* Author Topic: Low AMH / High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 6  (Read 124994 times)

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Offline Sunshine122

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Low AMH / High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 6
« Reply #240 on: 20/02/18, 09:29 »
Just a quick one from me...

Tily, am so so sorry that things havenít gone well for you, its so devastating as we invest so much in this, but Iím glad you have such a good support network around you with your DH and colleagues. I agree with the other ladies that you most likely were triggered too early.  In my 3rd cycle I had 10 follicles - record for me - but 8 of them were apparently empty and only 1 was mature enough to fertilise!  Was absolutely shocked and gutted. Great news re fostering, i really admire that you are able to do something so positive.

Klik, so pleased all went well for you and that you will be able to get on with transfer asap, fingers tightly crossed for you.

Anna, reading your story about your relationship with your parents has made me feel so sad for you that they could make you feel that way. You are definitely not selfish for not wanting to consider adoption. Sending hugs.

Hello to everyone else xx

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    Offline Mac78

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    Low AMH / High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 6
    « Reply #241 on: 20/02/18, 13:11 »
    Hi ladies,

    I am sorry but this is going to be a long one. I decided to tell you, girls, a bit more about myself after Anna and Klik said I might have conflicts feeling about the IFV process, which is true to some extent. The thing is I just had enough of letting my infertility to define who I am as I feel this what I have been doing for the last 3 years.

    Just a quick bio about myself and I hope this will help you to understand why I feel this way. I left home when I was 14 years old. I started working as a nanny and domestic helper when I was 12/13, which is very common in South America. I would work all day and go to school in the evening. I've come from a big family with 5 sisters, only 3 share the same father as my mum was never lucky with any relationship and now I know this is also due to the fact that she fled  home to get away from her abusive and alcoholic father when she was only 13 years old. When I was about to turn 15 I heard about an opportunity to work as Housekeeper  in a town where I would be able to attend a good college and I was so tired of my mum's relationship failures that were  turning  on lives apart as we were constantly  moving from a place to another that I just took the chance and went for it. Looking back, I think it was the bravest thing I ever done in my life as I didn't know anything about this family and you hear a lot about young girls  being fooled and ending up working as sex slave and sometimes never to be seen again, but I was so desperate that I didn't think about any of that and my mum was so lost in her own issues that she didn't really care. I was lucky that I ended up living with a decent family and even though I was there to do  home shores; from cooking to looking after an old lady I never felt like I was doing 'work' from the begining I felt in love with them  and this went on for 4 years, after college I wanted to do something else with my life and I told them and their response was that  I had become to be  part of  the family and I could do anything with my life but they wanted me to stay living with them until I had my career sorted and this was the first time I had a real sense of belonging .. They are still part of my life and I don't know where would I be without them, but my teens were not easy at all as I had to overcome the fact that my mum was lost on her own bubble to care about me and I didn't know my biological father and it was hard to think that he didn't want anything to do with me, so through my teens I had this sense of not belonging to anyone or anywhere and I used to think that I would never want to have a child and I didn't want to have  a boyfriend either, while my friends were sharing their first time experience  I hadn't even kissed as my first kiss was at 17. A lot happened from 18 to 26 when I left my country to study English and to travel in  Europe, but to cut it short - when I decided to do leave my country I had full support of my 'family', so I saved as much money as I could then quit my job and without thinking too much I was on a plane to France, when I had never even  left my State. I was in a relationship back then and I remember he was ready to marry and have kids and I said I don't want it right now and this what I am doing so I told him I want  you to come with me but if you  won't I will go by myself and he did come with me, but I took the leadership of our lives from deciding  where to study to where to live and this how our  relationship  went on for 5 years, with me being in charge of  everything, of course, it din't end up well. I could write a book if was to give all the details about how I decided to stay in England and how everything happened from the day I arrived at Waterloo St 14 years ago until now.
    I used to think that I was super strong because I had been through so much that I could handle anything until I went through 2 miscarriages and the final diagnose with POF. The hardest thing is that  I thought IVF could be a solution for me and it's not easy to accept that it might not be the case, at least not with my OE. I have seen many clinics in Europe and back home and so far only Serum was positive about trying a natural/ modified as everyone else recommends DE straight away and they couldn't come up with a protocol that would give the chance to try at least once with my OE. The only place that I still hope I can give it a try is with Serum, but it has been 4 months since I had my consultation when Sofia suggested different protocols but is just  not happening as my  FSH keeps rising and rising and I am not ovulating, so  every time I do a follicles tracking  is either to find tiny follicles or nothing at all. So going back to what I said at the beginning I feel like I am letting this to take over my life and I am forgetting who I am all my other dreams that I used to have. I've learned from very young age that if things don't turn out the way you planned you must get over and move on, but I am finding hard to do  this now, so acceptance has been my mantra in terms of accepting what I can't change and I am trying  really hard to focus in other things in life that makes me happy or that I can have a feeling of purpose. I know that I don't have much time to think but what I else can I do? Nothing that I have tried helped lowering my FSH, it just made things worse by unbalancing others hormones or messing up with my lining. I can't make up my mind about DE but I am giving until the end this summer to draw a line make a decision.
    I am sorry for this massive post but today is one of those days that I felt like letting out of my chest and thanks for reading this massive moaning almost about my entire life. :o

    Offline katkat2014

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    Low AMH / High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 6
    « Reply #242 on: 20/02/18, 13:48 »
    Hey Mac, I just have to send a message following your very personal post. You are an absolutely incredible woman!! I admire you so much for having created this new life for yourself all by yourself and at such a young age with all these many obstacles you had to face along the way. And to open up about it to a bunch of 'virtual fertility-obsessed women' is super brave, but was/is hopefully also helpful to yourself as well. It also goes to show that each one of us have their own pasts, demons, issues to fight which we all have no knowledge about as we only know each other via this forum. However I feel that as we all fight for a common thing, to beat this fertility cr*p, we are also far more understanding to anything else that either goes hand in hand with IVF or that has had an influence on how we react to issues relating to IVF. I am truly sorry that you have to face this IVF malarkey in a seemingly endless list of things thrown at you in this life. And I completely understand your hesitations on OE vs DE. I am so sorry that for now I don't have a solution on the high FSH issue, that really is an area I have no clue about as hadn't had to deal with it myself yet ('just ' have low AMH and a bunch of other things to deal with). I really thought with natural or modified IVF high FSH would be less relevant, but I get it, of course if no or small follicles available due to high FSH, then there will be no chance of an egg/embryo. One really hopeful thing is that you got pregnant naturally, it is a very good sign. Sending you a very big hug and I am sorry that I am not sending any other personals right now

    Offline LauraC81

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    Low AMH / High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 6
    « Reply #243 on: 20/02/18, 13:53 »
    I'd like to echo everything Katkat said!  I'm at work so can't write much but huge hugs to you and thank you for sharing your story.  You are clearly a very brave and strong woman and I have no doubt you will one day make an excellent mother. Big hugs xx

    Offline queenie123

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    Low AMH / High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 6
    « Reply #244 on: 20/02/18, 13:55 »
    Mac

    - We love you, you are so brave and strong.   Give yourself a bit of a hug if you can. 

    I think you should call Serum back and ask about their experimental treatment the best success they have had is with women who are in a similar situation to you.  The evidence for those of us less far down that road is not as good.   I don't want to give you false hope but as you are planning to cycle with them anyway and It seams like you really really want OE, I think you should push the door and see what happens....

    Offline Sunshine122

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    Low AMH / High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 6
    « Reply #245 on: 20/02/18, 15:56 »
    Mac, thank you for sharing your story, how very brave you are, you should be very proud of yourself for everything you have gone through and created a better life for yourself. Sending you hugs.  On a side note, have you read the book Inconceivable by Julia Indichova? Its the story of a lady with very high FSH levels and how she lowered them (in the end she managed to conceive naturally) but even if it helps give you a little hope. Xx

    Offline tily

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    Low AMH / High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 6
    « Reply #246 on: 20/02/18, 20:16 »
    Mac: you're very brave to tell your story. Trauma seems to be a bit of a pattern here which really makes me think that some research Queenie posted at some stage between trauma and poi/pof. You've overcome so much in your life and you've shown massive resilience and strength to have survived everything. Sending hugs. Xx

    Offline AdelineX

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    Low AMH / High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 6
    « Reply #247 on: 20/02/18, 21:32 »
    Mac, I am so sorry if my comment was out of place or hurtful. The last thing I want is to add to your pain and frustration. I apologise if I was out of place, my intention was to encourage you to actively pursue the path that you feel suits you best at this moment and not delay treatment if it has been offered to you. IVF can be both miraculous and monstrous. Funny thing, old Greek had a special word for this paradoxical situation - deinos.  It meant a lot of contradictory things, including wondrous and horrible. It can be a solution but it can also deepen one's sorrow.
    POF is a cruel diagnosis, but it's not the end of of the road. At least not the end of all roads.
    I know a POF lady who had 2 bio kids via IVF.  She just had two good months with normal FSH and a few antrals.  She was younger than us, but still.
    My 2 cents - you can monitor FSH and antrals every month for 5-6 months. If your FSH level varies, it is reasonable to estimate it would do so in this interval. Practice shows that stimulations work better with lower FSH.
    Again, I am terribly sorry if I was out of line. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone, even more so after all you've been through. Your story moved me deeply.   Warmest hugs!

    Offline Babyhopeful

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    Low AMH / High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 6
    « Reply #248 on: 20/02/18, 22:36 »
    Kilk - Thatís great news about your hysteroscopy! Iím so pleased everything could be resolved and youíre now on track for FET.

    Tily - Fostering will be an amazing experience and super rewarding.

    AnnaKay - Iím so sorry to hear that youíre not able to start cycling. Itís has happened to me 3 times and itís hugely frustrating. Once Iíve got my head around the disappointment I try and use the time to focus on getting physically and mentally as healthy as I can.

    LauraC81 - Iím still waiting on my results! I have no idea what the hold up is. I didnít chase the clinic today, but I will tomorrow if I havenít heard anything by the afternoon. I hope youíre finding things to distract you while youíre waiting.

    Mac78 - thank you for sharing your past with us. It must have taken a lot of courage. You are a truly resilient, brave woman. I think we all do whatever we need to do to get through this difficult time and to preserve our emotional well-being.





    Offline Helenbeau

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    Low AMH / High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 6
    « Reply #249 on: 21/02/18, 14:55 »
    Mac, thank you for sharing your story. We are all fighters and Iím sure you will be blessed with a family of your own very soon xxx

    Klik, sů glad your op was a success! Iím almost tempted to try again for natural FET this month but I might chicken out and just medicate. Hoping youíll grow a nice new juicy lining xxx

    Anna, sorry youíre still not able to cycle. Reprofit offered me a flare up protocol if I cycle again. Did you come across that?

    AFM...I have a TSH of 3.2 I know it should be under 2 for pregnancy. I also have very raised anti thyroid globulin my SBHG is 110 which is high and my testosterone is 0.3 which is low. Not sure if the last two are related to the first two but does anyone have any experience of hypothyroidism? What would be prescribed for FET for this? Are steroids usually prescribed?
     Not sure my doctor will give me thyroxine as they see the level as normal unless I am pregnant. Iíd rather lower it now. Fed up of my clinic giving no advice so turning to you ladies xxx