* Author Topic: Being an older mum & being mistaken for granny...  (Read 11577 times)

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Offline nevertoolate

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Being an older mum & being mistaken for granny...
« Reply #40 on: 4/06/17, 20:35 »
Hi
My hairdresser said there is no problem but I also chose not to chance it

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    Offline deblovescats

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    Being an older mum & being mistaken for granny...
    « Reply #41 on: 4/06/17, 22:25 »
    I never risked it either! Thankfully my hair is mainly still brown, though I have some white hairs. I'm planning on having it touched up once I can leave my little one for long enough. At the moment, she's very clingy and doesn't like to be parted from me for very long at all. She likes nothing better than to be cuddled by me. She'll sit with someone as long as she can see me!
    As for DCN, I wouldn't get too worked up about telling/not telling. I looked at it as I wanted to see what resources were there, to make contact with other women in the same situation .... I am trying to make up my mind but not decided yet. Thinking of maybe being open, but its a personal thing, people need to decide what's best for them. Just look into it with an open mind.

    Offline Altai

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    Being an older mum & being mistaken for granny...
    « Reply #42 on: 5/06/17, 07:22 »
    I used natural henna to dye my hair, you can get one from lush 100% natural ok to use during pregnancy.
    But your hair will look greasy the next day as it contains coco oils etc.

    Facing the same dilemna of being an older mum when everyone around is much younger. I havent told other mums my age but nobody asked.

    Offline nevertoolate

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    Being an older mum & being mistaken for granny...
    « Reply #43 on: 5/06/17, 08:20 »
    I guess the bottom line is would we rather be an older woman with a baby or no baby ... I try to think that when I come up against ignorant comments.

    Offline deblovescats

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    Being an older mum & being mistaken for granny...
    « Reply #44 on: 5/06/17, 22:41 »
    Dreaming - I totally agree with you. I for one, would much rather be an older mum with children rather than an older woman without, regardless of what ignorant people think. I am now thinking much more positively, glad for the support on here and feel better that other people know what I'm going through. I've decided to revel in being a mum and I feel proud that we have all had the guts to go ahead, despite any disapproval. It's been a long, difficult journey and I'm relieved I've reached my goal. I love my children absolutely and I'm not ashamed to be an older mum. We've all paid more in taxes than young mums, some who have never worked. If anyone makes a negative comment to me, I'm going to respond in kind, but dignified. And I'm going to say proudly that they are my children and I am not granny!
    By the way, anyone seen the speculation about Halle Berry and a possible third pregnancy at the age of 50. If it is so, the likelihood is that she's used DE, but I bet she won't be forthcoming about it. Has anyone noticed that celebrities who have children later in life, even female ones, seem to get admiration, but us women who are not celebrities, get the negative comments.

    Offline nevertoolate

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    Being an older mum & being mistaken for granny...
    « Reply #45 on: 6/06/17, 01:17 »
    Hi,
    You should be extra proud going it alone with two young children which i imagine is very hard work so well done you. You are an inspiration to me as I have not been brave enough to go for a second pregnancy yet. I have had people close to me comment negatively who I thought were friends but I think had their own issues deep down being older mothers themselves but decided to take it out on me. I also have some friends who chose not to have children and were questioned by a couple who almost had to go down the ivf route but got pregnant naturally so you would think they would be more sensitive to others feelings. People seem to just comment if they feel like it but I don't see why we should have to put up with it.
    I hope Halle berry is pregnant at 50 just like Janet Jackson as I would find it an inspiration to me that I still have time to have another baby. My personal feelings are that as far as I am aware the option of using donor eggs to get pregnant has been around since the 90's and one of the nurses said to me people used to come to the clinic alone and it was very much not discussed but she said now women come in with their friends or partners and are more open, even if they need donor sperm or eggs so I guess it is slowly becoming more acceptable. I honestly just don't feel like I owe the the world an explanation of how I got pregnant, I am not ashamed of using donor eggs I just chose to keep that information private. So I choose to view the celebs as just fellow sisters getting pregnant. If they used donor eggs, double donation or froze their own eggs good luck to them. It's up to them and I feel like me they are not obliged to discuss it. 
    I remember reading negative comments online about John travoltas wife who was pregnant at 47 and speculation on how she got pregnant. They tragically lost they older son jet and it was lovely that they had a little boy. There is a lot of speculation about women but usually nothing about men on there...

    Offline deblovescats

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    Being an older mum & being mistaken for granny...
    « Reply #46 on: 6/06/17, 09:39 »
    Thanks dreaming. It is hard work but so rewarding. I'm glad you feel inspired. I agree about the media - when any male celebrities father a baby at a very advanced age - such as Mick Jagger or Ronnie Wood- even in their 70s, it's celebrated in the papers, yet older mums (who are generally a lot younger than this, are decried). There's always an article about the perils of motherhood in your 40s .... I have not regretted it. I agree it's no one else's business about how we got pregnant. I have not told anyone about the donor eggs except my sister for the reason I was giving her false hope that it was easily achieved in your 40s. .... I'm sorry you've had negativity from friends or family, it's the last thing you should expect. I'm beginning to think that its other people's issues not ours, and they're not worth worrying about. If we're happy about it, so be it. I am not planning on broadcasting to other people. I am not ashamed of using donor egg either, but why should other people speculate and have an issue about it. I don't want people thinking they're not my children as they're not genetically related. They are my lovely children and that's all that matters. They'll be brought up by me and be influenced by my parenting style. I don't know why people have a big issue about the genetic link.

    Offline nevertoolate

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    Being an older mum & being mistaken for granny...
    « Reply #47 on: 6/06/17, 17:22 »
    I know it might sound like wishful thinking but growing this baby from a tiny cell in our body For those months, giving birth, potentially feeding baby with breast milk if possible and nurturing and loving this person for the rest of our lives, is that not worth more than genetics? I honestly think older mums will be more the norm in years to come so we are among the first to use this method which is special.
    Also I remember reading comments from a donor saying that in her mind the egg she was giving was potentially lost each month in her period so why not use it to help someone. I thought that was amazing and very generous.

    Offline deblovescats

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    Being an older mum & being mistaken for granny...
    « Reply #48 on: 7/06/17, 21:43 »
    I totally echo your comments dreaming. I think it's amazing what gift the donors give and I hope they realise how much we cherish our little ones .... I agree about how we nurture and protect them while pregnant, breast feed if possible and then care and love them .. that's what matters, not their genetic origin. I saw a headline online to say Tina Malone is planning a sibling for her daughter who she had at 50 using donor egg. She is planning to use a surrogate due to pre eclampsia in pregnancy and she will be 54 if it works out. So its good to see older celebs in the media ...
    I agree that it's becoming more common for older mums ... and that can be only good news.
    I think perhaps we should start a new thread for parenting in your 40s/50s - to celebrate it and to relate the highs and lows ... we could name it something inspiring. I think we're trailblazers ... Hopefully we might inspire others in the future. we could call it 'Terrific Trailblazers - parenting when you're 40/50+ ... any ideas guys?

    Offline nevertoolate

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    Being an older mum & being mistaken for granny...
    « Reply #49 on: 7/06/17, 22:09 »
    Sounds great!! Media is negative but the more positive joe public is around the subject and the older people are starting their family means media and general views are bound to be more accepting.
    Maybe positive stories where being more mature is an advantage to a situation. I honestly feel more comfortable in myself so more confident in my decision making that I don't think I was when younger.