* Author Topic: Life as a mummy to toddler twins  (Read 4799 times)

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Life as a mummy to toddler twins
« on: 7/06/17, 07:17 »
I loved keeping a treatment diary, which you can find here....
https://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=298534.0

I have posted very ocasionally about my twinnies in my treatment diary but would love to record things in more detail (although spent the first 2 years in a sleep deprived fog with no spare time to post) so am starting this diary. I have miracle identical twin boys, H and D born at 34 weeks and 2 days gestation after a very traumatic and stressful pregnancy. They are now 2 years, 2 months and 19 days old. They are bright, adventurous toddlers who are a joy to play with 90 % of the time. They are strong willed and very much know there own minds and the tantrums are spectacular. I follow a gentle parenting philosophy as much as possible, which at times is hard and I am known to whisper under my breath 'give me strength' at least once if not multiple times per day. I work very part time as a university lecturer and only have childcare when I am physically lecturing so do all my prep during nap time and in the evenings. With twins who still don't sleep through the night that makss for one very knackerd mummy.

Parenting H and D is the hardest, most amazing and rewarding thing I havd ever done.

That was just a short introduction. More to follow soon

Bye for now

KB xxx

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    Offline Keeping busy

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    Life as a mummy to toddler twins
    « Reply #1 on: 17/06/17, 23:21 »
    Mummy fail, an important part of daddy's fathers day present is still in Sainsbury's. Today the twinnes and I went to the theater with my mum, sister in law and niece and nephew. Twins were very well behaved but keeping them still was a mission. After the theater we said goodbye to my family. Cue lots of crying because obviously mummy isn't as fun as cousins and granny. We make it to the car. Two very independent toddlers now climb into the car.  However in order to do this successfully the car door has to be wide open. D's door opens fine and in he climbs. H's door can't be opened wide enough,  cue more tears  and shouts of it do it. My suggestion that he climbs in D's side is met with more tears. In the end I pick him up and strap him into his car seat whilst he screams and hit's me. I say all the normal things,  'I know you are angy but....' I know you are sad but....' I'm sorry you are sad....'. He cried all the way to Sainsbury's, 15 minutes away.  Once out the car and in the front of the trolly he cheers up. I locate the photo printing machine but can't work out how to print from social media.  I don't have data left.... ring up put more data on. Decide to get the few bits I need whilst waiting for data to start working. In order to keep children happy by them a matchbox car each. H now happily moves to sit next to do. We get our shopping, pay, the twins eat nearly a whole punnet of raspberries while I download the pictures to print.  As I am sorting the printing I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder.  Looking round I find H stood up on the trolly seat. Manage to get him sat back down. Print pictures,  boys now whining and I can't blame them.  Put photos down in counter,  pay for photos,  get cash,  get kids in car,  drive home with windows open to keep kids awake. Get home 20 minutes later and realise i've left the photos on the counter..... urgh....

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    Life as a mummy to toddler twins
    « Reply #2 on: 17/06/17, 23:23 »
    Typos. .... sorry i'my knackered, which is my permanent state these days xxx

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    « Reply #3 on: 18/06/17, 21:48 »
    We spent  a lovely father's day at the beach. H and D are rather found of the sea and stand up paddle boarding! 

    My twins have never been good at going to bed and recently it has become much worse so I have cut their day time nap down to an hour and it really needs to be finished by 1.30 in order to get an 8 pm bedtime.  Anyway they didn't go down for their nap until 1 today and we woke them just after 2. I was thinking bedtime would be a nightmare. Anyway it wasn't too bad, 8.30, but it did make me laugh when they both tried to grap the same boob (they were breastfeed until 23 months and still find it comorning to 'hold' a boob for comfort) and D shouted 'it's mine'.

    Bye for now
    KB xxx

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    Life as a mummy to toddler twins
    « Reply #4 on: 23/06/17, 07:18 »
    Yesterday H and D were shattered. I have been cutting their day time nap down as bed times had become a nightmare but yesterday I couldn't wake them after an he and even after two it was tricky,  so I knew bedtime might be tough. Do finally went down at 9.25, H marginally earlier.  I went to bed at midnight thinking they wouldn't be up until 7.... 5.50! Zzzzzz

    I have just started properly exercising again as I am still carrying some baby weight, although it's a lie to call it baby weight really as in my last pregnancy (lost about 11 weeks ago) I lost half a stone with morning sickness and was down to my previous pregnancy weight soon really its just over eating weight! Anyway I have started doing something called functional fitness and gosh it hurts... H and D like to do something they call being a monkey. Basically they climb and swing off me and gosh for 36 hrs after exercising. I have also signed up to run a half marathon in October!

    Bye for now KB

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    « Reply #5 on: 28/06/17, 22:40 »
    H and D really don't think mummy is all that great at the moment. It would seem all they want is grannnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyy. H has spent two car journeys screaming for her today. We visited a lovely FF friend and her miracle this morning and the three children played beautifully together. After lunch I took my two to soft play as it was wet wet wet. I honestly think owners of soft plays etc think, right how can I make life even harder for parents. So at the soft play we went to today which is in a garden centre, they have the new addition of a ride on tractor right outside the soft play. It was virtually impossible to get H and D into soft play because they wanted to be on the tractor, then once in they kept wanting to  leave. We did have a nice play once I had convinced them they really did want to go 'climbing' and the 'don't fall off game' that we play was met with much hilarity (apart form by the other child who thought they might join in...).

    I spent so much of my career working with disadvantaged children and children with additional needs that I had forgotten what 'normal' language development looked liked. D has a repertoire of about 20 nursery rhymes and they are both talking in 6/7 word sentences. They are only 2 and 3 months old and sometimes, in the middle of a melt down, I have to remind myself of that.

    After tea this evening I asked D to pick up all the pegs he had poured across the kitchen floor. Well, he didn't. Instead he picked up the peg basket, put it on his head and declared it was a crown 'like Eddie's' a reference to Eddie in the Masie book, Masie dresses up. He looked so funny.

    I need to go to bed, cream crackered

    Night all

    KB xxxx

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    Life as a mummy to toddler twins
    « Reply #6 on: 29/06/17, 13:58 »
    Last night athat about 11.30 I heard whimpering on the baby monitor.  When I went to check on the boys I found H half asleep, whimpering, and clinging to D's leg for comfort. Heart melting moment :)

    This morning I was completing the forms I have been sent for the boys latest development check. Honestly it's such a load of rubbish.... does your child cry or have tantrums for long periods of time?  1) what's a long period of time?  3 minutes, 5 minutes, 20 minutes? 2) children have tantrums. It's normal.  Our role as parents is to help them learn to manage their emotions. Then another question,  if your child is upset,  can they calm themselves down within 15 minutes.... ummmmm toddlers can't and shouldn't be able to calm themselves down in 15 minutes,  they need adults to help them with that.  I have amended the form! I am sure they will be very pleased! 

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    « Reply #7 on: 10/12/17, 08:49 »
    Very very long over due updare

    H and D are 2 years 8 months and 24 days

    They are hilariously wonderful most of the time but now fight a lot! They love to be naked and are willy obsessed. It drives me potty.

    Sleeping is finally much improved although they still don't sleep through the night. If they haven't napped bed times are a dream, in bed and asleep by 7.

    I am working more so boys have started nursery. They aren't big fans. It took 8 weeks to settle and H won't eat so we had to drop them to half days. It is a great nursery and one I know very well so I know they are very well cared for but it still breaks my heart dropping them off screaming.  The reduction to half a day means I am not getting the planning time I need so I am back to working every evening which is exhausting and I am sooooo behind with Christmas. Despite that, I feel so very very lucky to have them and be doing all the lovely Christmasy stuff we are doing. Off on a Santa Express train  ride today. Please please please can they get the same present from Father Christmas otherwise one of them will be heart broken....the tears have been spectacular on previous occasions. When we were kids you saw the big man in red once a year and qued for hours. Seems now children see them every week for 6 weeks!  H and D are just starting to understand and for Christmas have asked for an apple, a pear and a little present.  We are doing small stockings from  FC in the hope the boys don't become really materealistic about Christmas and recognising that some children's parents can't afford to buy them lots. I hate the commercialism of Christmas and the idea you have to spend a fortune.  It's magical without that.  Also the boys will be totally spoilt by other people. We are also not doing advent calendars (holding off as long as possible) or the elf thing, as I can't understand why you would. It's not a tradition it's been around what 2 years and as I don't use the word naughty we could hardly have a naughty elf.

    Must fly as being climbed on by toddlers.

    Bye for now
    KB

    P.s  I spend a lot of time wondering how life would have been had baby number 3 joined us in September as they should have. Know we are very lucky with our boys but that doesn't mean we don't grieve for what should have been or that I am not broody! Note to self, having another baby is not a good idea - BT, and crappy cervix = stress

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    « Reply #8 on: 20/12/17, 22:58 »
    Negotiating life as a mum with mum friends is fairly hideous.... so many of them are opinionated and competitive. I have what would probably be considered fairly unique parenting ideas (gentle parenting, extended breastfeeding, Co sleeping etc etc) but they are my parenting ideals and I know they are not for everyone. I have a masters in Early years and lecture in early years so hope I know a fair amount but I would never comment on someone elses parenting choices. It is bloody hard and we are all doing our best. I have a mum friend who was a HV for a year... I know a fair amount about HV training and what is and isn't covered... anyway out with mummy friends last night and a mummy who is breastfeeding wanted a drink.  The current advice is this is fine and what right do any of use have to judge her for wanting a drink anyway.  HV friend basically told her she shouldn't be having a drink. When I tried to explain  that the research suggests only a tiny bit gets in to breast milk and that it metabolises out of your milk as it does your blood stream (we weren't going home for another 3 hours so she was totally fine to have one drink) she said she didn't agree and stormed off. I then heard her slagging me off to someone else and proclaiming  I'm a HV....I have spent today resisting temptation to send her links about it....

    Like my fertility friends and school friends for being so much less complex and less competative. Just nice and normal ...

    Bye for now

    KB

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    « Reply #9 on: 4/01/18, 22:09 »
    So I am attempting to parent gender neutraly. By this I mean I am trying to bring my twins up to know they can be anyone they want to be and everyone is equal no matter their gender. So I had a pedicure today and my boys decided they would like one too. So I painted their toe nails. My neighbour came over and commented 'that's a bit disconcerting' obviously she doesn't agree with boys having their toes nails painted...

    My hope for the future that people stop judging people based on gender, sex, race, ethnicety, and that all children grow up to be who they want to be. 

    Bye for now
    KB