Pregnancy and Parenting after Infertility > Moving On- For Those with Children

Lost & broken


Hi, am posting on here in the hope that someone may get how i feel.  After 10 yrs plus of trying for a baby, 6 goes of IVF, lots of miscarriages I finally had my son. Because of my age and falling pregnant again when my son was 6 months old only to miscarry again  on xmas eve my husband had a vasectomy and I knew I couldnt face any more IVF.  We decided adoption was the next route for a sibling.  After nearly 4 yrs approved as adopters, ! failed foster to adopt that affected my birth son terribly we then found a child we wanted to adopt.  IT went as far as getting to the intros where our adopted son was visiting our house and my son was pushing him around in pushchair and calling him his brother  then it all went wrong.  I won't go into details but the little boy never became our son.  My hopes of a sibling and being a mum again are gone.  I cannot put my birth son through that again. I am broken, I haven't worked in 9 yrs. I am nearly 50 and feel I still want to be a mum again.  I dont know where to go, what to do.  Anyone been in a similar position? 

Hi mermaid47,
I haven't been in this situation and don't have advice but wanted to acknowledge your post. You sound like you were SO SO hoping to have another child somehow and you've put in so much energy to make it happen so it must be really tough to now be in this situation. I can hear you are an amazing Mum to your son. I hope you have the support you need by your side at this tough time x x


I'm not in that camp but wanted to express my sympathy. We're at the point of considering whether to go down the foster/adopt route for another one and your post expresses all of my fears such that we are not sure whether to proceed. It must have been so very hard on your family.

Very best wishes xx

What about adopting from abroad? Children in Central Europe live in poor orphanages. You would save somebody's life.


[0] Message Index

Go to full version