Starting Out > Secondary Infertility

How people react when you have at least 1 child

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We tried 4 years for the first baby (Donor Egg, I could never get pregnant with OE). Another 4 years for the 2nd ones (DE). My stepsister was also trying for her 1st baby (with her own eggs), they ran into financial difficulty with cycles; then stopped, and adopted a healthy infant. They inexplicably stopped talking to me and my husband around the same time. They did not invite me to their baby shower. We aren't invited to family gatherings if they are going to be there. I accept it but it upsets my husband a lot. He doesn't know why they don't speak to us anymore since he can't figure out what we did, or what went wrong.

Are they religious or believe in superstitious?

Perhaps its still painful for her you could carry a baby but i would have thought after adopting she could be closer again. My sister had 2 failed cycle years ago on the nhs but adopted 2 children and she is one of the few people i told about going for ivf with donor eggs as she could understand. She was in full support. My close friend was pregnant at the same time as me in 2016, i had a mmc 7 weeks and she went on to have a healthy baby and we were the same age. I had to step back for awhile as it was so painful. Hope your relationship gets closer again. X

People are.funny. And not haha. :(

I am sorry your stepsister is being g like that. It may be that you remind her too much of a painful journey.

Is there anyone else I the family you can ask? Say very calmly ( and not when anyone has had a bevy ) that you haven't seen them to a while and are they ok, and try and lead the conversation from there.

Congratulations on your babies. :)

I have decided to accept her rejection of us, and not question it anymore. So I won't ask. But it still bothers my husband. He is more sensitive than I am.


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