* Author Topic: Carpe ovum (seize the egg) - sibling journey (ICSI cycle 2 w/ PGS = baby boy!)  (Read 16532 times)

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Offline Liz3511

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Lovely Christmas day, not doing much other than cooking and a nice walk down the riverbanks. The children are engrossed in their latest lego projects and books- we had the TV on for 25 mins yesterday and that's it. So glad that they're not of the age or nature to moan for screens / technology.

We went orienteering this morning - the older two went with P and ran competitively, whilst the youngest came with me and we walked/ ran around a bit more slowly. I'm so bad at map reading - I just don't seem to be able to do it. For years, I was the driver and P was the navigator so I think I got lazy.

It's day 7 / 8 and period still hasn't quite stopped. I'm assuming there was a lot of lining to shed! Hoping my ovaries get the memo that it's business as usual this month...

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    Offline Liz3511

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    Period has stopped! I have been meaning to temp but had a number of lie ins and really don't fancy setting my alarm for 7am just to pop a thermometer somewhere uncomfortable (I use it PV). Also struggling to use OPKs as I am really well hydrated as not at work rushing around.

    I can't believe we still have soooooo long to wait to get our PGS results back. Getting this creeping dread that there will be nothing normal, or none of the good morphology embryos from day 5 will be normal and only the worst quality one from day 6. Aaaaargh.

    Right, I need to submit a conference abstract. Back to work. Who the hell sets a conference deadline for between Christmas and the New Year - complete sadists!

    Offline Liz3511

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    Happy New Year to anyone reading ... I really hope that 2019 brings you what you wish for!

     My resolutions:
    - get to bed on time
    - get up on time!
    - start attending church more regularly
    - keep physically active 3-4 times per week (I'm already good at this, but it can slip during treatment)
    - walk from the station to my office (and the same on the way back)
    - lose approx 2.5kg by eating slightly less rubbish and moving slightly more
    - no more fertility googling whilst at work!!!!!
    ;)
    Oh, and hopefully get pregnant. But I don't have much control over that.

    Offline Liz3511

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    Positive OPK at about 2am today when I went to the toilet, so P and I DTD late morning (he has a late start, and I'm working from home with the kids until the school term begins). Today is CD15, so only a day or so later than usual.

    I realise the odds of it happening naturally are pretty low, but I see enough examples on this board of people that conceived between IVF cycles to believe that it's worth giving it a shot!

    Still have no idea whether to do natural cycle or medicated FET. I keep swinging towards each option in turn... IF we have anything to transfer.

    Approximately a month and five days until a transfer would be expected to take place. I hope that we get there.

    Offline Liz3511

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    Confirmation from the clinic that the PGS results won't be in until 17th January - which is also forecast to be CD1. Imagine getting AF and the news of no genetically competent embryos at the same time!

    I think I've been reasonably patient but 5 weeks .. I've never read of anyone having to wait so long for standard PGS.

    It feels like the longer it takes, the higher the stakes get - which is stupid I know. The longer it takes, the more my conviction grows that there will be nothing normal. Statistically you would expect something to be ... but even if there's one, I feel increasingly sure it won't take on first attempt.

    I have a clinic appointment on Thursday and I am going to ask them to pencil in a second fresh cycle for the end of March. The way I cope with uncertainty is trying to plan. Possibly worth trying to bank some 'normal' embryos and then go for a series of FETs?

    I think DH has actually forgotten that we are due the genetic results at some point. It always astounds me how much I think about this and how little he does. He is fairly convinced that we will conceive naturally - and admits that he errs on the side of optimism whereas I clearly do not. I sometimes think that I would manage to be more optimistic if only he was the pessimistic one!

    Offline Liz3511

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    Quick update, but ...

    4!!!

    4 genetically normal, including all 3 day 5 embryos. The remaining 2 are mosaic so we are not discarding them and will give them a chance at transfer at some point.

    I am elated but also extremely terrified that my body must have been assassinating normal embryos. Aaaaaargh.

    Will write more later!

    Offline Liz3511

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    I still don't know what to say. Genetically normal embryos are not guaranteed pregnancies/ births, not by a long stretch, but I am stunned to be the exception to the statistical rule in a good way for once (vs the 5 miscarriages-not-so-fun way of being a statistical anomaly)

    I 'toasted' my ovaries with cloudy lemonade this evening (P is away til tomorrow night). Whatever happens, they did their very best and fired out some lovely eggs.

    Offline Liz3511

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    It's odd but I've been a big ball of worry since we got the PGS results.

    I think it has just made the stakes feel soooooo much higher. These embryos technically have the ability to make a live baby, so it's up to my body to let them. Of course, I know that things like mitochondrial factors in the embryo also influence success, but I suppose for previous losses / cycles I have just told myself that failed pregnancies are down to chromosomal problems. Yet, looking at the composition of this batch of embryos, that seems really unlikely to be the case.

    My body has likely wiped out a couple of genetically normal pregnancies already, at a minimum ... what's to stop it happening again?

    I am worrying that there is something bad about the fact that my endometrium tends to be on the thicker side at baseline. Yes, I have heavy periods, but it has been 9mm and 7mm, respectively, on CD3 for my two IVF cycles. Maybe I have polyps? I mean, it seems unlikely given that my hysteroscopy in April last year was clear, but then they do grow quickly.

    Should I have made time for the Coventry NKC biopsy / an ERA? Should I be using any immune drugs (e.g. steroids) at all? Or should we just give it a shot with a PGS-normal embryo, on a non-stimulated cycle, and see what happens - and then if this one fails, look at a couple of other tests?

    As is becoming the frequent refrain in this diary, it seems, I don't know what to do!

    Offline Liz3511

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    Am beginning to think that I'm not in the right headspace to go into an FET at the moment and considering delaying. But then, is it ever going to feel any less scary?

    Offline Liz3511

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    P gave me a hug and said that he didn't think it would feel less scary if we left it for a while - but of course, that there was no rush. He also doesn't think it's proportionate to do a load of additional investigations at this point - if (when!!) the first FET fails / miscarries, then we'll talk again. He thinks the risks of there being anything wrong with my uterus are pretty small. He is, however, more than happy to give me a couple of intralipid drips during the process.

    So I have ordered my FET drugs (lubion is expensive!!) and also sent off the 4 intralipid prescriptions that Serum gave me in October - used Simple Online Pharmacy. Posted off the prescriptions today, using recorded delivery. Hoping to receive them by the start of next week. My period is due tomorrow or Thursday and I have booked a scan at ultrasound direct for Friday. Unfortunately I've had to book with the sonographer who has given me really dodgy endometrial measurements before now :( so I'm seriously considering cancelling and going all the way to London for my baseline scan so I can chat through some of my concerns with my nurse at the same time as having a really high quality scan done. I'd do it like a shot if it wasn't such a childcare nightmare ...

    I already have about 10 tablets of estradiol valerate from Serum, so it won't matter if it takes a couple of days for the meds to come. I hope!! I also have a pleasing stash of cyclogest, aspirin and clexane, so only really needed to order the estradiol and the lubion. Will be using one lubion injection per day and 1 cyclogest in the luteal phase - the clinic would have been happy to just use cyclogest but I am trying to keep my progesterone more stable and moving fully to lubion just sounded so expensive...