* Author Topic: BFP Due Date - May/June 2019  (Read 25126 times)

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Offline mrscoyle

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BFP Due Date - May/June 2019
« Reply #10 on: 15/11/18, 15:35 »
Hopefulkayte - Fab to have you here hun and I know how you feel I am also very cautious with my history of mmc's.
Yes early May sounds about right i think, I am 12+3 and I'm due May 27th, but yes have to wait and see.
Hubby won't let me get a doppler! I would otherwise! I don't mind though a lot of people have said to me don't do it etc, we are planning on announcing about a week or 2 before Christmas I will be 16/17 weeks and I have my 16w midwife appointment on December 10th and hoping she will let me hear the heart beat then i will feel more confident announcing, if not i will see my Dr an ask him to do it i think, although I have been eyeing up a fab offer that window to the womb are doing in Reading at the mo £60 you get to find out the gender get 4d scans get a check over etc and 4 photos etc so sounds good, and I am very tempted to do that although don't think hubby wants to! we will see. my 20w scan is 8th Jan.
Currently I have told a few close friends and some family, as they all know we are having IVF. How about you? who ave you told and when will you announce?

AFM - STRETCH MARKS!  :( So i already have 2 that i have just noticed on my belly! and i started last night with palmers body butter for stretch marks, belly, hips and boobs! I know its all part of the magic and so its all to be expected but going to do my best to resist them! anyone else had any yet?

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    Offline HopefulKayte

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    « Reply #11 on: 15/11/18, 16:42 »
    MrsC, your husband might be right about the doppler. It was really great for my anxiety, until I realized 3 weeks later I had actually been listening to my heartbeat the whole time! Yes, in my lower stomach/upper vagina area! I'm such a genius. Haha. I later realized thanks to YouTube it should sound like a galloping horse which helped me out, but it still is easier to pick up the mother's heartrate or the blood pumping through the umbilical cord.

    re: stretch marks, I did buy a special cream from a Baby Boutique last time and will again. I haven't yet as I'm put on some weight over the past 5 years with all the cycles and stress, and have basically stopped exercising the past 2 years through non-stop donor cycles. This means there is some extra fluff unfortunately for the baby to grow into this time, so I don't think I will show as early. (Though last time I was in regular clothes until 20 weeks despite being smaller!) I would definitely say the cream worked for me and my friends. Just buy a quality product intended specifically for this purpose. In my last month I got a couple tiny little marks, but they turned silvery/skin colour after.

    I shared with three girlfriends so far, including my two closest friends at work, considering I'm off work and disappeared mysteriously for many weeks without communication while I was on m/c risk for a month. They were all so lovely to me. When my friends from work came over, they actually brought over flowers and some meals, despite not knowing what the heck was going on with me. So kind!! They immediately felt bad realizing I couldn't eat the meals but I said it was a huge help for DH, who now takes care of everything at home, with our son, and me too.

    We will share with our son at Christmas, I will be 21 weeks. By default our families will then know at Christmas time. It may sound funny to people whose families are very close and who have been very involved/supportive of their inferility journeys, but our families have kind of been a disappointment over the past 10 years. Definitely no flowers or meals, much less any other form of support or notable empathy/emotional support, so that's been hard for us. They are well-meaning people who just don't get it, even when we try to explain it. Infertility treatments of any sort are not covered in the Canadian health care or insurance system, so it's been quite a stressor for us, and they have no idea about the overseas donor cycles. We felt we needed to protect ourselves based on how they responded to our OE cycles in another city, and the one miscarriage they know about. So all this to say, I've really had a lot of time to think about the kind of person/friend/mother I want to be, and how important emotional and mental help is, as well as lending any form of support that can help assist a time of depression or emergency in a loved one. Since I have a few friends that have been great at this, I feel those are the people that helped our child and hopefully second child into this world, their love and communication was so critical for us. In a way I hope I can kind of communicate this to our families (whom I'm sure will be shocked to learn I am pregnant, who don't even know I'm off work) - that I will be 21 weeks when they learn of this. If they express how I could have kept this a secret, I'm trying to work on a way to share that we did tell people who have been really supportive and involved in our journey, whom we knew would be there if something went wrong. Trying to figure out a gentle way of saying this (especially at holiday time) will be challenging, but it's really important to me. I have had to grow and learn and sacrifice so much, and for many years put others feelings and comfort first... I think our families could do a bit of reflecting too.

    We could have found out the gender at 9 weeks as we did the Panorama test, but I was still high risk at that time, so didn't want to know that. But now I do! DH would be happy to have a suprise this time around, but has admitted he knows that won't happen with me wanting to know, haha. We are thinking of maybe doing a little family reveal together the 3 of us at viability in January.

    I love hearing everyone's plans and thoughts, whether they are the same or different, it really is interesting to hear of everyone's journeys and perspectives on things xo

    Offline Leonjay

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    « Reply #12 on: 15/11/18, 19:16 »
    Hi hopefulkate - Iím 14 + 3 so not too far behind you, Iím due 13th May so first week of May sounds about right for you. I have my 20 weeks scan between Christmas and new year and canít wait!!

    I too struggled with all the waiting - my 12 week scan was more like 13 weeks and that extra week was hell!

    I feel more relaxed now Iíve seen baby moving but even so I know the time will drag to Christmas.

    Why was your first trimester so stressful - was it just the waiting or did you have other problems??

    Offline HopefulKayte

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    « Reply #13 on: 15/11/18, 20:43 »
    Hi Leonjay, I totally hear you... I purposely picked week 18 for my scan bc I didnít want to wait 2 more weeks. You patient girl! What a special holiday season it will be for you guys!

    I had super-high betas and this was a double donor cycle unlike my last 2 miscarriages which were OE and DE. I donít have immune issues so was hopefull this time around. A couple days after my second beta I started to bleed, them heavily without stopping and pain. Iíve been there before so we were devastated. At 5 weeks there was a baby with a heartbeat and this made it harder as we were expected to lose it. Super long story short I was put on bedrest and waited 5 long weeks for it to happen and despite the constant bleeding and cramping - it never did! The baby somehow survived and I went for a scan every week until 12 weeks. They never saw any cause for the bleed, which is why we were prepared for the worst the whole time. I stopped bleeding at 10 weeks and am still traumatized by this and past experiences, but have finally started talking more about my pregnancy online and starting to think a little bit ahead. I have also been quite ill since 7 weeks with vomiting, heartburn and digestive issues, which has been reassuring but continues to limit me daily. So while Iím sick and pretty weak from all the bedrest and eating so little, I can honestly say I have never felt so lucky and I prayed for these days. I will happily take it! xo

    Offline lori84

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    « Reply #14 on: 15/11/18, 22:42 »
    Hi all

    Looks like this will be my new home from now, we had our 12 week scan yesterday (Iím 11 weeks 5 days) and saw the little heart beat and it was scratching itís head and wiggling about but it was a little monkey and wouldnít lie on its back so it could be measured so we have no idea the size of it!! So we have to go back at week 15 and get another scan and hopefully it will cooperate at that one lol the person doing the ultrasound had me up doing star jumps and banging my bum off the bed to get this little thing to move into the correct position but it was having none of it!!

    Offline mrscoyle

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    « Reply #15 on: 15/11/18, 22:45 »
    Hopefulkayte - yeah I watched a few utube video on the as well, it was interesting, but seeing my Dr struggle to find my babyís heart beat (took him like ages) it has put me off getting one even more lol!
    Ok fab, thanks I think Iíll have a little look online and see what options there is, my mum has suggested coconut oil. I think the more then better lol! Yeah iv gone up a dress size this year! Due to cycles and gained like a stone! So like a size 14 now and I had a good little belly anyway although itís already feeling bigger!
    Thatís so lovely of your work friends bless them! A couple of people I work with know but no one else, I have a shop in an Arcade so donít really see anyone else all day luckily! Lol

    Thatís sad about your family and a lack of any support, I donít see my mum much anymore as she got married and moved to the coast but she didnít really understand why we where spending all this money and doing it, but when I talk to her sheís supportive now. And Iím lucky with my family I think they have all been supportive, but none of them have been through it so they donít really understand. I think that your plan to tell the family at Christmas and how is fab, a really good idea hun! An I know what you mean about finding out the gender that makes sense but yeah I bet you do want to know now lol!
    I agree, itís interesting to hear how everyone else is going about everything.


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    Offline mrscoyle

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    « Reply #16 on: 15/11/18, 22:47 »
    Lori84 - yay! Fab to see you hear! And so please your scan went well, thatís so funny about your little monkey scratching itís head etc! Lol it made me giggle imagining u in the room ding star jumps lol! Iím sure baby it will be better at the 15w scan! So funny, mine was lying but jumping up and down, so strange to watch! X x


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    Offline HopefulKayte

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    « Reply #17 on: 16/11/18, 02:02 »
    Lori - congrats! And also congrats on being able to do star jumps. I can't even imagine. You rock haha!

    Mrs, I hear you on the tummy, at this point I can't imagine a bump filling out and surpassing my giant boobs. They got bigger as I put on weight, but then with all the Estrogen even bigger, and now with being pregnant, it's a sorry state of affairs. I both wear and sleep in sports bras! Do you do a lot of standing in your job? Do you feel a difference being pregnant yet?

    Anyone else struggling waiting for scans? I feel this is a strange stage. I feel like I need the reassurance I'm pregnant. Which I guess is feeling sick but we have been experimenting with my drugs the past few days and am feeling better. Who wishes for what is like food poisoning to continue? I must be officially loony. I often forget I am pregnant and of course can't feel any movement yet. When I've felt this way for awhile I get the doppler out but as Mrs explained well, it's not as simple as I imagined. Having support from one another is certainly helpful in these weeks!

    Offline mrscoyle

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    « Reply #18 on: 16/11/18, 11:40 »
    Kayte - Yeah I am the same my boobs were one of the first things that hurt, I wear a post surgery bra all day and 1 all night as well, it so comfy.
    I have a shop in town so spend most the day sat behind the counter, packaging orders, and doing work, occassionally I am changing mannequins etc but usually sat, Im just looking at getting a proper chair as the one i have at the mo is no good, plus i will have baby with me in the shop so will need a proper nursing chair. Yes very different because I have nausea all day lunch is usually a plain packet of crisps or porridge recently, luckily by the evening i am feeling better and able to eat a meal before feeling nauseas again later in the evening! Also belly is already feeling bigger before it just felt bloated but now if feels bigger as well, then there the fatigue, not sleeping great my pregnancy pillow should arrive today I hope!
    What was your first symptom? Yes so hard to wait till next scan! in-fact I have booked a private one today!

    AFM - As our next scan isn't until 8th Jan, we have decided to book a private scan! we have found a great deal, at the window to the womb in Reading, you get a scan, a wellbeing check & report to take home, gender conformation, 4 x photos, 4d scan peek and a personal scan assistant. all for £59 so that is booked in for the 16th December, then is all goes well we will announce the following week when I am 17w.
    and yay my pregnancy pillow just arrived! cant wait to try it tonight!



    Offline Janeliot

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    « Reply #19 on: 16/11/18, 21:49 »
    Hi everyone,

    Lori - Congratulations on your scan.  Very cute thst little one was scratching his/her head.  So sweet.  Did you still get pictures anyway?  .

    HopefulKate - It is AGES to wait for the next scan.  Mrs C's idea of going to window to the womb in between is a very good one I think.  I may be considering that.  I'm struggling with reminding myself of the pregnancy as well.  Although, my tummy has popped out and is starting to look quite pregnant already.

    Mrs C - That's nice to tell family at christmas.  It's a lovely idea. 

    AFM -So I'm 13 weeks now and looking a bit pregnant.  I'm struggling to know what to wear.  Especially at weekends as I can't wear my jeans properly anymore.  I was big with my son so I'm big already now.  The couople of work colleagues that know have said that I can't keep it a secret anymore and that probably people are guessing already.  I just don't know how you tell peopel at work.  I got a bit upset when I was pregnant with my son as my colleague, who knew that I was going through IVF and then consequently knew that it had worked, blabbed it out and everyone ended up knowing way before I was ready for them to.  But in a way it did me a big favour.  I did also have a load of time off work as I was on bed rest because of bleeding.  So I don't know how to do it this time.  It feels a bit awkward. 

    I've not got a great family situation at the moment.  Not going to improe either.  My mum has early onset dementia that has become very advanced in the last year.  My dad, who is now 81, is her carer and it is a terrible struggle for him.  He has been a very emotionally abusive man throughout my life and to my mother though so our relationship is strained.  Having said that, he has found a mountain of patience and love for my mum in her illness and is a very good carer.  But it's very difficult still to be in his presence as he continues his negative attitude towards me and at the moment I'm not the strongest of people. 

    And then there's my parents in law.   They were completely terrible when we told them about this pregnancy and I wish that I hadn't.  They just kept on expressing shock but never any happiness.  And yes, it was a shock, we never thought it poeeible.  But then my father in law said that he supposed it was one of the risks after a successful pregnancy.  Risk?  I told him that risk was the wrong word.  Anyway, I'm more offended by my sister in law.  They said that as we had told them we should tell her so my DH did but ended the call prematurely.  I really can't understand her reason for her attitude towards him and this.  I really can't.  It's really odd and makes me worry that there's something wrong that I don't know about.  The main thing though is that our son did inherit my faulty gene and it's being treated currently.  That is, apparetnly my parents in law's worry, which is understandable.  But Ir eally needed some comfort.  My mum was my rock, I miss her so much.  She was soooo loving and caring and very supportive.  I really miss all that so much.  My parents in law are emotionally a bit rubbish.  They don't show their emotions or love for their children.  They're quite awkward in that respect and I really struggle with that as it's not what I've been used to.

    I should stop prattling on.  I really need a bit of joy about this pregnancy.  I didn't allow my DH to be joyous at the beginning as I was so paranoid and now i feel so sad about family.  I really wanted a bit of celebration.  As, although it's a second child, I see it as a total miricle.  I really didn't see this as a possiblity at all.

    Anyway, wishing you all a very good weekend.