* Author Topic: Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow  (Read 17638 times)

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Offline missl73

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Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
« Reply #100 on: 23/08/19, 15:59 »
CD9: Feeling totally down in the dumps  :( went in for my scan today and NOTHING. My body hasn't responded to the letrozole, ovaries are totally quiet no follicles growing and lining is only 2.3mm - basically the nurse said it looks like what it usually would on CD2 or 3. I have to go back in on Tuesday and if STILL nothing has happened (which is exactly what I'm expecting), then I think they will put me on low dose stims to make something happen. On the one had FET is so much less stressful because you know the embryos are already made, but on the other, I just don't seem to be able to make it to a transfer which is starting to really wear me down. I'm also not paying for any more acupuncture that's for a sure - as far as I'm concerned it's just throwing money down the drain. I'm going to try and enjoy the sunny bank holiday weekend, I need to try and take my mind off things. I'm really struggilng.

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    Offline missl73

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    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #101 on: 24/08/19, 16:35 »
    In a terrible place emotionally at the moment and very tearful. I'm not coping well with all the bad news we've had recently and I'm currently feeling like there is no hope. I can't sleep despite being so tired, I know it's because I'm feeling anxious. Yet another friend (who I didn't even know was pregnant) just posted that she's had a little boy. Literally, every one of my friends either has children already or is pregnant, I feel like I need to mute the accounts of every female I know who is of child-bearing age to avoid the shock announcements and baby spam. Every one just feels like a punch in the stomach. I'm supposed to be going to a baby shower next week and I don't feel strong enough to do it right now and then I just feel guilty for feeling that way. I'm going to wait until Tuesday's conversation with the clinic to make a decision but I just don't know that I want to put myself through it. I know that if this cycle fails too or is cancelled I should probably give my body a break, allow my natural hormones to start back over and refuse to ever take downregging drugs again because they stop my ovaries from responding to anything. It makes me so sad to feel that we might not even get another attempt in this year. I think with my friends and family I do too good a job of plastering on a smile and brave face and so they don't realise how much support I need - or perhaps they do but they just don't know how to help because none of them have ever had to go through this pain. Right now I just don't know how to keep picking myself back up off the floor and trying again  :'(

    Offline missl73

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    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #102 on: 27/08/19, 10:09 »
    CD13 scan day. Things have improved very slightly, I have a few small follicles on my right ovary and my left one has now woken up too and I have 3 on that one all around 7mm. Lining is still very thin. Iím way behind where theyíd want me to be this far into a cycle (I think Iím just responding very slowly) so I spoke to the scan doctor and we decided to try me on low dose stims to see if that helps. Starting 75iu of Gonal F from tonight with another scan booked for Saturday. I really hope this gives me the boost that I need and helps me produce estrogen to get that lining moving. I like the doctor I saw today so much better, I feel like she actually listens to me. We are still going to use prontogest to make sure my progesterone levels are ok and test the day before transfer so not leaving any stone unturned.

    Offline missl73

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    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #103 on: 28/08/19, 08:07 »
    CD14: Well isnít Gonal F the dream! Feeling somewhat of a connoisseur of IVF injections, this one is by far the easiest - no mixing or faffing a about just twist the pen to fix the dose and jab it in! Much less stingy than Menopur too. Hopefully I respond to it ok, I think itís synthetic whereas Menopur is naturally derived so I hope my decision to switch to save money is a good one. After all this is about lining not growing lots of eggs. We are supposed to go to a baby shower after our scan on Saturday and I had to tell the couple whatís been going on last night to explain why I might not feel up to it. They were going really kind and understanding which has made me feel so much better.

    Offline missl73

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    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #104 on: 31/08/19, 14:45 »
    CD17: So as it turns out I respond well to Gonal F, actually looks like a better response than I get to Menopur which is interesting if we have to do a fresh cycle again. We only needed the one dominant follicle but I have 7 on the right ovary and 6 on the left. Main follicle is 13mm. Lining is about 4.8mm which I was concerned is too thin but the nurse said is fine based on the size of my follicle so letís hope it continues to thicken. Two more doses then back on Monday for another scan.

    Offline missl73

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    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #105 on: 2/09/19, 10:41 »
    CD19: lining has grown to 6.3mm so looking promising to make it over that elusive 7. Biggest follicle is 15mm so if my lining continues to grow at the same rate then we look on track to trigger Wednesday (CD21) with transfer the following Wednesday. Iím feeling hopeful Iím going to make it to transfer this time 🤞🏼

    Bit of a drama this evening, all afternoon I had lots of EWCM which for me is usually a very reliable sign Iím going to ovulate soon. Cue panicked call to the clinic to check what I should do who said I get a positive LH surge tonight on an OPK weíll have to abandon. If I donít then I should take cetrotide to make sure I donít. I dash home to take a test so DH can go to the pharmacy to get the cetrotide after work if we need it. Phew test was negative so took the injection tonight. The on call doctor said I should be being monitored more closely so Iím now back in again tomorrow and theyíll also do bloods to check LH, progesterone and estrogen levels. Classic by my clinic I would have been furious if weíd had to abandon when yet again making sure I donít ovulate too early is a controllable factor! Based on my current rate of growth I should be very close to 7mm by tomorrow.

    Offline missl73

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    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #106 on: 3/09/19, 09:33 »
    CD20: Ok so cetrotide did it's job no ovulation. Lining is going strong 6.9mm this morning so confident it will be over 7mm for trigger tomorrow. They took bloods this morning so just waiting on the results of those but feeling pretty comfortable now that I will be making it to a transfer this cycle. Woo hoo!!

    Offline missl73

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    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #107 on: 4/09/19, 10:22 »
    CD21: All systems go. Lining has grown very consistently (0.6mm a day) and is now 7.5mm and should still thicken further after trigger! Start progesterone in 3 days time. I am so relieved! Transfer is booked for one week today.

    Offline missl73

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    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #108 on: 10/09/19, 07:33 »
    CD27: Transfer today tomorrow. I started prontogest and cyclogest again on CD24 - that stuff is awful Iím already bruised. Iíve had a dodgy tummy for the last couple of days so I havenít felt that well. I really donít hold out much hope for this cycle which is sad, with previous transfers Iíve felt excited but not this time. I feel like Iím just going through the motions again.

    Offline missl73

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    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #109 on: 11/09/19, 15:05 »
    Transfer Day. Felt way more emotional than I expected given how numb Iíve felt the past few days. Blastocyst thawed perfectly, itís hatching even more than the last one was. It took two attempts to get it to leave the catheter but the embryologist said that itís good luck because that means itís nice and sticky. They said my lining looks perfect, my progesterone levels from yesterdayís test was 160 nmol/L so a wee bit better than last timeís 19!! Iíve been trying so hard not to get my hopes up but I do really hope that this is the one. I asked today and they said at 31 they would expect 70-80% of my embryos to be genetically normal so to have 2/4 so far not be (although Iím sceptical that was the issue with the second) already seems very unlucky so statistically we are due a good one! Now to stay sane for the 2ww.