* Author Topic: Advice please: What do I do with all my dead baby's things now I'm childfree?  (Read 953 times)

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Offline wendycat

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This is something of a niche area - bereaved mum accepting and embracing a child free future, with baby stuff to get rid of.


I am now ready to deal with my daughter's things, but have no idea what to do with them. I've emptied the first draw, which is all Moses basket bedding and towels and things, all bought second hand. There's a lot, because I was really well prepared. But i also have the Moses basket and baby bouncer, nappies and sterilisers. What do I do with it all? I'm never going to use it, I've accepted that. No children for us. But i can't face selling it as the money would feel dirty some how, and I can't face giving it to a local charity shop because I can't stand the thought of anyone near me having any of it and me seeing it and also - and this is really awful - I can't bear the thought of someone who doesn't 'deserve it' having it, if that makes sense. I'm going to post this on the loss boards too, but advice from those of us without rainbow babies and happy endings would be very much appreciated xx


Wendy

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    Offline Artypants

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    Hi Wendy

    That's a huge decision you have made and a very brave one. In my area there are certain trusts that need baby things in really good condition, one being the Lily trust and brighter beginnings which is a charity that helps Mums who have been victims of domestic violence who have fled a very dangerous situation and have nothing. I often donate my daughters items to these organisations. Could you seek out similar organisations to donate to? Perhaps a social media search might throw up a couple of suggestions to local organisations in your area.

    Take care xxx

    Offline wendycat

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    Thank Artypants xx


    Still thinking. I'm in touch with Leeds at the bereavement suite where I'm hoping to send Matilda's Moses basket, and I have decided to try and make a memory blanket myself from all the bits that i love. But I still have a tonne of reusable nappies and sterilisers and stuff. I'm actually thinking about starting a crowd funding project to fund a support website for those grieving children and babies, and those who are childless and looking at a child free future, it would be a aimed at mainly creative ways of expressing the grief around it all - poems, photos, creative non fiction, blogs, and very much about embracing the individual experience of motherhood that baby loss and infertility and childlessness not through choice is. I'm considering selling the nappies and sterilisers and stuff to raise money to get it launched. They aren't worth anything, they're all second hand, but i don't think I can just give them away without them meaning something, if you see what i mean. I'm a wrier and the creative arts has been how I've processed my grief. I think a place where people can share their own art but also find novels, poetry collections, art exhibitions etc that will speak to them , I think that would be valuable, it would be a nice way of helping people. .


    Still thinking. Thanks so much for replying! x