* Author Topic: Canít decide any opinions welcome  (Read 1283 times)

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Offline Cma700

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Canít decide any opinions welcome
« on: 24/11/18, 14:43 »
hi all, you have been a sense of comfort over the past 7 years.
I canít decide if to move on or not
wanted to ask everyoneís opinion! I feel like I have had enough itís been a tough year IVF in Spain with DE failed in May (no 5 first one with DE) and Hubbie had to have open heart surgery in August.
I have started looking into adoption but I know that is also challenging and feel angry that we would have to be vetted and training to have a child when others are just having them by mistake! We are good people who just want to have a child. Hope that doesnít offend anyone as I obviously know why they do the checks etc.

 I think I have it in my head it wonít work anyway but then I still have 5 embryos (donor egg) sat there. 1 fully tested and great quality which there is a chance it could work. It is also not too expensive either for a FET. If I was to have another go I wanted to have it completed by the end of the year and then if it didnít work, I could start the year fresh ready to move on with our lives. But my periods have been playing up, so my prostrap and scratch is booked in for 10/12 which The clinic says means  the transfer will not take place until early January.
Really donít know what to do.
Xxx

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    Offline Artypants

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    Canít decide any opinions welcome
    « Reply #1 on: 24/11/18, 14:55 »
    HI CMA

    If it were me I would keep going with the FET, you will always wonder if not. It took me 6 goes to finally make it and sometimes it can take more which is utterly soul destroying. I really hope your sticky bfp is in those frozen embies xx

    Offline bombsh3ll

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    « Reply #2 on: 24/11/18, 19:12 »
    Only you can decide, but I think you'd be leaving a lot of room for regret to walk away with FIVE embryos left. Unless for health reasons or absolute dire financial straits, most people would tend to draw a line after they'd transferred all their remaining embryos from their last cycle.

    We actually tried the adoption process first, as I was not concerned about either genes or gestation & preferred the idea of giving a home to a child already in the world, but unfortunately hit a brick wall with that, then moved to IVF as our less desirable option. I put myself through OE first before learning DE existed, and paid for fresh before learning embryo adoption was a thing. I got my little star on the fresh DE cycle so never went to embryo adoption.

    My periods were generally regular, but I never counted on them for IVF and always used the pill to control the dates I started a cycle with, I'm not sure if that's something you could discuss with your clinic, or alternatively a short course of progesterone to induce a period at the required time.

    Good luck, I really hope you get your miracle.

    B x

    Offline bombsh3ll

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    « Reply #3 on: 24/11/18, 19:28 »
    PS how many are you transferring at a time? You mention having one tested and ready to go. I'm not sure if Spanish regulations have changed, but when I went they allowed max of 3 transferred. Two was the norm but I put forward a strong and well researched case for 3.

    B x

    Offline Stacey10

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    « Reply #4 on: 24/11/18, 19:58 »
    Have you looked into immune testing and checking for clotting disorders? Also the era test might be worth having done. If you havenít Iíd look at getting those done first before you go into any other transfers.   ^hugme^

    Offline aster10

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    « Reply #5 on: 24/11/18, 20:44 »
    As I was in 2ww for my FET of my last remaining DE embryos, I kept thinking - do I go for another round of DE at a new clinic (Serum/Iakentro) or do I go for a (foreign) surrogacy package which would allow me a couple of DE attempts with myself before proceeding with a surrogate (with money spent on DE attempts with myself counting towards the surrogacy package if they are unsuccessful). The moment I got a BFN, I opted for the latter. Am 22w pregnant with twins. One thing I was struck by on the surrogacy face bookbook group was how someone described her immunes treatment (with Braverman) and said that some immune tests would make surrogacy look cheap. But there was a consensus that immunes were most likely not an issue for me, more a lining issue. I really did not want to adopt for reasons similar to yours. Drs Braverman and Gorgy are leaders in immunes, but more expensive, ARGC in UK also do immunes testing when you cycle with them, Serum in Athens do immunes tests cheaper but their  tests are not accepted by ARGC for example (does it mean they are worse? Donít know, Braverman/Gorgy/ARGC probably offer more sophisticated treatments and tests, there is a competition between Serumís lab and a lab in Chicago that does othersí tests). I am summarising what I learned from this forum mainly, but I did not seriously consider immunes. Serum also do ERA, hysteroscopies, hidden C tests - some people are unsure about it all, I did do a hidden C test with them and a hysto, I think they helped actually, and Serum themselves did not think an ERA was necetfor me. Perhaps you would consider chatting to Serum before doing further FETs?

    Offline Cma700

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    « Reply #6 on: 25/11/18, 10:15 »
    Thank you I donít think I could could do any more tests or try anything else. To top it off I was 40 last month so want to draw a line under it and get on with my life next year. So itís either one more go or move straight on to adoption. Xx

    Offline bombsh3ll

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    « Reply #7 on: 25/11/18, 17:11 »
    I can totally understand you not wanting any more tests, a lot of it is very expensive and the clinical evidence of their value is scant.

    But you've five embryos sitting there, transferring at worst 3 one month and if not successful the remaining 2 a couple of months later would be nothing in the grand scheme of things and you'd then have no room for regrets.

    Adoption really is great for some people but having tried both and failed at adoption, I can say the process is a lot more invasive and protracted than IVF, happens entirely on other people's terms and timecales, and equally comes with no guarantee of a child at the end of it. I would definitely transfer what you've got before embarking on that.

    Good luck whatever you decide to do!

    B x