* Author Topic: Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow  (Read 17632 times)

0 Members

Offline missl73

  • Gold Member
  • *****
modify
Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
« Reply #110 on: 13/09/19, 11:47 »
2dp5dt - I think this might be one of my hardest 2ww yet. I'm fine when I'm at work and I'm busy. As soon as I'm on my own I can't stop thinking about it. I need to stay distracted. I'm quite crampy this morning and I don't remember having cramps this early last time. I know I shouldn't symptom spot because it's quite likely it's just my guts not liking all the extra progesterone. I find it crazy to know that if it's going to implant it almost certainly will have done it by the end of today. Please, please let this one be the one  ^pray^

FertilityFriends

  • Advertisement
  • ***

    Offline missl73

    • Gold Member
    • *****
    modify
    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #111 on: 14/09/19, 08:10 »
    3dp5dt the days are ticking by very slowly. I had cramps most of the afternoon and evening and again this morning. Not particularly strong but enough to be noticeable. I keep telling myself itís probably just the meds. Statistically to have our 3rd very high graded hatching blastocyst not be the one is low, Iíve been told our chances are just over 50% each time we get to transfer so the probability of getting a bad result three times in a row is only 12.5%. I feel ridiculous clinging on to anything, I wish that it wasnít all just so unpredictable. DH leaves for the US for work tomorrow so I have to do the rest of the 2ww and test day on my own.

    Offline missl73

    • Gold Member
    • *****
    modify
    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #112 on: 16/09/19, 08:00 »
    5dp5dt Iím over half way now. This feels quite different to my last two 2wws both mentally and physically. Yesterday the cramping had eased off but I was I just felt a fullness/heaviness low down and I felt so bloated I was too uncomfortable to do up my jeans and all Iíd eaten for lunch was soup! I was taking progesterone for a week before transfer and didnít feel that so I donít know if itís that my levels are rising still further. My boobs are also a bit sore.

    Itís funny I think my first ever 2ww was actually the easiest by far as I had really low expectations and less pressure, I was certain I wouldnít be so lucky as to get a BFP on my 1st try (although I did!). I can do this only 4 more sleeps.

    Offline missl73

    • Gold Member
    • *****
    modify
    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #113 on: 17/09/19, 09:17 »
    6dp5dt Starting to feel terrified of testing. So much so that instead of feeling tempted as I get closer to the end of the 2ww I really don't want to do it because I don't want to see another BFN. I just don't have a strong feeling either way this time as to whether it's worked or not. I definitely feel different to my last cycle but that doesn't necessarily mean anything.

    Offline missl73

    • Gold Member
    • *****
    modify
    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #114 on: 18/09/19, 07:53 »
    7dp5dt ridiculously bloated. I havenít yet eaten anything today and my stomach looks normal from the outside yet I feel so uncomfortable. I donít remember it being this bad in my last 2ww as I was in Sardinia on holiday and I would not have enjoyed being in a bikini feeling like this. Not that it means anything of course. Had my first dream I was pregnant last night. Only two more sleeps and Iíll know for sure, honestly I feel like it could go either way at this point.

    Offline missl73

    • Gold Member
    • *****
    modify
    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #115 on: 19/09/19, 07:58 »
    8dp5dt only one more day to go until the bubble bursts and I either have a great day or a terrible one. I donít feel much any more, still bloated and my boobs are a bit sore to the touch but thatís it. I know Iím tough and I can handle it if itís not meant to be this time but it would just be so nice to not have to go through this again for a while.

    Offline missl73

    • Gold Member
    • *****
    modify
    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #116 on: 20/09/19, 06:23 »
    OTD. Almost exactly a year after the first time in my life I ever saw two lines on a stick here I am again looking at a brand new BFP. And again, the test line is darker than the control. No betas for me this time, last time they were super high and I still miscarried so this time Iím just going to let nature take its course, focus on being happy and enjoying this time. If itís meant to be itís meant to be. Please little bean can you stick around for us.

    In case it helps anybody else a summary of my 2ww symptoms were:
    Days 2 - 3 quite a bit of cramping, light but noticeable.
    Bloating to the point where after a couple of mouthfuls of food or a full glass of water/cup of tea I'd feel too full to have any more and I couldn't bare to have anything tight on my stomach.
    That's it.

    Offline missl73

    • Gold Member
    • *****
    modify
    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #117 on: 21/09/19, 08:25 »
    4+1 quite crampy again this morning. Took another test, then slightly freaked out because despite another very dark line it wasnít ďquiteĒ as dark as yesterdayís, although Iím sure thatís just down to hydration. Unless youíre looking very closely they basically look the same. Iíve ordered some clear blue with week indicators, so Iím going to take one tomorrow and then Iíll do the second at 6 weeks just before we go on holiday to check HCG is still rising.

    Absolutely determined to have a positive mental attitude this time because if nothing else I know that there is absolutely nothing I can do to make this pregnancy stick or not so Iím not going to waste time worrying about what I canít control.

    Offline missl73

    • Gold Member
    • *****
    modify
    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #118 on: 22/09/19, 08:05 »
    4+2 not doing the best job at staying calm. I wish I hadnít done another test yesterday. Iím so worried Iím having a chemical and I know itís not rational because with both my tests the lines were so dark and the test line appeared before the liquid had even made it fully across the test window so before the control. Surely that means my HCG must be high but Iím obsessing over the fact I think yesterdayís wasnít quite as dark. When Iím rational about it I know that there is absolutely nothing I can do to affect the outcome so I just have to relax and wait and see what happens but itís hard as you just want that reassurance. This is exactly why I decided not to have blood betas this time and yet Iím just replacing that with POAS and trying to see line progression. I must stop. Nature is going to do its thing and my job is to make my body a happy healthy place for this embryo to be.

    Offline missl73

    • Gold Member
    • *****
    modify
    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #119 on: 23/09/19, 19:21 »
    4+3 (12dp5dt): After temporarily turning into an insane person yesterday I have regained my rational brain. Having convinced myself my lines weren't progressing, in my infinite wisdom I decided to do one of the Clear Blue Digital with week's indicator (mistake 1), and do it at midday on my 4th wee of the day after drinking tea, juice, water and goodness knows what else so I was ultra-hydrated (mistake 2). When it came back at 1 - 2 weeks I went into a total tailspin convinced it should be showing 2-3 (like it did for me at the same stage with my last BFP) and this must be a sign that my levels were dropping. I sent myself totally crazy, cried on my husband that I thought we were going to lose this one already, basically was not my best self.

    Anyway, I decided to go and get a blood test so I could stop being so utterly ridiculous and it came back this afternoon at a healthy 349. According to this https://expectingscience.com/2018/05/17/an-early-beta-hcg-test-is-a-good-predictor-of-your-chances-of-a-first-trimester-miscarriage/ at 12dp5dt anything over 135-147 IU/L 94% pregnancies were ongoing. I also then (in my usual style) read a bunch of other research papers and my level is over the threshold in all of them. So now I just need to calm down and let nature do its thing. I haven't decided yet whether to get another one in 48 hours or just let it be now. I know that having another test isn't going to change the outcome and really I just have to trust that things are progressing. I probably shouldn't indulge my paranoia again.