* Author Topic: Vistahermosa cycle chat 9  (Read 53879 times)

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Offline Poppy41London

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Vistahermosa cycle chat 9
« Reply #710 on: 13/11/19, 19:13 »
Thanks Maiziee and Brighty. Xxx

I am thinking I will probably go for the surgery so hearing about your experiences has helped. I was bleeding heavily with my last missed miscarriage once I stopped the meds and ended up in A&E, but my cervix wasn't opening so it was incredibly painful and I ended up being admitted to hospital. Then they gave me the tablets three times over two days but they weren't really doing much. In the end they did manual removal of the remaining tissue without any pain relief or anything. It was horrendous and so traumatic. So I think the quickest and most clinical method is probably the best to reduce the trauma of it all. Therefore I am going to speak to the EGU tomorrow about the surgical method and see what they say.

Thanks for the love and support. I know how genuinely you feel for me and my situation and that means more than you know.

Xxx

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    Offline mrs_hopeful

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    « Reply #711 on: 15/11/19, 08:09 »
    Dearest Poppy, my heart is breaking for you.  I am so so sorry to hear your sad news.  We didn't even get to the transfer stage and I was in absolute bits both times and I can't even begin to imagine how you must feeling. Getting your hopes us is the most natural thing so I hope you don't feel bad about that.
    I hope the surgery route is a lot smoother for you, and avoids the horrible trauma you faced last time.
    This journey is just so awful and it's unfathomable that so many of us need to go through it. \
    Sending you the biggest hugs and love to get through this hard period.
    xxx

    Offline Poppy41London

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    « Reply #712 on: 16/11/19, 11:47 »
    Thanks all. Just an update on things with me. I saw the doctor again on Thursday and they booked me in for emergency surgery yesterday. I was pretty terrified as never had a general anaesthetic before. And it didnt help having to wait 4 hours from when they told me to come in until I was actually called for surgery. But it went ok and they said there were no complications. It was certainly a much better option compared with what happened with my last missed miscarriage. Far less traumatic in every way and not drawn out over days and days.

    I had some quite bad pain after I woke up from the operation but they gave me some strong painkillers in my drip I was on and also gave me cocodamel to take home with me. I have only had to take that once so far which is good - last night before bed - and I haven't been bleeding too heavily so far either. Just having to do nothing at all for the first 24 hours and keep wearing these compression tights. But not feeling too bad all considering.

    It is very strange though as this morning already my boobs have deflated and are a whole size smaller, and the soreness has gone. And so has my nausea and other pregnancy symptoms. It's just so immediate after the surgery which is hard to get your head around. One minute it's all there and you are pregnant, the next you are not. I had a good cry last night when I got home but I think it's going to take a while for this to sink in. I am really determined not to fall into too much of a slump though or allow myself to slip into depression. In the back of my mind is the thought of those remaining 4 frozen embryos and the thought that I need to take a chance on them. Far too soon to actually consider that, but I don't want to allow myself to be overcome with grief and loss, as it just makes it that much harder to pick yourself up and try again. I know you all know that. But Maiziee, Brighty and Butterfly, you did get there in the end, as did many other women whose journeys I have followed on this thread. So that gives me hope that there is still some hope if you know what I mean.

    And Mrs Hopeful, I really wish the best of luck for you too. I had one cycle with my own eggs at a clinic in the UK where we had no embryos to transfer and that was devastating. So I know how hard that must have been for you for it to happen twice in a row. It's like you have put yourself through all that with the drugs and everything and then you don't even get a shot at pregnancy. I really hope that things go differently this time. Is that part of why you are doing a fresh sperm sample? And have you been using donor eggs at Vistahermosa or are you trying with your own eggs?

    Also Mrs Hopeful, please don't feel you can't talk about your upcoming cycle and ask questions of us all because of my recent sad news. I know it can sometimes feel difficult or we wonder if its appropriate to talk about when someone has just had a loss, so I want to assure you it's totally fine and I hope the group - me included - can give you as much support and help as you need/want.

    Thanks again for everyone's care and support. I was telling my husband yesterday about how much it has meant to me. Nobody else can truly understand what any of this is like if they haven't been through it. Unfortunately we are all in the club!

    Anyway, I hope you are all having good weekends so far.

    Love to you all. Xxx

    Offline Poppy41London

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    « Reply #713 on: 16/11/19, 12:11 »
    Mrs Hopeful, I also said I would tell you about the apartment we stayed in last time. Its called Bazan 16. It's on Calle Bazan and we booked it via booking dot com which has a flexible cancellation policy so that worked for us as we ended up needing to go earlier than we originally thought.  We stayed there for 10 days and loved it. They have 3 apartments there and we booked the 2 bedroom apartment. It is on the 2nd floor so there are stairs to manage (no lift) but I found that ok as long as I took the stairs slowly.

    The apartment is very modern with a huge and light living space with an open plan kitchen, dining and lounge area with big sliding doors out onto a balcony. We spent a lot of time sitting/lying on the enormous sofa, reading or watching Netflix which they have on their TV. And they also have all the main UK TV channels as well.

    We found the apartment so well located. Only 10 minutes walk to the central food market or to a decent supermarket, and 15 minutes (if that) to the beach. Also its a short walk to the old town restaurants (our favourite of which is Buen Comer). And its a short walk in the other direction to one of our favourite healthy restaurants, Bhodi Green, which is vegetarian but is seriously good. We ate there for lunch a lot, and a few times for dinner. I am veggie aside from eating fish and seafood, but my husband isn't veggie and he really likes the food there too. And the apartment is almost around the corner from another restaurant we liked going to for lunch, Restaurant Capri.

    We loved everything about the apartment really. The only slight negative is that on the weekend it can be noisy at night when people leave the bars and clubs nearby and walk down the street to go home. But that's mostly from the front room (the second bedroom) whereas the double bedroom is towards the back of the apartment away from the street front. From the double bedroom you can hear it a little bit but it didn't really disturb me. And it was only on Friday and Saturday night.

    Anyway, check it out online and see what you think. We really liked it too because it meant we could cook healthy meals for ourselves in the evenings and could then have a quiet time at night (after I had had the transfer). But we mostly went out for lunch each day, and stopped by the supermarket or central market to pick up some bits for dinner etc during the day too which I enjoyed. It's very different to staying in The Melia which we also like, but for transfer time I preferred this as I felt more at home and we had space to spread out and relax.

    Xx


    Offline brightybrighty

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    « Reply #714 on: 18/11/19, 14:58 »
    Hi Poppy

    For some reason I missed your first post the other day with your surgery update... I'm glad at least that it went as well as it could and the it was infinitely better than that horrific experience you had before! My goodness, what an awful trauma to go through in an already terrible situation...

    How are you doing? Up and down I'm sure... Surgery is a clean and quick option but it does feel incredibly surreal when, like you say, you were pregnant one minute and next there's nothing there. It's not a nice feeling at all and I hope you're being kind to yourself and doing things that take your mind off things that make you feel a bit better. You've been through an awful lot....

    Yes, you have your 4 frosties to think of and keep you going, but obviously only when you're ready. Have you had much contact with VH? I'm assuming they'll suggest a Skype consult re next steps once you're feeling up to it....

    Anyway, first things first, you need to take time for yourself. I'm glad our virtual support helps in some some way - Team Poppy is still very much here, thinking of you and supporting you as best we can every step of the way. So much love xx

    Offline Poppy41London

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    « Reply #715 on: 18/11/19, 16:17 »
    Hi Brighty

    Thanks for your message. Yes as it starts to sink in I am finding it all a bit hard. It's just difficult to make sense of not being pregnant anymore and everything disappearing so suddenly with the surgery.

    I think due to the emotional side of things, and maybe the surgery itself with the anaesthetic, I am pretty lacking in energy too so don't feel able to do much. I managed a short walk in the park this morning though and got a few chores done after. But I have been resting since.

    I told the clinic what happened and they expressed their sadness. Itziar said to let them know once I had the surgery and had a scan to check all looked ok and nothing was left. However the hospital don't do scans after the surgery. They said to take a pregnancy test in 3 weeks and if negative then it means all is clear and everything was removed. Did you have a scan after having the surgery or did you just take a pregnancy test too?

    I imagine I will have a Skype with the clinic but am in no rush to do that yet as I don't think it's that helpful unless ready/actually planning on taking next steps.

    Its just all so disheartening right now. And I feel pretty sad when I am not feeling numb. But I will aim to take things a day at a time and have reached out to a few friends so that I have a bit more support. I will look to catch up with them in the next week or two so I am not too alone and isolated. And i have asked the gym to reinstate my membership from the start of December so I can get back into that as I know it helps me feel a bit better physically and mentally. I don't think there is much else I can do or can think of right now though.

    On a more positive note, I hope all is good with you Brighty? I think you were having one of your classes or workshops this past weekend for twins or hypnobirthing. If so, hope it went well and you learnt a lot.

    Xxx


    Offline mrs_hopeful

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    « Reply #716 on: 19/11/19, 23:16 »
    Dearest Poppy, I'm absolutely floored by your long message to me about the flat.  That was so thoughtful of you with everything you are going through. A very big thank you, and guess what?  I'm sitting on the long sofa in the flat writing this message to you :-) . Such a beautiful flat, and thank you so much!  We were so close to booking the Melia and this place makes me so happy - especially as we are here for a week this time, and I've brought so many food items that i need to be having. Bodhi Green looks like heaven!!

    I'm glad you've reached out to your friends - I'm sure they will be a good support for you.  Do you enjoy gym classes or the gym floor?

    What you said about going back to the gym reminded me of a recent counselling session I had. (My gynae referred me after seeing me breakdown, and I told her I'd been having a tough time..).  She was asking me to tell her all the things that make me happy... and after I shared them with her, she encouraged me to create a bit of a calendar and plug them in... I quite liked that as it made me more aware of doing the things that make me happy (when usually I'm just caught up in the day to day activities and those things just fall by the wayside).

    I started reflexology about a month ago and I honestly felt it released a lot of sadness.  I was a bit anxious that I was embarking on a new round, yet instead of feeling excited, I think I was struggling with a lot of sadness from the past failed rounds as I was finding myself in tears a lot... at the shops, in the gym...  The last time I cried was a month ago, the day after my 1st session.  I've been back to the gym, with the same triggers and  i was fine!  I think the sessions released trapped emotions....

    I know our stages are so different, but not sure if that could help you at all x

    DH has his biopsy tomorrow and I'm just praying they are happy with his sperm. Also praying for lots of eggs so that we can freeze some embryos.  Planning a walk by the water tomorrow before we head in.  Think DH needs this...  He's trying not to think about the procedure...  ::)

    Offline butterfly74

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    « Reply #717 on: 20/11/19, 08:16 »
    Dear Poppy

    I am so sad for you and I really canít express my feelings about all the situation. Itís hard but I think you are so strong that you can go ahead and have your chance again in the next future. With my eggs I had a biochemical so it just stopped and I just bled a lot for a month.
    I had a scan some weeks later but (it happened last October), but in February before the transfer I had to clean my uterus since I had some adhesions.
    Anyway, take your time. Think about yourself and never loose your hope. A big hug!

    Offline Poppy41London

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    « Reply #718 on: 20/11/19, 11:28 »
    Hi ladies

    Mrs Hopeful I am so glad that you found my message about the flat helpful and you decided to stay there and actually you are already there and enjoying it! Its lovely isn't it. It really helped me to relax being in that environment and because of all the space you have, I found you can feel good about just spending lots of time there and not feeling you have to get out and about all the time.

    I hope your husbands biopsy goes well this morning. My husband had one last year at Vistahermosa and it went ok, though unfortunately the sperm retrieved wasn't that great. Hopefully your husband's is a lot better. Does that mean egg collection for your donor is also today or are they freezing the sperm? If it is egg collection today too, wishing you all the best with that as well. I hope there are a good number of viable eggs. Keep us posted. I know how nerve wracking that all is.

    Also Mrs Hopeful thank you for what you said about your counsellor and working out what things make you happy and scheduling some of them in. That's really helpful. I am going to attempt to do that because it's just so hard to find things you enjoy when you are so sad, but making the effort is worth it. Xx

    Butterfly thanks for your message too. I am finding things hard but it's not surprising given the circumstances and it being so fresh still. I appreciate your support. I hope you are doing ok and feeling prepared and ready for the upcoming birth. Not long at all now. This will be your first Christmas as a mum!! Amazing.

    Love to all of you.

    Xxx

    Offline mrs_hopeful

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    « Reply #719 on: 23/11/19, 10:27 »
    Poppy, did you manage to make a start on your happiness calendar?

    Sorry I haven't been in touch.  Biopsy went well, but I think the pain & recovery have been worse that we both anticipated.  He's getting there day by day...    They collected 8 eggs, and 4 were fertilized...   I asked for rough percentage of fertilisation and they told me 70-75% :-( . Really trying not to think about that, and trying to just focus on the 4 embryos passing with flying colours!  We'll find out the results of the PGT on Monday.  Just praying so hard.  I've been fine for the most part but feeling anxious today.  First time in a long while...    Reflexology helped me a lot with my emotions in London.  Tempted to do it here but nervous trusting someone news when I'm so close...

    Poppy this flat is the biggest blessing.  I'm so so so happy here, you have no idea. I will be eternally grateful. xx