* Author Topic: Trying to decide next steps: anyone have OE success at 44?  (Read 1327 times)

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Offline Poppy41London

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Hi all, so I am trying to decide what my next steps should be and it's really hard. I have had three cycles of of OE ICSI with my husband, the last of which we were thrilled to find resulted in pregnancy. However, despite it seeming all was going well and seeing a strong heartbeat at 7.5 weeks, devastatingly at 11 weeks and 5 days we had a scan and found our baby had died and I had a MMC. This was only 6 weeks ago so is very fresh and as well as the loss, the MMC experience was horrendously painful and traumatic.

Now I am trying to think about next steps but know I can't face anything until the new year when I will be 44. My consultant agrees I need that time to recover both physically and emotionally. So I asked him what my chances would be at that point if we tried one more time with OE and he said that at 44 the statistics are that only 5% of women get pregnant with IVF and only 3% end up carrying the baby to term. I knew the numbers were low, but that is really, really low. It doesn't mean it can't happen, but it's such a small chance... And the stats show that even if the IVF works, 40% of women at 44 will miscarry, primarily due to ageing eggs and chromosomal abnormalities. He said it isn't really about your AMH levels etc, it's about the age of the eggs...

So I guess I am wondering do any of you know women who got pregnant at 44 with OE and carried a healthy baby to term? We all want to have a baby with our own egg, but how realistic is this? I need to decide whether to try again one more time with OE or move to donor egg. I don't want to kid myself but I also don't want to give up too soon. It's just such a hard decision to make. So any input or experiences would be welcomed both in terms of positive outcomes with OE at this age and/or how you came to the decision to actually move on to donor egg. Feeling confused and unsure.

Thanks.

Poppy.

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    Offline Nicnik

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    Hi Poppy,

    I came across your post and didn't want to read and run.

    So sorry to hear about your recent loss  ^hugme^ - it is truly heartbreaking when you eventually get your BFP and then you get the awful shock at the next scan. I understand how you are feeling (as you will see by my signature, we had exactly the same happen 2 years ago). You definitely need to take some time out to heal and recover mentally and physically, but as you will know, it is good to have even a rough plan in place as to what you will do next, to help you get through the grief. 

    I am currently in the same predicament as you, I'm really struggling to make a decision on next step.  I know for sure that DE would give us a much higher chance of success, but then it seems there are quite a lot of stories on here of women in their 40's who have given it 'one last shot' and got their miracle baby.  I an definitely open to DE, but just not quite sure I want to give up yet on OE. 

    Are you staying with the same clinic whether you decide on OE or DE?  I know it is not very common, but it is definitely not unheard of for women of 42,43,44 to fall pregnant with OE, it's a case of whether we are willing to take that chance I suppose. 

    We are speaking with some different clinics for opinions and the two we have spoken with so far both have different ideas - one said it's time for DE, the other said to give another go with OE, but a different type of protocol to what I've done in the past, along with some additional testing.  Unsure if you would consider other clinics however, one that we are speaking with is Serum in Athens, who seem to be the one that most 'older' ladies go to as a last chance with OE.

    Sorry I cannot be of much help, but keep me posted on what you decide.  :) xx

    Offline Poppy41London

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    Hi Niknik, thanks for your reply. If we tried OE again we would go with the same clinic because we are consultant led and our consultant is really great. We have also tried different protocols and he said we would throw everything at it if we went again. I really trust him and that helps. I don't think changing clinics would lead to a different result.

    If we did DE we would go overseas though - because of the waiting times in the UK mainly, but also the cost. Our consultant said the main/best places are Spain, Czech Republic and Greece so I have started investigating these just to see what is involved and get my head around it as a way of helping inform my decision.

    I will keep you posted on where I end up with it all but think any firm decision will take a while.  Best of luck with your next steps too. X

    Offline Poppy41London

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    Hi Editha, thanks for responding. I know that occasionally miracle babies happen at my age, it's just weighing up whether to put the energy, time and money into keeping on trying for a miracle to see if I will be blessed with one, or to move on. I am really happy for your work colleague - do you know for sure that she didn't use a donor though? Some people don't tell others when they do... As to your great grandmother, that sounds amazing! She must have had some special eggs. Hopefully it runs in the family. X

    Offline WatermelonBelly

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    In your shoes, I think I would want to try OE if I had produced quite a few eggs in previous cycles. I would hope that the chances of one good embryo making it would be relatively high compared to the statistical 3%. It would also depend on whether we both felt like we tried all the lifestyle changes and supplements etc. You do have some time yet to move onto DE if you're not quite ready at the mo.

    Offline miamiamo

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    Hi, I can't help with personal experiences, but a neighbour of mine got pregnant with her 3d baby when she was about 44. From what I know she was shocked, as she wasn’t ttc-ing cs she had 2 children at high school. It was natural conceiving without any fertility treatments.

    Offline highlandgirl

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    Hi Poppy,

    Have a look at my thread over 45 OE it has a few stories of OE success there are 2 threads the older one and the new one - maybe get a cuppa and have a read :)
    x
    PS I am 47 still trying with OE xx