* Author Topic: Over 40 - anyone else about to start an IVF cycle?  (Read 93824 times)

0 Members

Offline Efi78

  • Gold Member
  • *****
modify
Over 40 - anyone else about to start an IVF cycle?
« Reply #60 on: 21/11/17, 22:57 »
Hi CEce40

As i have been there I have one advice. Until you fall pregnant continue living your life and make the choices you would make normally. If you want to change jobs change jobs. You never know when the baby will arrive so you have to enjoy yourself in the meantime. When the baby comes then you make decisions around maternity etc. I was in the same position and deeply unhappy with work. Eventually I decided to change. As infertility is very stressful you need to fill your life with things that make you happy. You can't let it overshadow your life.

As for feeling bad for announcing you are pregnant as soon as you join a company:
1) who cares? You are going to have a baby. Far more important than your collegues opinion
2) sorry if I sound ruthless but I don't think that companies care much for their employees. They wouldn't blink an eye If they had to fire you. Personally I wouldn't give a s..t if I fell pregnant as soon as I joined. As for ivf, don't tell them. Take some days off or say you have some medical tests and as it is personal you don't want to give more details at the moment.



FertilityFriends

  • Advertisement
  • ***

    Offline Tootles

    • Sr. Member
    • ****
    modify
    Over 40 - anyone else about to start an IVF cycle?
    « Reply #61 on: 22/11/17, 06:28 »
    That sounds really positive Cece40. Good to move on to stims ( you on Gonal F?) and sooo nice to know there are follies in there. Hopefully your luminous wee will light the way for them!!  I was taking wheatgrass for a while - that did all sorts in that department!

    On to work....yes please, I have tonnes of steam to let off there....

    In my head I totally agree with you Efi78. What you are saying makes complete sense, especially with big corporates.  Plus, and without wanting to burn my bra, we have more than enough extra burdens in life being female, without feeling guilty about pregnancy and IVF at work.

    I am totally with you Cece40 about feeling trapped though. And I hear you sister....maternity leave, flexible working, being somewhere long enough to know when you can disappear for appointments and all that jazz.

    I've worked for the same company since graduating nearly 20 years ago. I used to love it. I now absolutely hate it. It's gone from a small company to a nasty big American machine where employees are nothing but a number. It's driven by aggressive profit making and is run like a private boys club. 

    So why can't I up and leave? I know it'd be easy to get another job as Im lucky enough to get approached quite often ( there's arent many females in my line of work and companies want to get there ovary statistics up - as long as the lady in question doesn't have 'too much' ambition).

    I reckon it's down to fear, laziness, and being in that comfort zone. Right now, in the deep end of IVF, I can't imagine leaving as it would just add a whole new layer of anxiety for me.  I wish I had your strength Efi78 but I'm saddened to admit that I'm going to sit it out, and if the day comes when I can take maternity leave, I'm going to take full and complete advantage wherever I can. 







    Offline Efi78

    • Gold Member
    • *****
    modify
    Over 40 - anyone else about to start an IVF cycle?
    « Reply #62 on: 22/11/17, 07:18 »
    Tootles
    It's not about being strong it's about taking care of yourself. Since I changed jobs two years ago I fell pregnant twice and miscarried. You never know when you are falling pregnant and if it going to work. It may be today it be in 2 years. You can't be unhappy until it happens.

    Offline CEce40

    • Full Member
    • ***
    modify
    Over 40 - anyone else about to start an IVF cycle?
    « Reply #63 on: 22/11/17, 11:20 »
    Yes, exactly. This is totally the debate I've been having with myself over the past year. I feel like you're both my little conscience monkeys sat on my shoulders, whacking me over the head going "do it", "don't do it", "do it" ................

    With hindsight I should have left 3 years ago and carried on as normal, just as you suggest Efi. The longer I left it then the harder it came to leave. I've just done 4 fresh cycles back to back from Jan this year, that's a lot of time away from work and I'm not sure I would have been able to do that in a new job.

    Plus we always thought it would work with each cycle. I'm less optimistic now. If this one fails we may move to DE, which I'm guessing is a much longer lead in with finding donors, syncing etc, so now may be the right time to make the break.

    Like you Tootles, I was thinking that the stress of a new company would be greater than staying where I am. But the flu gave me the wake up call about how unhappy I really am and now I feel like motivation and passion I'll get from starting a new job will only help my whole outlook and a happy me will hopefully make a happy baby  ^pray^

    The relief I feel having just make the decision to leave makes me sure it's the right thing - obvs if I get a BFP from this cycle I may change my mind.........

    Tootles - I'm on Menopur. I used gonal F on my first cycle and I was on the verge of serial killer! the crazy train was not only approaching my station it was on the platform, fully loaded and awaiting extra coaches!! I switched to Menopur on my 2nd cycle and it suits me a lot better.

    Offline Molly78

    • Sr. Member
    • ****
    modify
    Over 40 - anyone else about to start an IVF cycle?
    « Reply #64 on: 22/11/17, 20:18 »
    I agree you shouldnít feel guilty, large companies cope. I work in HR for a large American company and can relate to some of the things you saying, however, the division I work for is pretty fair and they have been really supportive with flexible working even though itís a very male dominated, traditional environment. Overall all though I m afraid we re just a number in these type of machines and I have seen so many people give so much to the company for probably little in return in the long run.
    If your job is causing stress then you should explore other options, you can feel like your not going anywhere  on this journey afraid to do anything from holidays to parties to your career too 😌

    I donít think this cycle has worked for me, had terrible night sweats the last few nights which isnít a good sign for me. Thought this one may have worked with two good blasts and immune support but I donít think itís going to be.   Xx

    Offline Tootles

    • Sr. Member
    • ****
    modify
    Over 40 - anyone else about to start an IVF cycle?
    « Reply #65 on: 23/11/17, 07:44 »
    Morning Ladies

    Molly78, when do you test to see if it's worked? I know it's so much harder to have hope when you've been through the mill, but keep going. Sending lots of positive vibes to you. Do you know what causes the night sweats?

    Cece40, I've heard Gonal F can really send some folks nuts! A friend had to stop her cycle as she just couldn't cope with it.  Good that you've found an alternative that suits you better.

    On the work front, I massively envy and respect the decision to leave if you're not happy. If you feel it's an opportunity, or you can benefit from getting a buzz out of a new challenge then that's brilliant.  I agree, no point in being miserable in a job if you can see a way out. I guess I just don't see a way out at the moment. Probably because I've been there so long. Also the pressure of being the main breadwinner blah blah blah. I can hear myself making excuses!!

    I like to think (dream) that once I have a baby I'll be able to get the maternity package and then give up work (I have rehearsed my resignation speech and it's fierce) and open a cafe / gift shop/ garden centre and live happily ever after baking scones and selling plants. That is what happens right??!



    Offline Efi78

    • Gold Member
    • *****
    modify
    Over 40 - anyone else about to start an IVF cycle?
    « Reply #66 on: 23/11/17, 18:15 »
    Girls
    We all want to have babies and it will be great when it happens.
    However, life is not just children. It's so much more. You can't postpone your life until you have a child. You have to leave your life as normal and on the side try for a baby.
    Also, when we manage to have a baby we have  to be good parents. The only way that you can make your children happy is when you are happy first. Also, if you keep postponing now you will be postponing forever. Now you can't leave because of IVF. When you have a baby you can't leave because you have a family and it's not a good time with a new baby. Then the children grow up and you find another excuse. And gradually you become miserable and this will impact you and your family.
    And what happens in the highly unlikely event that you don't manage to have a baby? Everything else will also be negative and miserable.
    You build a happy life and you try for a baby on the side. You don't let this dominate your whole life.

    Offline Tiger Smiles

    • Full Member
    • ***
    modify
    Over 40 - anyone else about to start an IVF cycle?
    « Reply #67 on: 23/11/17, 22:21 »
    Hi, just started what is unbelievably my 5th round of ICSI/IVF and down regging with beloved Buserlin. Ughh!
    I never thought it would take this long and certainly didn't think waking up before daylight and injecting myself would become normal.
    Needle, cup of tea and ready to start the day  ;D Trying to keep a smile on my face and a needle in my stomach at the same time. Lol
    I'm fabulous  40+ and using my own eggs, but can't see a thread on her for November/Dec 17 cycle buddies or would be great to be in a thread with ladies who are currently doing it.

    Offline Tootles

    • Sr. Member
    • ****
    modify
    Over 40 - anyone else about to start an IVF cycle?
    « Reply #68 on: 24/11/17, 12:11 »
    Hopefully fifth time lucky Tiger Smiles. It's amazing how quickly the injections become the norm.  I do mine at 8pm and have taken to getting into bed straight after - living the dream!?!

    Just back from my second scan. 15 follicles and I'm told everything looked normal albeit my right ovary is out performing my left.  Looking like egg collection will be next Friday, all being well.

    Beard update - yep, still plucking.

    Job update - still hate it!

    Diet update - early lunch of two eggs on toast, and a Greggs sausage role for pudding!


    Offline CEce40

    • Full Member
    • ***
    modify
    Over 40 - anyone else about to start an IVF cycle?
    « Reply #69 on: 24/11/17, 15:27 »
    Hi Tigersmiles, I'm on my 4th round so just behind you in the veteran leagues. I've switched protocols this time and giving the short one a go so no buserlin for me and far fewer needles this time - weirdly it feels like I'm missing something!

    Tootles, 15 follies is great, I'd be over the moon with that. I've got my scan next Friday so we can be hosp buddies. How are you feeling? bloated or not too bad?