* Author Topic: trying to come to terms  (Read 1625 times)

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Offline davies78

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trying to come to terms
« on: 25/08/18, 08:32 »
HI all

well after what has been a very long journey for us has come crashing down  on  Monday 7 unfertilized eggs  ..I think im still in shock and cant understand what has gone wrong and why me

my journey started back when I was 19 I'm now nearing my 40th  :-\ , had one fresh round of icsi second one frozen cycle neither worked due to ex husbands low sperm count which later on 14 years exactly came to light that he had been using steroids


Met my new Hubby we have been married this year for 3 years he already has a son from his previous marriage  which is a blessing in disguise as we really get along ... we started our journey ivf journey over 2 years ago after investigations found out i had endometriosis during the operation  came to light i also had a blocked left fallopian tube and adhesions

we then lost amazing 5 and half stone each to meet the NHS criteria and also stopped smoking , our first ivf was back in June 6 eggs in total had one good egg the second not so good but we had two put back 4 days later  I started to bleed we thought that was the end of the road for us ...but we were given another cycle of ivf changed the meds this time around to meriofert  dosage 375 all went well during egg retravel we had seven this time around nothing mentioned about the quality this time just that my huuby sperm was better this time but his sperm has never been an issue ,Then on Tuesday i  had the phone call to say that none of the 7 had fertilized so confused upset angry my emotions are all over the place i need answers as to why 7 didn't fertilize  :'(. had a phone call on the Tuesday from the fertility councillor was told she would call back on Thursday and no phone call ...so now I'm find it hard to move on and life without children ... we had a chance of going private before the nhs but we decide to take the nhs choice  am tempted to go private andgive  it one last go but at what point do you stop trying ???:'(

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    Offline Cloudy

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    « Reply #1 on: 26/08/18, 20:50 »
    Iím very sorry you have gone through this  ^hugme^

    Itís a very tough choice and  I think you need to take your time. Your recent cycle was very recent and I think for a little bit taking a step back and thinking about how you feel if you try and it doesnít work, or if you donít try. Maybe call the counsellor again and ask for an appointment (I think you should get 3 counselling sessions from your clinic).

    Good luck whatever you decide. For us we changed the goal posts and made the decision to do one last cycle after which we agreed to have a year off and move on to adoption. As it was we were very fortunate and our cycle work, but we had take over a year between cycles to really explore all options (attended clinics for consultations and went on adoption information evenings and did the preliminarily required reading etc).

    Xxx

    Offline davies78

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    « Reply #2 on: 27/08/18, 16:18 »
    Hi cloudy
    Thank you  ...ive tried contacting the hospital today no answer but I still need my answers ...so for now il have to wait
    ..ive got my holiday coming up in 3 weeks time so going to chill out and may Be when I get back....il see which avenue il go down but part of me is saying one more go ...but will go to a different clinic this time around just hope my hubby will be on board with me

    X

    Offline Mochashosh

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    « Reply #3 on: 27/08/18, 16:45 »
    Hi Davies

    I think I saw you over on another thread.

    This is obviously a very personal decision, and you must take all the time you need to make it.  You are still dealing with all the emotions (not to mention hormones) from your last cycle.  Please do give yourself a chance, and only decide in your own time.

    My personal belief is that if you have the opportunity of a private cycle you should take it.  Otherwise, you might always wonder 'what if?'  You might also want to look into options abroad, as you may be able to get more than one cycle for a similar price.  There are lots of threads about that on here.

    You still have many options, so do please look around and get all the information you need to make the right decision.  I wish you all the luck in the world with whatever you decide.

    xx

    Offline kittykat76

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    « Reply #4 on: 27/08/18, 18:02 »
    How upsetting for you, I really hope you manage to get hold of the clinic and they can give you some info/answers as to why they didn't fertilise. Personally, if you can afford it I would go for a private cycle, I don't think the nhs is always that great for ivf,a private clinic tends to be more personalised. I don't know where you are based but The Lister and Zita West are both are good starting point if had treatment in the UK. Lots of luck with whatever you decide

    Offline davies78

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    « Reply #5 on: 27/08/18, 18:16 »
    Hi kittykat
    To be honest with you it's been horrendous...but really thought it our time ..with no answers as to why 7 embryos didn't  fertlize and to be told my hubbys  sperm was a better qulity then last time still confused as it's never been an issue before...but I will hopefully get my answers tomorrow when I contact the hospital again ..i feel that I don't need to be seen by the councellor just my questions answerd ...maybe private not sure yet ..we were going to the London's women's clinic but NHS came through...but not sure if my hubby wants to go through it all again. ..x

    Offline davies78

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    « Reply #6 on: 28/08/18, 08:06 »
    Hi Mochashos

    Thank you...it is a very hard decision..i plan on contacting the hospital this morning as I have so many questions I need answers for in relation to my egg collection..i feel guilty for being off work signed off for 4 weeks  so   that I would give it my best go this time but never got to my transfer ... due to.the nature of my job on my first cycle...and advised by the consultant...i mentioned to my hubby last night and going private for one last time and he freaked out ...not the answer I was hoping for to be honest ...ive not looked into going abroad to be honest ...but have had it mentioned to me by a family member ...but putting a brave face on at the moment it's so hard...trying my best to stay upbeat and positive ...

    Offline kittykat76

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    « Reply #7 on: 29/08/18, 10:57 »
    It must be so distressing, this journey is hard enough without not being able to speak to your clinic about it. If I were you I would look at clinics that are a bit more personalised, LWC in my experience ( I was with them and didn't have a great experience) are a bit like the NHS and have fairly standard protocols whereas there ae a few others that are better- more expensive but much more proactive x

    Offline davies78

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    « Reply #8 on: 29/08/18, 16:30 »
    Hi KityKat
    Thanks for the info hun really helpful....bit off an update I contacted the hospital yestrday they are having a mdt meeting about our  treatment either this week or next week most probably the end of the road with the NHS as I'm 40 in there weeks time but I have alternative roots I want to explore  ... and I also  mentioned I still have not had a phone call that was meant to be returned from last Thursday from the councellor ...and still no call ..im looking to go abroad for my last final go and was thinking about spain x