* Author Topic: My life as a mummy of 5  (Read 8060 times)

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Offline Faithope

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My life as a mummy of 5
« on: 17/05/17, 08:39 »
Ok, so are you ready for my continued ramblings?? if not, better go now as I'm about to start....  ;)

So I joined FF in 2011. I never thought that as a mum of 1 and so desperate to give my son a sibling and to give my husband his first biological child, that 6 years later I would be a mum of 4 beautiful boys.

Things have got very difficult for me and I hope that even though I struggled to have my 2nd child and my journey was a very difficult one, that there will be understanding in my difficulties that I will talk about here.

NEVER am I ungreatful,  not realise how lucky I am etc... I do know and I remind myself every day.

I will be back. I have to get the washing on and pack for our holiday.

to be continued...

 ^Heart^ T ^Heart^ J ^Heart^ G ^Heart^ O

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    Offline Faithope

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    My life as a mummy of 4
    « Reply #1 on: 28/05/17, 20:00 »
    Back from our holiday...

    Id like to say I feel refreshed but I'm not. ALL 3 boys were ill on holiday. First J got a cold and had a slight temperature. Then O got a temperature and a runny nose. Then G got an ear infection and a temperature of 39.7. So bloody scary.

    Due to J having Autism, any change to routine or environment means he doesn't cope and will make himself vomit. the first 3 days he did. I took Vanish carpet foam cleaner with us. He doesn't sleep well anyway but was worse for the entire holiday. Days out he spent in the pushchair with the hood pulled right over him with Mr tumble on his DVD player. Its funny (well its not but you know what I mean) but when it came to the 12 week scan for J, after all the years waiting for him and him being our ICSI miracle we declined the nuchal test. I said to DH that he could have anything that we cant see, like Autism. Weird how that's what has happened. Anyway I think the places we did visit that had green open spaces were a winner for him as he was able to run (with his harness on) and was very giggly which was lovely to see and hear.

    Every day with my boys is like chasing my tail. I barely get a chance to breathe. I make sure they all get their needs met but its impossible and I feel immense guilt for that. I try so hard to be a good mum. I try to learn new Makaton to help develop J language. I have a BF baby who still has 3 hourly feeds. I have a 2 year old that is showing independence beyond his years and has frustration when he cant do something.

    I hate to sound like I am being negative. But I never expected it to be like this. I feel a failure most days. If I was asked how I was feeling today, I would say I'm beyond tired. I have a long list of things I need to do yet never get round to doing it. I could be doing the clean washing putting it away right now but I need some time to let my mind do nothing.

    So hence why I am typing now. I want to get it all out.

    I will try to be positive here too. Not a moaning old woman.

    So today I : made O giggle by tickling him and the sound made me well u
    J wanted to play chase so looked me in the eyes (eye contact is very rare)
    G is still poorly but still had a smile that made me smile

    As for my oldest boy, T, he is 19 in 3 weeks. he spent the week with my niece as he had exams at college this week. He is coming to terms with having coeliac. also the epilepsy. He has a lot to deal with. I am looking forward for a lovely hug from my 6ft 3 first born.

    DH and I are trying not to take out our parenting frustrations out on each other but again, its hard. He is there, so its easy to have a go when things get tough.

    So this week we have J and O having immunisations on the same day. Dreading it so much.

    Must leave it there.






    Offline Faithope

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    My life as a mummy of 4
    « Reply #2 on: 1/06/17, 07:58 »
    The jabs went OK as jabs go...

    J screamed as expected, but no after effects and he ripped his own plasters off.
    O screamed but also had no side effects unlike the 8 week ones where he did have a temperature and was screaming for 24 hours.

    So last September when G had his convulsion and T had his epileptic fit, I suffered a cold that resulted in me losing my voice. Well it didn't come back so was refereed to speech therapy. It turns out due to the stress of what was happening and the fact I had silent acid reflux while pregnant, I developed Muscle Tension Dysphonia. I have finally recovered and voice back to normal.

    At the moment I am bogged down with lots of forms to fill in for J. We have applied to attend an Autism course. Also to get a support worker. Its all so overwhelming that I am struggling to get everything sorted. I hate disorganisation yet my home is a mess (its not to my standards). The bigger picture is of course my children, they are my priority.

    sorry if this is all mish mashed. I am typing so fast to get this done.


    Offline Faithope

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    My life as a mummy of 4
    « Reply #3 on: 24/06/17, 21:59 »
    T 19 years old today
    J 3 and a half years old
    G 2 years 2 months
    O 5 months old

    O has cut his 1st tooth  :o

    We have finally got into a routine so life is getting 'easier'. one month until weaning O. Not looking forward to it as its much easier getting boob out and feeding. but washed the highchair down in the garden and its all ready. Just need to get some new bibs.

    J is doing ok. He is doing lots of signing (thanks Mr Tumble) and is enjoying nursery.

    G has 2 teeth left to cut. He is such a strong willed boy and is also craving my attention which is challenging.

    T is being a royal pain up the butt. He is struggling with everything. he has been told he is not welcome back at college next term. Thanks to his aggressive attitude. He is walking a very fine line right now!  ^bigbad^

    AFM I just had ovulation which is getting more painful after each pregnancy. ive only had one AF since O was born. Dh and I are being very careful!  ;D





    Offline Faithope

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    My life as a mummy of 4
    « Reply #4 on: 28/06/17, 20:41 »
    I need to be an Octopus  ::)

    I can not leave O in the room with G, if I do he will hit him, pull him and cover his face!! he has already given him a bloodshot eye as he threw a fir cone at his face. Today he pushed his slippers into his face. So I have to take O with me if I leave the room. The poor baby cant lay on the play mat or his brother will lay on top of him. G is craving my undivided attention. I don't have the time he wants. I give him his 1:1 time but its not enough for him.

    J is such a delight with his learning new signs and trying new food (he has a 4 food diet) He has SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) I have to massage his mouth before he eats to desensitize it. Both he and G had a hair cut today. Its traumatic to hear him sobbing as he hates the hair falling on him but also refuses to wear the apron to stop it getting on him...

    T is being distant. I know I cant hold his hand anymore but id like it if he could let me in once in a while.

    O is boobing so much. One month until weaning. not stressing like I did with the others. Just going with the flow.


    Offline Faithope

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    My life as a mummy of 4
    « Reply #5 on: 6/07/17, 08:29 »
    Summer Colds all round then  ::)

    No sleep at all for me last night and I'm irritable and I pulled neck muscles so am really struggling. G seems to think our bed is his too... Its so hot at night and 4 of us in one room is becoming challenging!

    O is full of cold and I took him to the GP on Monday as I am so paranoid of tempertures. I will be down s the mummy who is over cautious.

    2nd AF is here since O was born. Its a heavy one. DH keeps saying next year to try for one more. I think hes lost his mind.

     ::)

    Offline Faithope

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    My life as a mummy of 4
    « Reply #6 on: 7/07/17, 20:01 »
     :'(

    My poor boy J  :'(

    Last night we had to call 999 as he had a febrile convulsion. Just like G had last year. His temperature rose at an alarming rate and DH had just popped downstairs and it happened n front of me as he went down. I was screaming at him to come back ad he thought I was over reacting to vomit or something. When he walked in the room he froze then quickly realised he needed to call for an ambulance as again, like G, it was his first.

    The poor mite came round within 2 minutes and the ambulance car was at our home in 3 minutes from the call. We live next to the ambulance station thank god!!

    J was so confused and as he is non verbal he just sobbed and kept saying mmmuummmm at me. The paramedic was lovely and really reassured me and DH. DH had to take J to hospital as the ambulance service were very busy so to get there quickly DH drove him while I stayed at home with the other 2 boys. T peed me off s he chose that moment to start an argument and I was sobbing.

    Thankfully J was home by 2am. I am a nervous wreak, keep taking his temperature and loading him with calpol and ibuprofen!

    This is just not even funny, my poor boys  :'( :-\

    Offline Faithope

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    My life as a mummy of 4
    « Reply #7 on: 18/07/17, 19:18 »
    J is getting better. He is randomly crying though which is worrying me. He cant talk to tell me what's wrong so I'm still guessing.

    he has his MDA (multi disciplinary assessment) the second week of August. We got the call yesterday. We have been waiting since we were told he had Autism in October last year. So that involves 4 days of assessment then the 5th day is the report.
    We then need to look into SEN schools. I am terrified. He will flourish I'm sure but this is all new and very scary.

    This week we started the weaning process with O. Id rather just whip my boob out, far easier and less messy.

    must go...

    Offline Faithope

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    My life as a mummy of 4
    « Reply #8 on: 6/08/17, 21:52 »
    The week of hospital assessments.

    We have an OT coming to the house tomorrow. She will check for safety issues around the house. Then we see her the next day at hospital to discuss other things. I'm still not sure what the hell is going on if I'm honest.

    We need a 4 bed house. We are currently in a 3. I'm in social housing as never been fortunate enough to get on the property ladder. Our current situation means that we are a bedroom short. The council refused our exceptional circumstances form. So things have to change either by dh and I sleeping in the living room and all the boys spread out upstairs. Or we can try for a disability grant to build an extension.

    Currently night times are awful. We have a strict bedtime routine. J has to have things exactly the same every night. He has to be rocked to sleep but since the holidays started he never seems tired. He's up in the night jumping on his bed, having full chats with himself. G is being woken and us not coping. We have o in with us still so usually it's 4 of us squished in.

    Dh and I are struggling. Autism sucks.

    I will update with the MDA results

    Offline Faithope

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    My life as a mummy of 4
    « Reply #9 on: 11/08/17, 08:59 »
    So the MDA week didn't go as planned.

    Monday the OT came and she has given advice on some things and is getting locks sorted, letter box sorted due to J posting all sorts through it (our poor postman has to deliver twice every day to our house)

    Tuesday we saw the Speech and Language lady. She observed how manic J is in moving around the room and not spending more than a minute on an activity. She said 'I'm sure its of no surprise to you but he does have Autism'

    Wednesday we got to the hospital to see the psychologist and as we were getting the boys out of the car, the phone rang and it was the hospital to cancel!! Not pleased at all but we are being seen next week.

    Thursday was the dentist. She said his teeth are fine except the blu Tac stuck in it (only an Autism parent will understand this).

    So next week back there again.

    Then more waiting for report day...