* Author Topic: Over 40 - anyone else about to start an IVF cycle?  (Read 94104 times)

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Offline pauli

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Over 40 - anyone else about to start an IVF cycle?
« Reply #150 on: 29/12/17, 16:12 »
Hi Tootles, sorry to hear that you had a few rocky days with clinic not being very helpful. I cannot offer any advice on MC, maybe other ladies here or Dr Google can offer some useful info, what to investigate etc. 

It is tough to choose a clinic. After the local NHS clinic, we signed up with a clinic in London which reported the highest success rates in the country. The bill was equally high (possibly the ‘highest’ in the country too ;-) unfortunately with the same BFN outcome. In my opinion paying a premium for IVF does not guarantee a better outcome.

Doctors offer different ‘possible’ explanations but very often they have no clue why so many IVF cycles fail. I feel as it is up to you to choose what you believe. ‘Under the influence’ of our Dr in the USA, my DH is a strong believer of PGS. Only if the embryo is chromosomally normal, it can lead to a viable pregnancy. I am still on the fence about this, but have recently come across more studies and information in support of this.
 
If you have a good ‘seed’ but things for tits-up, then the reason is in the ‘soil’. In principle I believe this to me true but unfortunately I find this advice more suitable for younger ladies who have time at their side.     

The only advice I can offer is to look at selecting the clinic from a practical & ‘logistical’ perspective (if the money is not a factor). Local clinic means convenience as no extra travel for the appointments, scans, blood tests, egg collection … If clinic is in a different city (UK or abroad), how easy it is to arrange all of the above and fit the travel alongside a full-time job? Not an easy decision, good luck!! Xx

Butterfly, how was your appointment today?

Lulu, hope you enjoyed the day shopping! What did you choose for your Xmas present or was it a surprise? 

Strawberry, hope the hysto in Jan will go fine. I would tell them about your reaction to the sedation as there are different drugs and the clinic should be able to offer an alternative to the drugs that caused the reaction previous time.     

Cece, hope you enjoyed your time up North, we were also spending some time there with my DH family. Did you avoid snow on your travels?

Syd, all the best with your DE cycle in a new year!

Ladies, enjoy the last few days of 2017 and New Year’s Eve (before the new year’s resolutions kick in)! Xxx 

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    Offline Butterfly1976

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    Over 40 - anyone else about to start an IVF cycle?
    « Reply #151 on: 29/12/17, 19:03 »
    Hi Ladies

    Tootles - so sorry to read your news, I totally get what you mean about the feeling of relief when AF finally arrives and you know where you stand. I'm glad to read that you have more cycles in you, the more I read on here from you brave ladies, the more I know that IVF really isn't for the faint hearted! - Oh and don't you dare go anywhere Lady, this was your thread to start with!  ^hugme^

    I'm sorry to hear that Nurture haven't been very supportive either, it's always been my experience that there is way too much of the "well it happens" attitude in doctors when it comes to miscarriage and even stillbirth. Frankly I think it sucks and I'm sure much more could be done if we knew more about why pregnancies go wrong. The NHS don't even want to see you until just before the 12 week scan and there's zero support if you don't make it that far. Sorry to rant but it touched a nerve  ^bigbad^

    AFM - Thanks for the good wishes for the consents appointment today, it went well I think. DH now knows how to do the injections (I'm chicken so am going to make him do it, poor soul lol) so ready for down regging on Monday - Happy New Year to me lol

    Here's hoping for a lucky 2018 for all of us  ^pray^

    Love to all xx

    Offline CEce40

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    « Reply #152 on: 29/12/17, 21:56 »
    Merry Christmas everyone, hope you all had a great day and got spoilt rotten.

    Oh Tootles, what can I say, I'm so gutted for you. Such a cruel business this IVF lark. I feel more angry for you than I was for me. That's great if you feel like you've got two more rounds in you, more chances to switch up the protocol a bit and strike it lucky. Hope you suitably tapped up the commiseration Thunderbirds. Diamond White was a bit of a blast from the past. Do you remember mixing it with Castaway to form the classy Blastaway? 90s decadence. Keep the faith that we'll be bump bitches in 2018.

    Syd72 - sorry, what? you monitor the position and feel of your cervix - are you a gymnast?? I can only imagine I'd need one leg in the sink and possibly an emergency call to the fire brigade to join in on that malarcky. You have serious talents, lady. I do recall many years ago getting my coil fitted by a nurse who remarked that I had a beautiful cervix - I've lived off that anecdote for years! I fully understand your impatience to get on with things. I think we'll be going down the donor route now, for a lot of the reasons you mentioned. How did you choose your clinic/country?

    Butterfly - Good luck for Monday. You're a braver woman than me, I'm not sure I'd let DH come after me with a pointy needle, he'd take far too much pleasure in that initial jab for my liking!

    StrawberrySundae - Are you at Serum as well as Syd72? how did you choose them? I'm interested if the country plays a role in DE decisions.

    Pauli - I didn't manage to avoid the snow, unfortunately. It took me 7 hours to do a 4 hour journey on Wednesday. There's only so many times you can listen to 80s dance party before the traffic depression kicks in.

    Hope you all have a fab new year. 2017 seems to have been pants for all of us but I've never met a bunch of braver women with so much chutzpah we'd give even He Man a run for his money. 2018 is our year and by the power of grayskull we'll smash this infertility shitstorm! (possibly another censor coming my way!!)


    Offline Syd72

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    « Reply #153 on: 30/12/17, 09:32 »
    Ha ha, I have long arms...  Just to be clear, I'm not wandering around with my hand shoved up there all the time, just used to check sometimes when we were trying naturally... 

    I uhm'd and ah'd for a long time about choosing a clinic as initially I wanted donor id release, I wanted the baby to be able to track the egg donor if they wanted to.  However, waiting times seem to be generally longer in the UK.  Also I'd read so much about what a great clinic Serum is and this particularly seems to be the case regarding donor treatment.  Under the "Greece" section have a look at Agates file, it's one of the pinned documents.  She talks about how much care Penny (the clinic director) takes when choosing a donor and how good she is at matching people.  In the end I decided I wanted the best chance of a great match and healthy baby, that was the most important thing for me.  My partner doesn't want to go the id release route so he was happy to go with Greece.  There look to be another couple of great clinics in Greece.

    There seem to be some great clinics in Spain too but most of them seem to want to do a dummy cycle before the real one and as we live in Hong Kong that would have been tricky.

    Ziln in the Czech Republic also gets some great reviews on here.

    Having said all of that, I'm feeling a bit nervous right now.  On the latest Serum thread it's just been one bfn after another, I haven't seen a bfp on there for the past couple of months and it's the same on the Serum social media page.  I feel stupid even saying this, I'm not a superstitious person at all but I seem to have convinced myself that there's a run of bad luck there at the moment.

    Cece your journey sounds awful although I have to disagree on the 80s dance party, you can never have too much 80s music...

    Butterfly good luck with the injections, there's no way in a million years my OH would do them!

    Thanks Pauli,  When in January is your appointment?

    Tootles, completely understand where you're coming from.  The after care is so important, whatever the result.  Surely after 3 losses they will investigate?

    Strawberry, I would mention it, then they can adjust for it, I'm sure it wouldn't stop them going ahead.  When I was there a couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I had a blood clot on my lung 5 years ago, they just did a couple of extra checks.

    Thanks Lulu, hope you had fun with your delayed Christmas present shopping.

    The one good thing about cycling in January is I don't have the usual post-Christmas blues.  I love Christmas so much I normally feel really fed up by 27 December, plus dread going back to work after new year, we always close down between Christmas and New Year.  At the moment I just feel really excited about getting going.

    Happy New Year all x

    Offline LuluLimon

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    « Reply #154 on: 30/12/17, 17:53 »
    Well my present ended up being a norovirus-! Both DH and I succumbed with a fight for the bathroom. And then my period, soooo attractive. Typical! But overall I guess it means that the excess of Xmas was neutralised!
    I swear this game of dice is all about numbers and luck. Ditto sentiments on the treatment you get when sth goes wrong before 12w.
    I have never forgot the sh#t doctor who told me at my 11w scan on 1st MC "oh well there's nothing there now, you'll just have to go home and wait". Then every appt for counselling in the pregnancy ward- tactful! So many ppl don't have a clue about our battles.
    A team of She-Ras indeed! Our combined energy and determination could solve many a global problem 😎

    Sorry no personals (I'm only just feeling lucid) other than sending big 2018 baby vibes to all you lovely ladies! 😘

    Offline Glitterbabe2017

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    « Reply #155 on: 31/12/17, 11:04 »
    Hi lovely ladies

    I am 3 weeks short of my 40th and starting my first cycle of IVF.  Started the injections - Suprecur and Menopur a few days ago, the injections has left me tired and sometimes feeling a bit nausea although never actually being sick.  And now I have a cold, hope it does not affect my chances as I only have 1 cycle of ivf on the NHS.  Not sure how to fund it if this fails, the chances of success I was told for me is 25% which is relatively low so not expecting too much.

    Offline CEce40

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    « Reply #156 on: 1/01/18, 17:29 »
    Happy new year everyone

    Welcome Glitterbabe2017, good luck with your cycle. I wouldn't worry about your cold, dont think it will affect things, just take it easy and use it as an excuse to put your feet up.

    Syd, thanks for the info on the DE clinics. The run of BFNs doesn't sound good when you're in the run up to a cycle, but fingers crossed you'll be the one to break it. The luck needs to change at some point.

    Lululimon, sorry you're ill. At least you shared it with your husband, v romantic! Jealous that you've redistributed the christmas indulgence, I've eaten everything I can get my hands on!

    Well ladies, I had a positivity bypass yesterday. Total breakdown. I don't cry often, but when I do, oh man, I cry ugly! we're talking snot bubbles, warthog snorts, dog panting, face gurning, you get the picture. So what brought on this outpouring of negativity? jumping into bed for a little spot of afternoon delights, obviously!!

    This year has been brutal. I try to take the positives out of everything as no one wants to be unhappy all the time, right? but a full year of pumping hormones in and out of my body has left its mark - uncontrollable outpourings of emotion at ridiculous times. I hated 2017 and I can't take another one. I'm sick of constant headaches, constant nausea, night sweats, weight gain, bloating, mood swings etc etc I dont know what 'normal' is anymore. It feels like the drugs have never really left my system, I've just been topping them up every time. Add in the emotional rollercoaster, the financial outlay, the 'life in limbo' feeling, blah blah, I feel like my body has finally just said "we're done". I don't even feel sexy anymore. We've gone from fun sex to baby making sex to no sex (painful stim time or the joys of the messy pessaries). I really am a mess. If I was 5 years younger I'd be telling myself to stop, take a year off, refresh, but no such luck when your facing down the barrel of the age gun. I was all ready to give up completely, grab my redundancy with both hands and run off to travel the world.

    So, after a good crying/snotting session into my naked husband's chest (I mentioned we'd jumped into bed) with a glorious and long missed erection disintegrating before my eyes (the dodgy hormones really pick their moments!), I pulled myself together and DH dragged me away from the ledge. We had a lovely meal, toasted the end of a bad year and vowed not to let 2018 go the same way. I was already thinking that DE were the way forward, but my NYE meltdown has confirmed it. I know its the end, I need to stop. I'm ready to move on.

    Infertility is such an invisible thing. I think that's what makes it harder. If we can't even rely on medical professionals getting it right then how can we expect anyone who's had no experience to understand what it's like. Don't get me wrong, everyone has their struggles, this is no more or less of a battle than other people face. It's just not recognised as such, which I think is the hard bit.

    I hope everyone had a great NYE; one with less snot and more Funtime Frankie. I'll hang around on this thread as well as Tootles, if that's alright with everyone. You're a cracking bunch of chicks and, to be honest, any group who can combine discussions on Moomins, vulvas, teenage acne and air kissing is a group I want to be part of! Happy 2018 to everyone x

    Offline Kris76

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    « Reply #157 on: 2/01/18, 11:33 »
    Hello lovely ladies.
    I'm new to the site and this thread. I've just been reading through the thread this morning. First day back at work but not particularly motivated today.
    Tootles, I'm so sorry to hear. My heart goes out to you.
     I'm so encouraged by all the strength shown by you all having been through so much.
    CEce40 I also had a massive ugly, snort bubbling cry over Christmas. Sometimes you just need to get these emotions out...or eat them, like I did over Christmas.
    I had my first cycle in December and was due to test on Christmas day. AF arrived on the 23rd, so that was that. I'll be going back to the Lister for a follow up. However, they have pretty much said it's down to old eggs. I'm taking comfort and positivity from so many women in their 40s still using their own eggs successful.
    Has anyone tried acupuncture? I am thinking of trying it out but not sure if I'm just wasting my time and money. Emma Cannon who is a fertility specialist charges £130 per 30 acupuncture session and £250 for a consultation. I can't help but think that the desperation we feel leads them to charge premium prices. Does anyone have any thoughts or recommendations for acupuncturists?
    Best of luck to you all. Here's to a successful 2018.

    Offline Tootles

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    « Reply #158 on: 2/01/18, 13:19 »
    Happy New Year Ladies

    CEce40 - I know you're not big on the old hug front, but I just want to give you the largest squeeze right now.  It sounds like a mini breakdown / much needed release went on. I hope it was like being sick after a good night out, when you just feel so much better after it's all out. Pity about the timing like you say, but better in the arms of your hubby even if it was at the price of some afternoon hanky panky.  As much as I want to shout to you nooooo, come back, just one more go.... I know that the relief of making a decision on, what is without question, one of the hardest subjects you'll ever have to face, is brave beyond words and I have nothing but complete admiration for you. Your body and mind have clearly come together to tell your heart what to do, and if that's to stop then so be it.

    I've got to admit, the feeling of being drug free is amazing. Having a break from obsessing about injection times, numbers, scan dates, supplements, endless recipes for avocados and pineapple... it's a real relief.  However, if you have a change of heart, especially after the gloom of early Jan lifts, then I for one will be routing for you like a crazed One Direction fan.

    Hi Glitterbabe - welcome to the thread. Happy pre 40th birthday! Hope your cold has eased off.

    Hello Kris76 - so sorry to hear you had to deal with that over Christmas. It's just beyond unfair. It does get a bit easier, even if it's just preparing yourself for another go and being measured in your expectations and emotions. I was a proper diva at home during round one. But round two was so matter of a fact, and didn't intrude nearly as much on our day to day lives. I'm thinking about acupuncture too. I've never been convinced by it before, but I'm ready to give it a go as some ladies really swear by it. A friend also said hypnotherapy can help too, but when she described it I just don't think I'd be able to keep a straight face. The therapist made her talk to her ovaries and find her "inner-momma" - yep, definately not for me!

    Lulu - hope that you're over the virus. Great timing! I think it's been doing the rounds. Hope you were stocked up on loo roll! Glad it's not just me that thinks that the care pre 12 weeks is pants.  It's been the one thing that has surprised me the most. Miscarriage just feels like a flippant term, and a signal for IVF clinics and some doctors to just close the door, and tell you to come back when you're either ready to spend a load more cash, or when you're "properly" pregnant.  Telling you to go home and wait is terrible!  It's not like a little cold or a sprained ankle! A bit like your norovirus, I lost complete control of everything this time. Heaving into the sink, trying not to miss the loo for the other end - horrendous pain.  It's awful. I'm flabbergasted that it's treated so dismissively.

    Syd - hows it going? Don't worry about the run of BFNs at Serum. It means that all of the negative cycles are done and dusted and so fingers crossed you will be the next BFP.  We are certainly overdue some good news! Hope it goes well for you. Get those 80s tunes on chick, and let Paul Young and Bucks Fizz serenade you to a BFP X

    Afm, I'm channeling the gods of eternal youth to have a word with my eggs and tell them to recapture their fitter, healthier days. I will be experimenting with some grime music, updating my Nokia 3310 and applying copious amounts of glitter and diamonte stones to my whole face area whenever I go out.  Hand me the prit-stick and stand back kids.

    I've also got my GP to refer me to Professor Quenby who runs a recurrent miscarriage research centre in Coventry.  Hoping this might be a more positive route as Prof Quenby comes highly recommended and apparently is one of the few professionals that takes early miscarriage seriously.   

    That said, I'll be nipping to WHSmith at lunch time to stock up on glitter, just in case.  Peace-out xx








    Offline Tiger Smiles

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    « Reply #159 on: 2/01/18, 17:16 »
    Hey all,
    Just popping on to say Happy New Year. I know this thread has been tumultuous to say the least with all our ups and downs. But it's a new year and we have to keep the faith that it will happen. I'm currently in my fertile period, so before we try the needle merry go round again my DH is getting a lot of you know what! ;D
    Keep smiling and strong fab 40's  ^hugme^