/ sperm donor dads - advice needed
    « Reply #1 on: 28/04/17, 08:55 »
    Hey Mrsem,

    I'm the guy in this situation. Sooo:

    1) Not really. It's something we have to deal with a lot ourselves. All you can do is be there for him if he wants to talk, but if he says he doesn't want to - don't push it. We made a "our journey" book and wrote down all our thoughts and feelings at all the stages. I felt it helped, and it will be a nice thing to be able to give to our kids one day (they are donor conceived).

    2) I posted a reply to another user here: https://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=368929.0

    Seems a bit pointless copying and pasting, so you can see my thoughts there.

    Never apologise for rambling on here! It's a great place to dump your thoughts. You guys got this :) hopefully you feel better now that you've actually got your thoughts out of your head and down in writing!