* Author Topic: BFP Due Date - May/June 2019  (Read 22780 times)

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Offline HopefulKayte

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« Reply #30 on: 20/11/18, 16:46 »
Bossy.... you know I am over the moon for you!!! This is absolutely incredible! You are one of the strongest people I've known of - you have battled and battled. It made me teary to read about this being one of the best days of your life. So special and hard fought for! I am just delighted for you to join us. You will adore your little boy. Mine is the light of my life and their love for a momma, so special. You will be such a terrific Mom!

MrsCoyle, glad that the thyroid results are so excellent! That is great. And arrrgh.. I hate the system of waiting for a call or letter. Way to play on already concerned women's fears! Just so you know, sometimes they call regardless. This was my experience and some others I know on here. When my phone rang and it was the results, I almost had a heart attack, but my midwife said, "I'm just calling you so you don't have a heart attack waiting." LOL! Hang in there, I'm sure all will be well!

I too am disappointed the midwifery system here is not as developed and recognized as it is there. Midwife care is not common here, and kind of seen like the venture of an individual woman, rather than a professional career which is easily merged with the hospitals and other health care providers. It's kind of a joke, as my midwife had her Master's in her studies, and even my own doctor admitted physicians only go through a brief rotation in all their family care topics. I hope it'll change in the future. My midwife was truly by my side, and she had a back-up that I could see if she was at a birth or on another call. She also was a lactation specialist, which was a lifesaver for us as our son couldn't breastfeed or take a bottle easily for several months. (and LOL - it's like my thyroid level is the main priority. I just got a call booking another thyroid follow-up - had one 2 weeks ago - for my third trimester. I was like when the heck is that? I guess thryoids are all the rage here.)

I love the idea of the pudding shirt - that is just adorable! Thanks for the reminder of a pregnancy pillow - I think mine is stuffed in a garbage bag in the basement somewhere, I will try to dig it up! I will be 21 weeks at Christmas, so we are thinking it might be okay to tell our son then and following hopefully a good scan a few weeks before. We are thinking of ordering a t-shirt for him, that he could open on Christmas Eve, which has Santa on it saying, "Best gift ever - you're going to be a big brother!" So that's still in my shopping cart online and just need to pull the trigger, haha.

Bossy, how/when are you thinking of sharing your fab news??

Thinking of those we haven't heard from in a bit and hoping all is well!!

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    Offline mrscoyle

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    « Reply #31 on: 21/11/18, 11:27 »
    HopfulKayte - Thank you, I am relieved! I know its so bad! Thats good to know that you, although they already phoned lol the day after! I had a small heart attack but it was just to get some info about my IVF cycle, so it was ok. Lol thats so good about the thyroid checks there! they are on it there! its very different over here, I had to ask my ivf clinic to check mine and then I was put on thyroxine as it was too high for fertility but my gp classed it as normal and wouldn't have given me anything if the clinic hadn't sent him a letter! I think over here it is being more noticed now, thank goodness.
    I cant wait to were my pudding jumper lol! I hope i get too! I love the idea of the t-shirt for your son, such a good idea! and yes dig out the pillow! I love mine!  x

    Offline Janeliot

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    « Reply #32 on: 22/11/18, 20:45 »
    Hello everyone,

    I've got a bit lost with posts on here.  I have been followign but then I've been too tired to post.  when I was pregnant with my son I used to come home from work, sit down and nod off.  I don't have that option now.  It's all systems go and I feel pretty knackered.

    Bossy - Did I ccongratulat you on your 12 week scan?   If I haven't then a big congratulations.  It's wonderful news and I'm really happy that you feel so happy.  It's a wonderful feeling, especially when you never thought this could happen.  It's really very special. And a boy!  Yay.  Totally agree with HopefulKate on the love you get.  I get the nicest cuddles already from my little star.
    .
    HopefulKate - Sounds like you have a good plan in place though for your care?  I think midwives are generally fantastic.  The only problem about the uK, or more specifically a London borough, is that you never see the same one twice.  Unless you pay for the service of course and then I think you can get the same one throughout the birth.  My son took quite a while in coming so I went through 3 midwives.  It was 26 hours I think, so 2 full 12 hour shifts and then he was born 2 hours into the third midwives shift.  That's another story anyway, it was all fine.  I don't want anyone to be scared by that. I dont' know if I should have mentioned it.  It wasn't as bad as it sounds at all.  Anyway.  We'll all be getting to those birth plans at some point! 

    MrsCoyle - Good stuff on your thyroid results.  That's one less worry.

    Hello Aley - I'm a bit shocked at your work.  It sounds really hard.  I have told my work place and we've gone through a pregnancy risk assessment already.  I think your work should be sitting down with you to do the same.  I don't know anything much about employment law but your employer has a duty of care to it's employees.  You and your baby are definitely more important, I totally agree with MrsCoyle on that one.  I hope things get less manic and more manageable for you.

    Hello everyone else, hope you are all doing ok.

    AFM - I think I confused everyone about me worrying about how to tell people at work.  I've told my manager and everythiing has been fine thre.  I'm just now sure how to tell my other colleagues.  I'm just hopeing that they'll see me getting bigger and ask me an awkward question one day. 

    I've bought some maternity jeans.  I just can't fit comfortably into much any more.  Not even my dresses.  I'm wearing a skirt today that I've I can't do up, my t-shirt is covering that fact.  I'm a sort person but even so, I pupped out pretty early with my son too.  Then they had me on closer observation as I was so big.  I wonder if this is goig the same way. 

    Have a good evening everyone. x

     


    Offline Bossy

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    « Reply #33 on: 23/11/18, 09:01 »
    Hey lovelies,

    Thank you so much for your kind words and warmth , you are all so special to me!!
    So I had my 12 week scan and midwife appointment yesterday and everything looked good with baby but his head is measuring one week ahead! The doctor didn't seem concerned about it at all and didn't even mention it but you know how we are.. Now I'm all worried! Have you ever heard of that? Of course I googled it and mostly it doesn't mean anything but of course there are also some horror stories
    My next scan is at 16weeks. This will be the first time  when I have to wait that long for a scan, hope I won't go crazy

    Offline mrscoyle

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    « Reply #34 on: 23/11/18, 11:00 »
    Janeliot - Lol that made me giggle, saying and hopefully they will just ask me an awkward question! lol I think if you told 1 of them then the news would spread? Im not sure anyone would have the guts to ask that! I never would! lol
    How many weeks are you now? I think if its comfier than thats the way to go and generally you always show earlier with a second pregnancy anyway.

    Bossy - Thats so fab that all went well with scan and midwife yay, No I haven't heard about that before but I think that if the proffessionals  have said all is fine then i'm sure all will be ok so try not to worry hun. have u got a NHS 16 week scan? as I have a 16w midwife appointment but i don't get another NHS scan until 20w! Jan 8th. Thats why I have my private scan booked in for my 16w well ill be closer to 17w really, but thats the 16th December and its such a long long wait!

    Offline HopefulKayte

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    « Reply #35 on: 23/11/18, 14:20 »
    It's so hard for infertility patients to depart from regular monitoring, scans, and medical conversations at this point, isn't it?? My doctor assured me that despite the high-risk first trimester, I'm 'normal' now, but that's really hard to believe and get used to. I purposely scheduled my 18-22 week scan at 18 weeks as I couldn't go two months this early on without a scan. Two weeks to go! It is at 18.5 weeks.

    Bossy, I know how hard it is, but I think we need to self-talk ourselves through all the measurement stuff and just have faith. After having 6 ultrasounds by week 12, I learned that some things I was told the week before, we no longer relevant the following week, and when the baby is smaller it's harder to be precise. So happy for you that things are going great!

    Jane, that's very cute about your bump, must be a lovely reminder at this stage between scans and feeling movement!

    MrsC, will you have someone to cover for you at your shop while you recover from birth with babe?

    AFM, no real updates here, although something interesting did happen the other day. I think I wrote before about our families meaning well but there being a lot of disappointment the past going-on decade about their lack of support and reaching out with our infertility, miscarriages, etc. I didn't really want to give them a 'pass' as they are all well-adapted people, professional careers and comfortable lives, and otherwise healthy relationships in their lives. There was a time I believed I did not deserve love or support, or to be a mother, when I was in hospital or had admitted depression, based on their total lack of support and response. They also knew our extreme financial stress, as zero cycles are covered here, and we don't live near a clinic. They could have offered support but didn't, and now being a parent, I can't imagine being in that position and not feeling overcome with tears and wanting to help my child in any way that I could if they were not able to have children and their lives being turned upside down. Anyway, with support from our counsellor, a few years ago we made the hard decisions to pull away from our families and no longer discuss anything. It's been hard but we have felt healthier and less heartbroken.

    Anyway, the other day my husband dropped by my Mom's house to assist her with a brief job, and she said she wanted to tell him something. She said it had been on her mind for a long time and she wanted to say something. She said if we wanted to pursue adoption, she would pay for it for us, and would be happy to do so. My husband was shocked and didn't know what to say, he's also thinking to himself, we are almost 17 weeks pregnant and she has no idea yet. When he came home and told me, I was so moved I cried. It made me feel like this was her way of acknowledging how much we have been through, our dreams, and maybe even her way of saying sorry in her own way for not being more compassionate or responsive emotionally in the past to us. I felt like maybe I can let the disappointment go in my mother from over the years, and move on from the past bad memories knowing she does care and "see us" after all. Thought I would share that story, I know some people are very close to their families and can talk about anything, this hasn't been the case for us and we have felt shame shouldering really tough times that they knew about, so this really was such a beyond generous offer and a beacon of hope for me with my mom - not even foremost the incredible offer of the money, but the offer from the heart.

    Hope everyone has a great Friday!

    Offline Janeliot

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    « Reply #36 on: 23/11/18, 21:19 »
    I agree HopefulKate.  About the medication and everything.  Even though this is a natural pregnancy, I'm so used to the IVF stuff that I couldn't imagine going it alone without being monitored by my IVF clinic.  Anyway, it's proving quite pricey but I'm so paranoid.  I went to my GP today to discuss me not doing that anymore and would it all be fine if I started treating it as a normal pregnancy. The clinic I had my son with monitors their patients very closely and for quite a while.  Anyway, was so glad that the dr was very understanding and reasuring.  But once you've done IVF a few times it's so hard not to analise every little thing. 

    Lovely story about your mum by the way.  I've been having trouble with family.  I thought I came from a closish family.  But now that my mum has advanced dementia I realise that it was all her.  She meant so much to me and I miss her soooo terribly.  It seems to get worse when I'm pregnant and I properly grieved for her when my son was born.  I was very aneamic and kept halucinating that she was in the room with me and the baby blues were probably a bit of a culprit.  I thought having a baby would take my mind off the loss as I would be very busy but it's sort of the opposite as she would have loved her role as granny.  I feel pretty lost in the family department.  My dad and I do not get on, various reasons but he's been a source of dreadful tension.   Totally understand the need for distance. And then there are my parents in law whom I just cannot understand.  They seem so devoid of emotion or ability to show love.  It really confuses me.  But none of that would matter if my mum was ok.  But there we go.  All families are so different and so odd aswell!  But I totally agree about showing compassion to your child.  Having had my son I just can't imagine treating him in the way that my husband and I have been treated during all of our trials and tribulations.

    Bossy - I agree with everyone else.  But totally understand why you've started analysing it.  Did the sonographer tell you or did you read your notes?  I was always scanning over my notes worrying about this and that.  Now, our hospital have moved everythign on to this app so I don't have any green notes.  I think I should be able to find them on the app but I'm not sure they've been uploaded yet.  I've also found some errors in my notes that never happened with the manual green notes.  I'm not too chuffed with this app thing.  It's run by a private company of course.  Does anyone else have this?

    MrsCoyle - I just have a midwife appointment for 16 weeks also.  It's such a long wait until the 20 week scan, which I dont' have booked in yet, that I think I will book a private one.  There's a Window to the Womb place literally 8 mins walk from me so I think that's far too tempting not to do.  I will do it at around 16-17 weeks.  I'll see how long I can hold out for.

    No news here.  I work part time.  Today was one of my days off so spent it with my son but absolutely exhausted at the end of the day.  So so so tired.  Not much else to say really.  Just hope everything is good with everyone.  Have a lovely Friday evening.


    Offline mrscoyle

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    « Reply #37 on: 24/11/18, 10:44 »
    HopefulKayte - Yes it is hard, When i was finally discharged form my clinic it was amazing! and been feeling more like a normal pregnancy although the IVF thing has come up a couple of times, this is my 6th cycle so at the moment it feels like I will never get past IVF coming up at some point in the pregnancy!
    I haven't thought too much about shop cover at the moment as I am still nervous and don't want to look to far ahead, Although a couple of people that help me out at the shop know and they have said they are happy to help somehow so thats good. I am going to wait till our 20w scan on Jan 8th, before making any plans like that I think.
    Thats such a lovely story about your family, I think with some people, especially family they feel they need to give their opinion, etc although they don't understand anything about it at all and so end up making it harder with out realising, but the sound of it she has had time to realise that this is what you want and she wants to help if she can. Its lovely an I am sure it will make your relationship better.

    Janeliot - Yes I think thats a good idea booking 1 for between 16-17w, My 20w scan came really early and it is on the 8th Jan, I have booked a private scan for December 16th to check everything is fine and find out the gender so that we can then announce the week after so I will be 16+6 on that scan, although I'm already struggling with the wait! But i cant move it much as i need to be at least 16w for the scan so incentive to wait!

    AFM - I am 14w on Monday cant believe it! and Yesterday on the sofa I felt something like a flicking sort of flutters hard to describe but i put it down to stretching and cramps but now i think it could well have been baby moving! I thought it was too early but after a little googling discovered that its not, I am very sensitive in that area anyway so i'm not surprised. I am now paying extra attention in case it happens again.
    Anyway I hope it is as its very reassuring if it actually is baby!

    Hope everyone has a lovely weekend planned, I have a friends Baby shower tomorrow, she's 43 and also IVF, So it will be fun I am looking forward to it and it will be strange going somewhere people know I am pregnant! As she had to tell a friend that was organising it I was pregnant and also a couple of other IVF friends will be going as well. Then Monday is my day off and i get to relax!

    Offline Aley

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    « Reply #38 on: 24/11/18, 13:54 »
    Hi girls!

    I am terrible at writting back!
    I hope everyone is enjoying the weekend.

    Bossy, congratulations! It feels so good to be past the 12 weeks, right? I will be a boy mom too like I've always dreamt and is just so exciting.
    I wouldn't worry about measurements too much. When I had my NIPT test I also had a scan and the sonographer dated me 2 days behind. I panicked for days especially since all my scans up until that time were either 1 or 2 days ahead not behind. Well, at my 12 weeks scan, which was a week after they put my date up to a day. It really all depends on the machine they use, the skills of the person that does the scan, how they take the measurements and so on. At my 12 weeks they only measured the baby's length and not the rest as I think is a bit too early to be accurate.

    mrscoyle, that's amazing that you felt the little one. I am waiting for it and keep hoping but nothing yet. And is for sure possible, I've heard of women feeling it from 13 weeks. Enjoy the baby shower!

    Janeliot, how are you keeping? No wonder you feel tired. I look at myself, all I do is come home from work and put my legs up. My wife does everything around the house, I am so very lucky...can't imagine how will it be having a child already. I am so sorry to hear about your mother, dementia is unfair to the person and to the people around...

    HopefulKayte, so nice of your mother. I completely understand the lack of support. I expect nothing from my family since they up to this point have no idea that I had ivf or that I am pregnant, the only one that knows is my sister but she wasn't really there  for me either. Anyway, I think I was expecting more from friends but never got any and even now I sometimes feel angry and upset about it but trying move on. Amazing idea of the t shirt. How old is your son?

    I don't have any exciting news....just first world problems I guess. First, as I said before I can't fit my jeans since the first trimester but I was ok with loose trousers and leggings....well, that's not the case anymore and yesterday I had to wear maternity jeans for the first time but hey, those are loose and falling off! Just can't win! And I'll probably regret this later but I am not gaining weight despite having a visible belly which I find a bit weird. I eat very well and I had a very good pregnancy so far, never felt sick so I was expecting some weight gain by now. Obvs I am just fearful that the baby is not growing.
    Next scan is next Sunday and I just wish the week will pass in a second. I don't think I'll be fully relaxed until this baby is in my arms
    Forgot to say, with work I decided I'll stay on a regular rota including the 24h until I am bigger or if something happens...hopefully not! The place is not too busy and if it stays like this I'll be ok.

    Offline Honeybee17

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    « Reply #39 on: 24/11/18, 18:49 »
    Hi everyone,

    How are you all? Sorry not to be in touch, this week was insanely busy before heading out to SA and had some long work days then straight onto the overnight flight on Thursday and didnít sleep much. Husband met me at the airport and now I feel like I can just enjoy some r!r. Hopeful kayte and Janeliot, sorry to read about your difficult family situations. So nice hopeful kayte though to hear that maybe your mum had been giving your situation a lot more thought than you realised and while Iím sure you could have done with that support all along, Iím pleased that sheís acknowledged this. When do you think you will feel comfortable telling people.

    Bossy, so pleased to hear your scan went well. I did giggle about the head measurements too and only because every time we have a scan my OH is concerned because they seem to measure and comment on everything but the brain. I am absolutely sure all is fine though if the sonographer has shown no concern.

    MesC how are you doing? How is the bidding going on your Christmas jumper??!

    AFM - so pleased to be on hols but slightly concerned as I have had pale brown discharge today. No blood and I know I had a similar thing last week and later in the day it was all fine but concerned here because of the flight which they say really shouldnít be an issue but my tummy was so swollen yesterday (water retention I think) I had a v obvious bump. Went down today. Iím sure all is fine. I keep telling myself that we had two scans on tues/wed all was fine, baby measuring a couple of days ahead and all low risk blood tests but itís still scary. Havenít told OH as donít want him worrying unnecessarily if this is nothing. Will see how things are tomorrow. Is anyone else getting pale brown/pink. Sorry to ask!

    Well ladies, think I will call it a night now but hope you have a nice evening and a relaxing day tomorrow.

    Lots of love xx