* Author Topic: Praying for a 2nd miracle - ICSI #8  (Read 25602 times)

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Offline Lanee

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Day 8 stimms

Feeling nervous as I wait to have my bloods & ultrasound this morning. I know I havenít been keeping my body in tip top shape - not getting enough rest, baby stomping on my belly 😅 (I shouldnít let him play but in bed he climbs all over me and sits on my belly and starts bouncing up and down. Itís like wrestling a crocodile to get him off me 😅😂), not eating enough protein....

Anyway, hoping my body knows how to do its thing (warning tmi but I did get quite a lot of discharge last night and post googling itís supposed to be an indication that my estrogen is rising) ... letís see how it goes ....

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    Offline Lanee

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    Feeling a little disappointed - so the scan showed 3 follicles on the right (12, 11 & 8mm) and 3 follicles on the left (16, 9 & 9mm). This is the least number of follicles Iíve had and I think one is quite ahead of the others so might need to sacrifice that one for the sake of getting the other 5 bigger. In the past, I would get between 13-18 follicles and still only have 0-1 embryos by day 5 so it's worrisome for me to start with a much lower number.

    I am telling myself quality over quantity and "it only takes one", and I know some people out there are getting only 2-3 follicles (or none even) so I shouldn't complain but I do feel more anxious now about the cycle. I am wondering if we made the right decision to start with the 275 Gonal F and not go straight to the 300 given my age but hoping anyway that the lower dose initially will somehow be a good thing from a quality perspective (clutching at straws here!)

    On top of my disappointment about the number of follicles, as luck would have it, the nurse who scanned me today was the head nurse for my previous FS! I couldn't believe it. She has maybe only once ever scanned me before in all 8 cycles I have done with them. And of course, she would be the one to do it today for my very first scan with a different FS!  ::)  I never ended up calling up my previous FS or her nurses to tell them I had changed FS mid-cycle (well, 2 days into the cycle) so I felt super awkward. I didn't say anything and neither did she so we just pretended nothing had happened.


    Next scan on Wednesday so let's see how things progress over the next 2 days.


    Offline Lanee

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    Praying for a 2nd miracle - ICSI #8
    « Reply #152 on: 18/11/20, 22:14 »
    CD11


    Things are progressing slowly for me so I feel it is not looking great this cycle. Looks like we will have to push stimms out beyond the usual 12 days to 14 days. I've done that once and it wasn't a good cycle for me - i recall they told me my eggs were "brown" and some had SERs so I'm worried to push for the extra days.


    But hubby has told me I need to relax more - that when we were successful, I was a lot more chill and not doing as much research or stressing about the cycle as much as this. It's probably true but it's just hard not to stress about all the little things. Especially as I have had so many past cycles, I have so much to compare with.


    My FS has increased my gonal F again to 325 so I'm not sure if that will help for my next scan on Friday. Usually Friday's scan would be my last scan but yesterday I have about 5 follicles between  10-14mm and I have another 5 that have appeared in this scan that are 4-8mm (too small to catch up I think)and 1 follicle that has really accelerated and is already 22mm which will definitely be overcooked. I think it's highly unlikely the 10-14mm bunch will grow enough to be ready to trigger (for me, I seem to get a better result when they are around 19-20mm before trigger).


    Let's see tomorrow then I guess. Fingers and toes crossed I can be a unicorn and successful the first time back to a full cycle for #2!

    Offline Lanee

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    Praying for a 2nd miracle - ICSI #8
    « Reply #153 on: 20/11/20, 13:17 »
    Day 12 stimms

    Well, my darn follicles didn't have some magic accelerated growth so as I had expected, I'm going to have to stimm for a few more days before trigger. I'm feeling worried about having to stimm 15 days as I feel it is a little long and may not give me a good result. I'm also worried about my LH levels as they are now much higher than during my successful cycle.

    On a positive note, my new doctor is very very nice! She called me today to discuss how I'm going (which my previous FS NEVER did!) This is the second time she has called me just to reassure me. I felt better afterwards but then started to overthink things again and fell back into my anxiety spiral. I'm not feeling like this is a good cycle based on everything I know and comparing with past results. I need to just trust the process and realize there is not too much I can control and go with it but it is super hard.

    I definitely feel that the lack of sleep has had a significant impact on how my body is reacting too this time around. Feeling a little down about it all and anxious. Was so hoping to trigger tomorrow but looks like it will be another 3 days still. Hoping for the best but really feeling it might be the worst possible outcome and with COVID, I feel the added pressure of making this cycle work.

    Also found out that my new FS will be away for my likely transfer day :( Not sure if that is a just another bad sign for this cycle. Off to bed now and hopefully I'll be in a better frame of mind tomorrrow.

    Offline Lanee

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    Praying for a 2nd miracle - ICSI #8
    « Reply #154 on: 22/11/20, 23:04 »

    Waiting to do my blood test and scan to see if I can trigger tonight and so annoyed. Have been sitting here for nearly 30mins and went to check with reception and they didnít check me in properly. So the nurses donít even know Iím here for it and now Iím running late for my acupuncture appointment. I can feel my stress levels rising. :(

    Offline Lanee

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    Praying for a 2nd miracle - ICSI #8
    « Reply #155 on: 23/11/20, 01:04 »
    Trigger day (CD15)

    Wow! So my follicles had a bit of a growth spurt over the weekend. On the right side I have 24mm, 23, 23, 18, 16, 10 and on the left side 33, 29, 24, 21, 16. Now a little worried that they are far too big. I normally trigger around 20-21mm so these are quite huge. I guess the 350 gonal F really kicked in over the past few days. The nurse did measure one on the right quite differently from my previous scans saying that it was an overlapping follicle so she measured it really huge so fingers crossed it is slightly smaller than what she measured. But happy to be triggering and moving to the next step.

    Offline Lanee

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    Praying for a 2nd miracle - ICSI #8
    « Reply #156 on: Yesterday at 12:53 »
    Egg collection tomorrow

    Feeling nervous and excited at the same time. My ovaries feel a little uncomfortable especially on the left side so am relieved to be collecting tomorrow. But am feeling nervous about the size of the follicles given they measured so big at the last scan. I do feel the nurse measured at the outer edge compared to other nurses so maybe they are 1mm smaller than what she measured but even so, Iím concerned that they wonít be good quality or mature eggs. In addition, my FS asked me to take more gonal F in the afternoon of my trigger say in hopes that some of the smaller ones would catch up. I guess she wasnít worried about the size of my big ones or has already written off some of the larger follicles but I did find that strange. Or maybe she is worried that they have become too big and is trying to make the two smaller ones catch up so that I actually get something out of this cycle. Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

    But I do agree that on Friday (day 12)  my hormones were probably still too low so had to push on till Monday for the next scan so definitely feel she has made the right decision to trigger on Monday.

    Well we will find out tomorrow how it all goes. Itís a late collection time too for me at 11.50am (in the past Iíve always had really early ones like 7-8am). Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly and I have success.


    Offline Lanee

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    Praying for a 2nd miracle - ICSI #8
    « Reply #157 on: Today at 08:05 »
    Egg collection

    So I missed the call from the embryologist so have no idea how many of my eggs are actually mature but I did have 10 eggs collected today 😬.  Iím not feeling excited or relieved yet as I know someone can have 3 eggs collected and end up with  3 embryos or Iíve had 22 eggs collected before and only 1 embryo on day 5. But I do feel it is the best it can be at this stage.

    I donít want to read into anything but I am worried that the eggs arenít great quality or there was something wrong. The reason being is that when I woke up, I didnít have the sticker on my hand to tell me how many were retrieved. For a minute, I was really scared that it meant none! Then someone came over and stuck one on my hand and said 10. I just found it a little weird as I thought they count as they retrieve them and this has never happened before to me in all previous 7 cycles!

    Will find out more details tomorrow and hopefully how many fertilised too which will be even more important. Assuming that I get at least 1, transfer is planned for day 3 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

    Overall feeling a little crampy but not too bad.

    Did have a massive fight with DH today though on our way home and am wondering whether our marriage is going to last the distance and whether having a second child is actually a good idea or not 🙄 First of all I am frustrated that he seems to be taking this process really lightly. Today he asked if I could drive myself to the egg collection (um... no because Iím under general anaesthetic and youíre legally not allowed to drive the same day). Then on the way home from egg collection he told me he wanted to go out with his mates at 3.30pm. Well... first of all, you are going to leave me with the baby by myself? And second of all, I had a leadership team meeting to run at 4pm so how was I going to look after baby and run the meeting. And lastly, is there seriously no care for me? I ended up telling him off and asking him why he hadnít discussed it with me first. And he got super annoyed about having to ask for permission from me which is totally not the case. Like seriously take some responsibility of the fact we have a baby and especially as he is the stay at home parent. Letís compare: Iím working vs youíre wanting to go out with mates. And this is a daily thing where Iím usually really flexible to make it work even though Iím juggling IVF, baby and full time work as the main (and only) breadwinner. Anyway... he didnít end up leaving but was pretty cold to me. Itís even more frustrating as this is an ongoing issue. If I was the stay at home parent there is no way I would be acting the way he does. Well, rant over but Iím finding he had been acting really selfish lately.

    Well, I missed the call back from the embryologist while typing this out. Phone reception sucks here so my phone never rings and goes straight to voicemail 🙄. But fingers crossed we do get some good quality embryos as I do really wish for a brother or sister for baby boy. Feeling hopeful for the update tomorrow 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻