Hi all
Please forgive me in advance if this comes out wrong or causes offence - i hope I'm posting in the right place for 'hoping for another miracle'. It's the middle of the night,too,so who knows how this will come out!
We ttc for 5 years before having our amazing little boy last otober from our final FET. He sure is a handful but we adore him.
This site was a lifeline for me at that time and I'll never forget the support I received - thank you.
We have now started to try for a sibling and I am struggling (again). As I type I have the worst period pains an di expect it to all start again in the morning. With this much pain it can't be as simple as just 'unexplained' as we were told last time before we struck gold with our son. I have already been to the doctors, more to get it on my notes that we have started trying than anything else, and have been told that they'd take us seriously again after only 6 months, so I am pleased about that - a couple of months to go, although I may go back. I also suspect a possible literal phase defect as I think I ovulated on day 19 this cycle (?). Would need to look into this further though.
Regardless of any of this I can just feel the same old feelings creeping back in...big time bump envy and wanting to avoid a couple of friends I know have imminent pregnancy announcements, plus already feeling sad about the fact my lovely nct group will be onto thei next children soon enough and I'll be left out all over again. I definitely look back at pregnancy - and even birth - with rose-tinted glasses and would so love to do it all again. I am shocked and astounded that my wonderful little boy in the next room hasn't helped these feelings to abate - I read on another post in this section that someone said they almost felt the pain of ttc a second child worst than the first, and although I would never have thought that possible I think I understand it now.
My husband is struggling to support me and in his less patient moments says I will never be happy...this is rathet blunt but I know what he means and that when he says it it comes from a place of exasperation with me and not meanness. I don't know how to talk to anyone else about this for similar reasons as even just reading this through now it sounds like such a geeedy thing to think.
I don't think we would have any more treatment, btw, but I wouldn't like to rule it out. I just hope against hope it doesn't come to that again, not least because I expect I've used up all my goodwill at work for getting any time off for appointments etc, and I'm not sure I could take my son to clinic appointments without feeling too awkward for those waiting for their first miracle.
I'm almost willing my son to wake up for a feed now so I can give him a cuddle - so I really must be going mad haha!
Anyway, thanks for reading and hoping to find some support or advice on here. Sincerely sorry for anyone who finds themselves in a similar position - xxx
Please forgive me in advance if this comes out wrong or causes offence - i hope I'm posting in the right place for 'hoping for another miracle'. It's the middle of the night,too,so who knows how this will come out!
We ttc for 5 years before having our amazing little boy last otober from our final FET. He sure is a handful but we adore him.
This site was a lifeline for me at that time and I'll never forget the support I received - thank you.
We have now started to try for a sibling and I am struggling (again). As I type I have the worst period pains an di expect it to all start again in the morning. With this much pain it can't be as simple as just 'unexplained' as we were told last time before we struck gold with our son. I have already been to the doctors, more to get it on my notes that we have started trying than anything else, and have been told that they'd take us seriously again after only 6 months, so I am pleased about that - a couple of months to go, although I may go back. I also suspect a possible literal phase defect as I think I ovulated on day 19 this cycle (?). Would need to look into this further though.
Regardless of any of this I can just feel the same old feelings creeping back in...big time bump envy and wanting to avoid a couple of friends I know have imminent pregnancy announcements, plus already feeling sad about the fact my lovely nct group will be onto thei next children soon enough and I'll be left out all over again. I definitely look back at pregnancy - and even birth - with rose-tinted glasses and would so love to do it all again. I am shocked and astounded that my wonderful little boy in the next room hasn't helped these feelings to abate - I read on another post in this section that someone said they almost felt the pain of ttc a second child worst than the first, and although I would never have thought that possible I think I understand it now.
My husband is struggling to support me and in his less patient moments says I will never be happy...this is rathet blunt but I know what he means and that when he says it it comes from a place of exasperation with me and not meanness. I don't know how to talk to anyone else about this for similar reasons as even just reading this through now it sounds like such a geeedy thing to think.
I don't think we would have any more treatment, btw, but I wouldn't like to rule it out. I just hope against hope it doesn't come to that again, not least because I expect I've used up all my goodwill at work for getting any time off for appointments etc, and I'm not sure I could take my son to clinic appointments without feeling too awkward for those waiting for their first miracle.
I'm almost willing my son to wake up for a feed now so I can give him a cuddle - so I really must be going mad haha!
Anyway, thanks for reading and hoping to find some support or advice on here. Sincerely sorry for anyone who finds themselves in a similar position - xxx