THE PAST: Cloudy's Guide to Having a Baby in the NICUSomeone told me that every NICU experience is different, and it certainly is. It's strange, you meet these people in there who for a few days are your best friends, you know everything about them and their babies, but a few days later they move to the ward, another hospital, home, and you move on to the next friend. We were lucky that our time in there was relatively short. The big downside was it feel like forever, especially for the first few days.
TOP TIP 1: Don't have any expectations.
I was finally put on a mum and baby ward about 5.30am after having been up for 24 hours, in labour, having a general anesthetic, having a baby, and going slightly mad. I had the worst few hours sleep I have never had: not that you can call it sleep, i was swinging between elation and fear, relief and intense anxiety. One of the worst parts was also the thirst: I hadnt been able to drink for a while before the csection, and not immediately afterwards, and once on the ward I couldn't get out of bed to get any water, and I didn't have anyone there to get me any. I also do not know who thought putting a woman whose baby is in the NICU on a ward with screaming babies was a good idea. It was an horrific experience, and if i had the use of my legs I would have got up and slept in reception on a chair.
TOP TIP 2: Get ear plugs and an eye mask and a bottle of water in your bag, just in case you are in a ward without your baby (or use of your legs!) for any reason
At some point a midwife came in to my cubicle and startled me with probably the scariest sentence I have ever heard in my life "we have the NICU on the phone about your baby". For that few seconds I was again transported back to the "your baby has died" scenario, but it wasn't that, it was "how do you want to feed it". Bearing in mind I was dehydrated, exhausted, confused, emotional, the fact I was able to utter "baby food" was a bit of a miracle! I explained I wanted to breastfeed, but beings as I couldn't walk I didn't know if that was possible. "So, what do you want to do?" she asks like I'm a child who hasn't done my homework, and in fact I do feel a bit like I'm in one of those dreams where you have to sit an exam but you don't even know what its about. I just stare at her so she huffs "I will get them to give it formula then". Yep, thats my baby, It
TOP TIP 3: If you expect NICU time for your baby, plan ahead for feeding! I wish I had asked about pre-pumping or something, but in all the stress of the days/weeks leading up to birth I hadn't even thought of it.
Once morning came I was pretty much left, stuck in a chair without the ability to move (because the catheter was attached to the bed) waiting. By the time Mr C had come back, and I had been checked by the Dr, and a wheelchair had been found (which you would think would be prolific in a hospital, but apparently not), it was nearly 2pm before I saw my baby again: and it felt like forever. We spent some time holding him, taking pictures, talking to him, generally feeling overwhelmed. It was amazing. It was also quite surreal to not be changing nappies or feeding him. Although they did explain what I needed to do to express milk (by massaging my boobs and collecting it with a syringe). They also spoke to the ward and they managed to find me a side room so that evening I was given a little bit of peace and quiet away from all the other mum's who I was so jealous of.
TOP TIP 3: Rest while you can, a baby in NICU is pretty much in the safest place in the world for a baby to be, so rest and recuperate if you can. Absolutely do not shuffle all the way across the hospital at 10.30pm through the hoards of drunks in your PJs when you arent supposed to be walking to go and see the baby and make sure they are tucked in for the night. Absolutely don't do that.
We had a few more day's of that while they tried to sort Reggie's various issues out. He had raised infection markers for sepsis and was on antibiotics, he had a feeding tube in his nose (NG feeding tube) because he wasn't strong enough to feed, a blockage in his bowel requiring a contrast x-ray (that caused his bowel to clear, all over the Dr
) and problems maintaining his body temperature meaning he needed to be on a heat pad with about 9 layers of clothes/blanket. They gave us comfort squares so that we could each have one to help him settle and to help me get more milk. They also provided all his clothes, nappies, and food, and were generally brilliant. They supported me with my breast-milk production attempts (I think I will do a separate entry about that!) and helped us changing his clothes and nappies (because he was on wires and drips etc, it looked scary, but wasn't as difficult as it appeared) and doing his observations etc.
TOP TIP 4: Use the Parent and Family room. We used to sit in there and have a coffee and a chat, often with the other parents in there, or with our own parents. It's a strange experience and there are no visiting hours, so you can go in there at any time, and its nice to have a break. The NICU can be quite a stressful environment, but one thing I really noticed was that everyone was so respectful of everyone elses journeys and their babies. They didn't stare at other babies, or make comments about who was spending all day with their baby, or who wasn't there much, and everyone was really positive and supportive of each other, without being over the top. Most hospitals also have parking passes for people who have NICU babies so ask your nurse about one if you need one.
I'm very grateful to the staff and the parents in the NICU and it really wasn't as scary as I thought it was going to be, although I'm really glad we had been able to visit before we had him so that we knew a little bit what to expect.
TOP TIP 5: Wear as little clothing as possible because its fricking boiling in there!
xxx
