* Author Topic: BFP Due Date - July/August 2019  (Read 23278 times)

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Offline secondseven

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« Reply #260 on: 18/03/19, 07:33 »
@Eloise Iím so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you x

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    Offline klik

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    « Reply #261 on: 18/03/19, 18:07 »
    Eloise, I'm so sorry... What a horrible tragedy. I hope you have some time and space to start the healing process, but this is so painful--it will take a long time. I am so, so sorry... Life is unbelievably unfair sometimes. Please take care...

    secondseven, I think I'm too ignorant to be afraid of an emergency C-section--what makes them so important to avoid? If they are dangerous/best avoided, an elective C-section at 39 weeks might be ideal, no? That way, if you go into labour before that, you could go for a natural birth instead? Also, 39 weeks sounds early to me, but I haven't had this conversation with my doc yet... Feeling very ignorant indeed! Anyway, I hope/trust your cheeky scan went well!

    LXP, I'm so glad you're in Dubai and that you're having a lovely time! I honestly cannot believe our luck, that we've made it past viability day... May this day come to everyone else on this forum who has been fortunate enough not to have had tragic news...

    s1974, it's so true--there are no guarantees. I think we just have to take it day by day, moment by moment--every minute that passes increases the likelihood of a healthy baby. I'm still full of anxiety, but every new day brings enormous relief: so far, so good. I hope it continues to go like that for you... Have you felt your little one yet? I find that highly reassuring, so if it hasn't yet happened for you, I hope it does soon...

    I find myself utterly heartbroken for Eloise and Tinky--I'm just so sorry...

    I feel very lucky to have crossed the viability threshold, and right now I'm kind of at the crossroads between that emphasis on caution (don't count your eggs and all that) and the realisation that said caution has compressed my planning/learning time. There's a lot to buy, a lot to read, a lot to research and lots of decisions to be made. I haven't even signed up for a birthing course yet, and I understand that many good ones are probably full up by now... Everyone has to find their balance, I suppose, and mine seems to be quite cautious and therefore quite delayed... Then again, I've always worked best under pressure, so I imagine we'll be fine!

    Offline Eloise242

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    « Reply #262 on: 19/03/19, 02:04 »
    Hi ladies

    Thankyou so much for your replies. I have what is pre-term labour and at this point just over 17 weeks the fetus woudn’t survive outside my womb.  Still in hospital as have chosen to watch and wait and let nature take it’s cause. Like you Tinky I am angry with waves of sadness.

    In a room not too far from the delivery suite so I can hear ladies going into labour at  full term; what could have been.

    Not really sure why my cervix decided too open? The hospital are checking to see if I had a vaginal infection. Unfortunatly the fact that my cervix was opening wasn’t picked up until it was too late. If there was any cervix left they could have put a stich in.

    All the best to you lovely ladies


    Offline Sunshine122

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    « Reply #263 on: 19/03/19, 11:02 »
    Eloise and Tinky, Iím so so sorry for you both, this is just too heatbreaking.

    Secondseven, how was your scan? I havenít thought too much about labour just yet but I have read that often with IVF pregnancies they donít like to let you go overdue, something to do with the placenta not working so well if left too late I think. I have been thinking about asking if I can have a caesarean, just to get the baby out the quickest way possible, but I will most likely be talked out of it. Hoping I get that far of course.

    S1974, I have my 20 week scan on the same day as yours.

    LXP, enjoy Dubai, the beaches and sea there are so lovely aren't they. 

    Klik, congrats on reaching viability. Iím the same as you in my approach of trying not to think too far ahead as I am still so scared that its all going to go wrong. I would be more than happy to wait until the birth to tell people about the baby, and plan to make a list of everything I want to buy but not actually order any of it until the last minute.

    Afm, I have my consultant appointment on Thursday. Iím still having bleeding on a daily basis but it is dark brown now. I think I may have started to feel the baby, like heavy thuds down low in my uterus that I can feel when I put my hand over it. I hope it is that although I know its early as Iím only 17 weeks, but I am slight. Saying that, the awfully sad news like that above are a reminder that something awful can still happen, I am already so paranoid about infections/cervix as I previously tested positive for ureaplasma (although took anti bís at the time but I didnít re-test) and also that my mum had an incompetent cervix. Am going to ask my consultant about this, even if I have to pay privately to have my cervix length monitored.

    Offline Tinky27

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    « Reply #264 on: 20/03/19, 09:29 »
    Eloise I'm so sorry, please keep me posted.

    We decided to wait for the MRI which is on Friday (I will be nearly 21 weeks then) so we're hoping to get to the bottom of what's causing the fluid on babies brain and a more definitive outcome. I know the result is going to be severe but I needed to be absolutely sure before interrupting this pregnancy, especially as we will have to live with the decision for the rest of our lives. We are absolutely heart broken and yesterday was extremely hard as we had the nursery carpet fitted. The last 2.5 weeks of not knowing have been torture and now Friday is looming near I'm terrified to hear the news and have to face what lies ahead. I've become so attached to this little human growing inside me who kicks and squirms everyday, I cannot bare the thought of handing my baby over to a stranger and leaving the hospital. How is anyone supposed to cope with that mentally? My body will be producing all the natural hormones and I won't have a baby.
    I'm so angry and bitter, I can't even look at another pregnant women.
    Eloise I really hope nature is kind to you xxx

    Offline Shelbo76

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    « Reply #265 on: 22/03/19, 17:21 »
    Eloise and Tinky I'm so incredibly sorry for you both, these past few weeks/days must have been so hard. I hope you both have lots of good support around you.

    Tinky - my sister had to have a tfmr 3 years ago as baby was found to have a severe spinal development issue and not likely to survive, she originally wanted to continue to full term as she couldn't bear the thought of letting them go but in the end it got too much for her and she was induced at 19 weeks. Her hospital looked after her very well during and afterwards and still support her now. She was very lucky to conceive again a few months later but suffered terribly with pre-natal depression but yet again given great support by hospital and was assigned a specialist bereavement midwife to help her all the way through. I truly hope you both get the same kind of support from both of your respective hospitals.

    Big virtual hugs xx

    Sent from my SM-G965F using Tapatalk


    Offline secondseven

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    « Reply #266 on: 24/03/19, 14:59 »
    @Eloise and @Tinky Just wanted you both to know you've been in my thoughts over the last few days and hoping you're finding a way through somehow.

    @klik Oh no - I didn't mean to worry you at all! I think the thing with an emergency cesarean is that they often come after a good few hours/day or so of labour, so you're more tired than if you go in fresh. Also as they're not scheduled, there might be a wait for theatre staff depending on how busy they are at the time. You're right though, the baby might well have other plans despite my careful planning one way or another! The 39 weeks bit is because of my age - my hospital don't let 'older' mothers go over 40 weeks as the placenta doesn't tend to work so well if you're overdue apparently. I think the 39 weeks bit for elective cesareans is so that the baby is more likely to come that way rather than on it's own! I bet different hospitals have different policies though. And we are all different too of course. Congratulations on reaching your viability date - that's amazing news. I'm with you on not getting things that ready yet - I'l end up leaving more than I should to the last minute probably because I won't want to jinx anything.

    @Sunshine You are totally allowed to ask for an EC if you want one assuming you're with the NHS - that is their policy. No-one has tried to talk me out of anything yet, but they have highlighted various risks.

    @LXP glad you're having a great holiday and have also reached your viability date - brilliant news :)

    Afm - my cheeky little scan went really well last week and I got to catch a glimpse of the baby's gorgeous little face which was pretty magical indeed. I have the ultrasound pic next to my bedside and I have gazed at it so much since. Got my NHS 20 week scan on Thursday this week coming and am a little nervous about it, but keeping everything crossed all looks okay. Good luck to everyone else with your upcoming scans too.

    Offline klik

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    « Reply #267 on: 26/03/19, 05:20 »
    Eloise, I asked my scanning doctor about checking the cervix and he said that for the general population, it's been found that an internal scan to check the cervix doesn't improve outcomes. It's only for certain people that it's recommended--of course, from now on, for subsequent pregnancies, you will be one of those people... I am so sorry--I cannot imagine what it must be like to have every reason to believe you have a healthy baby developing inside you but there's no way to keep it in... If you've lost it by now, I hope it was as painless as possible, and I urge you to be incredibly kind to yourself. It's just too painful... I'm so sorry...

    Tinky, how did the MRI go? I'm so sorry you're having to go through this... I guess one thing that might help me through it a bit would be, if the MRI confirms this, to know that if this baby were, in fact, to be born, it would have a life of suffering, and that it just wouldn't be the right thing to do to allow this... I'm not sure that kind of thinking works for you though, so if not, I apologise... I guess I'd also try to derive comfort from the simple existence of your daughter--life did manage to be kind to you at least that once... But really, I'm not sure how anyone is supposed to cope with any of this mentally--perhaps some therapy or counselling would be in order... It doesn't solve anything, but I find that it helps to have a place where these feelings can at least be expressed and processed. This is mourning--it's losing a loved one, and that is incredibly painful... I am so sorry...

    Sunshine, how did the meeting with the consultant go? I hope your bleeding has been diminishing over time... I can understand why you'd want your cervix monitored--what did the consultant say? Really hoping things are getting progressively better for you, and that your anxiety is diminishing and you're starting to enjoy the thuds (yes, the thuds are what you think they are! Sometimes those thuds are so heavy, I wonder if my little one is trying to break out of me through the cervix, but I've been assured that this is perfectly normal.)

    Shelbo, wow, I hope your sister is ok now... I'm glad she managed to let go of that previous pregnancy early--I think it would be too much to ask any parent to watch a baby have a short life full of suffering... I'm very glad she was assigned a bereavement midwife, and I hope she and her baby are both fine... Also hoping you're feeling well and enjoying the movement in your belly these days...

    secondseven, thanks--you didn't worry me too much, I was just wondering what I was missing! Your experience led me to ask my doc about when to induce (I'm 44), and he said with him, it's either induce at 40 weeks or monitor very, very closely for placental insufficiency if the mother refuses to be induced. But yeah, that makes sense--if you want an elective C-section, 39 weeks makes more sense than 40! I'm with you on the last-minute don't-jinx-it attitude but I have a feeling I'll be running around like a madwoman at some point, trying to collect everything baby needs! Well, hopefully I'll be at that point, soon... So glad your scan went well and that you saw baby's face!!! That is incredibly sweet... Best of luck for your NHS scan--so far, so good, and I hope it continues to be that way!

    I had my 24-week scan last week and I met with the ob as well... Baby is measuring a little bit bigger than average on every measure, and the doc said that's not very typical: usually it's like, the head is a bit big but the femur length is a bit small, etc.--a mix. But good growth is good, so the doc is happy with that. What worried me was, the scan also measured blood flow into the uterus and then from the baby back to me, and all those numbers were very very low, almost at the lowest end of the normal spectrum. It freaked me out--I've always had good circulation so I couldn't get my head around it... Finally, I looked it up and those measures are actually of *resistance* to blood flow, so the lower the number, the better. The doc confirmed this, to my great relief... My blood pressure is also nice and low, so--so far, so good...

    Offline Tinky27

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    « Reply #268 on: 27/03/19, 08:55 »
    Klik we had the MRI scan on Friday but weren't told until we arrived that we wouldn't get the result till Tuesday. They then cancelled my appointment for yesterday as no neurologist available until Thursday, the last 4 weeks have been pure hell. I've been told it the prognosis is still poor tomorrow that I will be able to take the first tablet straight after my appointment, my anxiety is now off the scale, I'm still praying for a miracle.

    Offline Eloise242

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    « Reply #269 on: 27/03/19, 13:17 »
    Hi Everyone

    Just a quick update, I had a baby boy last Friday who for the reasons mentioned earlier in this thread could not remain in this world. Technolgy just will not permit it until approx week 24. We were approx 18 weeks.

    Tinky I completey understand holding onto hope, who would’t?

    I hope one day to return to these boards, however I am leaving this one under achingly horrible circumstances

    All the best lovely ladies