* Author Topic: Happy ending with my twin babas  (Read 4790 times)

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Offline Peony86

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Happy ending with my twin babas
« on: 26/07/17, 08:53 »
Part 1 - Birth story

It's taken us 3 years, 2 ivf cycles, 4 FETs, 2 miscarriages, and tons of meds to get us here where we were so hoping we could be!

This new chapter began last Tuesday when I was admitted to hospital after my 36 week appointment with elevated blood pressure. By Wednesday it had not improved even with medication so I went in for my C section. The whole experience was slightly overwhelming..all emotions rolled into a ball and sitting in my chest! One of the good things about the situation was the fact that I didn't have much time to stress and panic because everything moved so quickly.  I was booked in theatre at 11. My pre op prep was done in the maternity ward. The nurses in the labour and maternity ward were incredible right from the very start, I was really so impressed. I had to shower with chlorhexidine wash the night before and day of the c section. After that was the bit I was dreading..the catheter insertion. It was very uncomfortable and I was so tense, they only got it in on the third try..it was awful. After that..things moved so fast! Before we knew it I was being wheeled to theatre and hubby was getting dressed in his scrubs. Theatre was a different world..it was a very floaty experience. We were introduced to all the doctors and nurses that would be taking care of the babies and me. There were tons of people and i can barely remember anyone there. I had a spinal block done which was not as sore as I thought. And then things got really strange! I didn'the know what to expect and the only way I could describe it is weird!

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    Offline Peony86

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    Happy ending with my twin babas
    « Reply #1 on: 28/07/17, 08:03 »
    Part 2 - Birth story

    The spinal block was such a  strange sensation, my legs went numb pretty quick and my legs just felt so hot. For some weird reason I kept trying to move my toes and couldn't.  I obviously knew that I couldn't but my poor mind kept saying move your toes. I was expecting a pretty high screen between hubby, doctors and I but hubby could basically see the entire procedure.  I felt quite drugged and had a feeling of being there but not there! I was a little scared cos I kept thinking what if I feel the pain or if something happens to me or the babies..I was quite paranoid! Everything happened really quickly..without having time to absorb what was going on, baby boy was born at 11h45 weighing 2.18kg. At 11h47 baby girl was born weighing 2.01kg. I don't even know how to put into words how happy I was. I have never ever felt those kinds of emotions before. Hubby and I were both crying! It was just incredible.  After they took the babies away to check if they were ok. They put them both on my chest. They were so tiny and so perfect..and just thinking about it now makes me cry. After all that I cant really remember much..I just felt really groggy and somehow I ended up back in my room. The morphine was just something else, I felt so drugged. I could barely keep my eyes open. My mom and hubby's parents came to see me and the babies but I was so out of it. It took me a while to feel my legs again and I just wanted to sleep. I had to keep the catheter until the next day and it was just the best feeling when they removed it. I was only able to see my babies the next day because of the morphine but hubby was seeing them all the time, taking pictures and showing them to me. The babies had to go to highcare and baby girl had to be on oxygen for a short period of time. Once my Dr had seen me the next day she said I could go see my babies. Hubby took me in a wheelchair and I could finally see them. I couldn't believe that these two babies were actually all ours!

    Offline Peony86

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    Happy ending with my twin babas
    « Reply #2 on: 30/07/17, 18:19 »
    Recovery

    I will be the first to admit that my pain threshold is pretty low. I was expecting the worst when it came to my post op pain. But it was manageable. I don't know if that was because I was worried about my babies or just overwhelmed that we were finally at the point were we had our babies! I was discharged on Day 4 but my babies had to stay in the high care unit. I didn't realise that they would be admitted for such a long while (12 days in total). Both babies did well but baby boy is stronger than his sister. She had a lower birth weight than he did and she struggled to complete her feeds.

    The worst bit that happened was the fact that no matter how much I tried I wasn't able to produce enough milk. In the first few days there was nothing, then I started getting a few drops of colostrum. My babies had to be fed intravenously for 5 days and during that time I was producing a few mls of colostrum and then a few mls of milk. What made the entire situation worse was the fact that there were a few nurses who were being really awful to me. I don't know how else I could explain to them that there was not enough milk. I was taking pills, supplements, jungle juice. I did everything but it was to no avail. Hubby and I knew these babies had to be put on formula but the nurses and paediatrician kept pressuring me about the milk. Eventually the Dr agreed to start with formula and whatever expressed milk was available. After the relief of knowing my babies would be fed my milk supply increased. It is still not at the point where I have enough for all the feeds for both babies. Now I am taking Espiride 1 three times a day, fenugreek tea and trying to stay as hydrated as possible. I am also ravenous the whole time!

    Offline Peony86

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    Happy ending with my twin babas
    « Reply #3 on: 10/08/17, 18:16 »
    Time seems to be escaping me! My babies are now 3 weeks old and are home for a week and a half! Both babies are doing great.

    My mom was here with me last week and our nanny also started so I've had lots of help at home. It was nice having my mom here, she really helped a lot and enjoyed being around the babies. She was very sad to leave but I was happy to have some space and spend some time with my babies. The nanny is working out well, she helps alot and we are working well together. Last week we also went to the paediatrician and he was very happy with their progress. Baby boy needs to go for another sonar next month so I am quite stressed about the findings. I just want him to be ok.

    I am very stressed about the upcoming weeks..we have lots of people scheduled to visit the babies but also stay over. It's going to be very hectic!

    The babies are still following their hospital routine. We feed and change diapers every 3 hours.  I am still expressing milk but am not putting as much pressure on myself. I'm producing more milk than I used to and I am also breastfeeding the babies. I am just doing what feels right instead of being so hard on myself. I must admit my emotions are up and down, I've had a few tearful moments but most of the time things are so good. Every time I look at my little babies I am so happy. They are just so amazing!

    Offline Peony86

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    Happy ending with my twin babas
    « Reply #4 on: 14/08/17, 17:18 »
    I can't believe it but my babies will be 4 weeks old this week. Things are progressing well. I am really enjoying my time with them and I can't imagine my life without them. I must say the night schedule is quite hectic especially the 2am feed but the sleep deprivation is worth it! Hubby is being a star. He helps with everything. He's been home for the last few days so it's really been lovely being able to spend time as a family. He goes back to work this week so I think I have to take over the 5am feed so he can have some rest in the morning. I can't believe how quickly both babies seem to be growing, they are both gaining weight and are quite wriggly little ones!

    Offline Peony86

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    Happy ending with my twin babas
    « Reply #5 on: 5/09/17, 21:02 »
    It's been too long since I've posted. Days go by without me realising! My babies will be 7 weeks old this week, where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday that they were born!

    The 3 of us have pretty much settled into our routine now. They are on a 3 hourly feeding schedule during the day and 4 hourly at night. They still get diaper changes just before feeds or in between if there is a poo. Currently they are getting a bath every second day but a wipe down in between but think that I will be giving them a bath every day as the weather is warming up. I am still expressing milk and breastfeeding sometimes. The milk situation still stresses me out and I still feel guilty that I am unable to exclusively breastfeed but I have to keep telling myself that I am doing the best I can.

    We've had so many guests over the past few weeks and the stress of it all really wore me down. I'm really glad that's over now and all my attention can be placed on my babies.

    My babies get more beautiful every day and I love just staring at them. Being their mom is so special. 

    Offline Peony86

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    Happy ending with my twin babas
    « Reply #6 on: 15/09/17, 18:28 »
    I keep meaning to update and never get around to doing it! My babies are 8 weeks old this week. It's been extremely hot and the poor babies are struggling as they try to adapt! They seem so grown up now..their features are changing and they are so alert. I've been trying for tummy time every day and have been putting them on the playmat as well. They don't like the playmat as much as I thought they would.

    They've had their vaccinations last weekend and I think I was more upset than they were. Luckily they didn't cry too much and didn't develop fever afterward.

    As for their mom..my skin is the worst it has ever been. I am so self conscious! I have lots of marks too and I keep wondering if it will ever look better! I hate to sound vain but I hope that it will improve.

    Offline Peony86

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    Happy ending with my twin babas
    « Reply #7 on: 20/09/17, 20:39 »
    9 weeks old today! Every week is like an achievement! So I am lucky enough to have help in the form of a nanny. She really is amazing and has been such a huge help to me. Initially I wasn't really happy about the idea of another person being with the babies and me all day but I don't know what I would have done without her. Well she isn't here this week so it's been quite busy thus far. The babies have been pretty well behaved but they do have their moments when they both cry at the same time..I feel pretty helpless in those situations. It can also get a bit lonely..and I know how weird that may sound but I only have the babies to talk to during the day. Hubby has been trying to help before and after work which I really do appreciate. 

    I've been pretty moody with hubby. I guess sometimes I feel insecure. If someone questions what I am doing I take it really personally. In some ways I feel like I have to prove myself because these are ivf babies. I was watching Call the midwife and someone said not all women get a magical feeling that turns them into a mom, it's the hard work that you put in that gives you that feeling. It is a lot of hard work but so incredibly rewarding. When I look at their beautiful faces every thing is so worth it!

    Offline Peony86

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    Happy ending with my twin babas
    « Reply #8 on: 5/10/17, 00:14 »
    Babies were 11 weeks old yesterday! They are growing beautifully. They are gaining weight consistently and that newborn look has completely disappeared. I get the most wonderful feeling when they smile..they look so cute. They also turn towards voices now and are able to follow me around the room. They are so alert.

    I'm up at this ridiculous hour because we are all leaving to go back to our hometown for my brother's wedding. I'm stressed out because this is the babies first flight and also because there are going to be tons of people at the wedding! My mom's house will also be filled with guests for the most part. So I am crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. I'm also hoping that we've packed everything we need! It's scary to take the babies out of the comfort of our home where everything is so organised! We have a crazy early flight and I actually have to be up at half 1 to start getting ready..it's going to be a super long day!

    Hubby and I have been having lots of silly arguments. I tend to get overwhelmed and anxious, then we will have a fight.  It usually doesn't last long but it can be so deflating. It just seems as if we are both so much more impatient with each other.



    Offline Peony86

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    Happy ending with my twin babas
    « Reply #9 on: 15/10/17, 15:43 »
    I'm feeling a bit frustrated at the moment. Hubby and I are annoyed with each other. I sometimes feel like I have to supervise everything including hubby. Don't get me wrong, hubby has been amazing right from the very start but sometimes I wish my poor mind could take a break! It's like I have to explain what needs to be done in such minute detail..I might as well just do it by myself. I am by no means being ungrateful for everything he does for us but sometimes my mind just feels exhausted. I just wish he could take control of the situation. Yesterday was vaccinations for the babas so we had to do diaper changes and feeds before they got their shots. The clinic is within a pharmacy so we had shopped for baby essentials, hubby went to pay and I started making up the milk in a very tiny baby room. When hubby comes in, I tell him at least 3 times, baby boy needs an outfit change because he's had an accident. He just stands there trying to figure out how to change his diaper without even realising about the clothes! In the end I did the outfit change, diaper changes and he just gave baby boy a bottle. It sounds trivial even when I type it but it just drives me nuts. On one hand I'm a complete control freak and on the other I just want him to work like a well programmed robot  ;D I know I'm just nuts!

    Other than that..babies are doing wonderfully. They were 12 weeks old last week. Baby boy now weighs 5.2kg and baby girl is 4.4kg.

    Work is weighing on my mind.  I had to go in last week for a performance review which I thought was ridiculous as I am on maternity leave. I really do not like my new manager, he is a chauvinist and says such inappropriate things. I really don't want to think about working with him next year!