* Author Topic: I think it's end of the road for us but feeling ok  (Read 3651 times)

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Offline Efi78

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I think it's end of the road for us but feeling ok
« Reply #10 on: 26/05/18, 22:43 »
I so much love this thinderstorm outside right now by the way. So romantic. Going to bed to curl around hubby

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    Offline Jengles

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    I think it's end of the road for us but feeling ok
    « Reply #11 on: 31/07/18, 00:33 »
    Agree with a lot of what you guys have said. Although you guys all seem to have been through so much more than us and I'm exhausted so I don't know how you did it. We've been going at this for 4 years basically since we got married. We've had 2 IVF 1 miscarriage at 3 month scan and another much earlier on. We did a very intensive nutrition and vitamin course earlier this year but stopped after 2 months as they felt there were hormonal and emotional issues that were causing problems as my temperatures weren't consistent and it was out of their knowledge area. Anyway we had promised that after our holidays in June we would try another treatment program I'd found which was more scientific but ultimately I don't have the energy and we're rowing so much at the moment I just don't even want to bring a child into this. He thinks we should just do the wait and see approach and maybe it will work. I just can't do it. I need a firm decision and either want to throw everything at it or move on to focusing on other things.

    I feel that I just want more from my life. At 37 if I'm not going to be a mother I want excitement and fun and my husband just seems to be angry and tired all the time. Feel like we're not on the same page at all anymore. Makes me wonder that the basis of our relationship without kids just doesn't work. I know he'd be a great father but at the moment I feel like he's not interested in me and I read all of you talking about reviving your sex lives and much as I try he's barely interested.

    Offline Efi78

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    I think it's end of the road for us but feeling ok
    « Reply #12 on: 31/07/18, 06:10 »
    Hi Jengles

    IVF is a very emotional journey and relationships suffer under this intense pressure.

    May I ask what is the reason for doing IVF? MFI? Unexplained?

    Offline CopperBird

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    I think it's end of the road for us but feeling ok
    « Reply #13 on: 31/07/18, 21:47 »
    Hi Jengles,

    I get what you mean about the husband thing. We are having similar issues, when we got married 4 years ago we both wanted the same thing which was to start a family and have focused our entire married life on it. Now that hasn't happened I want to do what you said, either have kids or concentrate on living which means a better work/life balance, seeing the world and doing all those things all the 'mums' keep telling me I'm lucky to be able to do. Hubby on the other hand can't imagine that kind of lifestyle but if we can't be parents there's more to life than working and paying bills.

    Now we have given up treatment our sex life has not revived and I'm still very much aware I'm ovulating so we must try 'just in case'.....I'm not sure how to get out of that one. Tbh I don't think we ever will unless we have kids. I still get the urge to try more treatment but then come back down to earth as we can't afford it and I can no longer deal with the disappointment.
    Currently we are looking into adoption. Hub is really keen and has always been more sure than me, after having a sperm donor for the last 3 years to him it doesn't seem to make much difference if we adopt but I still find the idea of not carrying quite difficult.

    Give your husband time, I'm sure he will come round, he can't be like that forever. At the end of the day we only life once and a crap as this situation is, only time will tell what will happen but whatever it is we will just have to make the most of the hand we are dealt  ??? ???

    Offline Efi78

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    I think it's end of the road for us but feeling ok
    « Reply #14 on: 25/10/18, 15:20 »
    It has been months since I started this thread. Was reading the messages and thought Inshould give an update.

    So since then I decided to definitely not proceed with IVF. July came and went and we didnít feel like it. Then September came and we still didnít feel like it. In the meantime hubby did a COMET and a sperm analysis test and results came back good. Not wow but good. There is enough healthy sperm there to conceive naturally.

    As our chances with ICSI vs naturally are the same ie 10-15% per month we decided that there is no reason to torture ourselves. We now tey naturally each month. No success so far and I am not very hopeful either. I still monitor fertile days and use OPKs but would lime to gradually stop and move towards the 2-3 times a week intercourse and forget all about conceiving. And if it ever happens it would be a nice surprise. Of course itís difficult moving from IVF to a normal sex life but i guess itís something that will happen gradually.

    How is everyone else doing?

    Offline CopperBird

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    I think it's end of the road for us but feeling ok
    « Reply #15 on: 27/11/18, 23:28 »
    That's great news Efi78, fingers crossed :-)

    We are now in stage 2 of the adoption process.

    Sometimes I just can't cope with the idea of never being pregnant and carrying my own child but other times I just focus on the adoption and having that family unit we so desperately want.

    I don't think I'll ever get over not having my own but we've just had to find another way forward.

    The process is going really well so far, after having nothing but bad luck throughout our treatment I don't really know how to cope with the idea of something actually going right for a change! After 5 years of hell it takes some getting used to.


    Offline onolyn

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    I think it's end of the road for us but feeling ok
    « Reply #16 on: 16/01/19, 11:26 »
    I hope everything goes well with you.