* Author Topic: Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow  (Read 17408 times)

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Offline missl73

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Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
« Reply #150 on: 13/01/20, 13:04 »
20 week scan went smoothly, we have a happy healthy looking little bubba! Iíve been feeling so much movement the past two weeks and really regular kicks now every day so I wasnít my usual nervous wreck heading in. We decided we didnít want to find out the sex, but when she was checking the legs we both thought we saw a little willy so Iím now 80% sure itís a boy and DH who was convinced we were having a girl before said we had better spend more time on our boys name list 😂

My placenta is low so I have to have an extra scan at 34 weeks to check all is ok, if it hasnít moved up enough then I will have to have a c-section. Not ideal news but if thatís the worst news there is Iíll take it as the only thing I really care about is that my little baby is healthy.

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    Offline missl73

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    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #151 on: 20/01/20, 10:01 »
    22+2 and feeling amazing I'm back in the gym regularly and able to eat normal healthy food not just carbs which is a nice change! Saw the obstetrician last week and she discharged me from consultant-led care, said there was no reason why I need to see her and my pregnancy should be classed as low risk which means I can have a choice over whether to give birth in the birthing centre or labour ward which is great. It seems to me that they don't really take any consideration as to why you had fertility treatment and just lump all IVF patients into the high risk group regardless because it usually goes with other co-risk factors such as advanced maternal age and multiples but in my case I'm 32 and only had IVF because my DH had fertility issues relating to a childhood operation. It's a little frustrating because it's not a good use of NHS resources to send me to see the OB when I really didn't need to my pregnancy is perfectly normal now it was only our conception that wasn't. Anyway, I got to hear the heartbeat again which I always love.

    Finally starting to actually prepare (and feel terrified) that I'm going to be a mum - notice I can now say when and not if!!! Have booked in for a 2-hour nursery appointment at John Lewis so I can stop feeling overwhelmed by all the choices. I have done so much pram research online I need to just go and spend a good chunk of time looking in person and figuring it out. I've made a list of things I need and think I am going to start slowly buying bits and pieces - I do still feel a bit scared about taking that leap!

    Offline missl73

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    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #152 on: 20/02/20, 21:12 »
    26+5 itís been a long time since I updated my diary. I love being pregnant now, I feel fantastic and people keep telling me I have a glow. I feel lucky to feel so well, Iím able to keep exercising plenty, sleeping fine and have lots of energy. Weirdly Iím also doing much better at work even though I only have a few weeks left Iím more switched on and motivated than I have been in ages. My excitement for this week the arrival of my first lot of cloth nappies! I always knew for eco reasons I wanted to go for reusables and despite many of my friends thinking Iím crazy, none of them have even tried it and I wonít know any different so Iím not letting them deter me. Anyway, after lots of research Iíve bought a few to try and they are so cute!!

    Offline missl73

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    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #153 on: 5/03/20, 10:40 »
    28+4 Iím in the 3rd trimester!! Had my 28 week midwife appointment and all went well, generally everything is good my blood results are all normal including my GTT. However, my fundal measurement was a bit high (slightly off the chart) which they said they arenít worried about they just want to check that baby continues to grow on the same trajectory and doesnít suddenly spike and that I donít have gestational diabetes which weíve ruled out with the bloods. From what Iíve read fundal height isnít the most accurate measurement of baby size - itís easy to get wrong and Iím only 1cm over what theyíd expect me to be so Iím not massively concerned. It wouldnít surprise me if we have quite a big baby as a) research shows often FET conceived babies can be larger than normal (Iíve measured a bit ahead throughout this pregnancy), and b) my husband is in the 95th percentile for height as an adult and Iím in the 75th so weíre both on the tall side. I looked at all the measurements from my 20 week scan and baby was on the 50th Ė 60th percentile for pretty much everything so again on the bigger side but certainly not massive so maybe he or she is just having a growth spurt. They are certainly so active lately it feels like Iím carrying an octopus not a human!
    In other news I FINALLY bought some of the big ticket items! Pram, car seat and baby carrier are all arriving tomorrow.

    Offline missl73

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    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #154 on: 13/04/20, 08:01 »
    34+1 Only 6 weeks to go until our little corona baby is due to arrive. I went to the hospital yesterday because babyís movement seemed to have slowed down and reduced a lot - typically as soon as they put me on a monitor baby started moving so much they couldnít work out where to put the HB monitor and then moved heaps. Was very reassuring and Iím still glad I went in because always better to be sure than left worrying. Did give us a nudge to get hospital bags more sorted, will wait until my scan at 34+4 to finish as thatís when Iíll learn in placenta is moving and whether it will be a c-section or not. Am going to start watching some hypnobirthing videos to prepare myself for the fact there will be time in the hospital where Iím alone as DH canít be there until active labour which is 4cm dilated so itís unlikely Iíll still be at home until then! Trying to stay calm and not worry about things I canít control.

    Offline missl73

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    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #155 on: 12/05/20, 08:40 »
    38+2 and itís my 33rd birthday. We were wondering if we might get a birthday baby but I think he/she is too comfy in there to make an appearance today. Saw the midwife yesterday and everything looks good and healthy so now we just wait. In all honesty I still feel pretty well, I canít walk as far as Iíd like as the bump feels very heavy in my pelvis and my back starts to ache but otherwise I really canít complain. Overall, besides the first trimester (well 18 weeks) Iíve felt amazing being pregnant so I feel very lucky. Now torn between excitement to meet this little one and total fear! Itís looking tentatively like we will be able to mix with one other household by June which would mean we can take baby to meet my parents and that would make me so happy!

    IVF feels like a distant memory at the moment, we got a bill through for storage of our remaining frosties yesterday which reminds us we will be doing that all again next year but it definitely feels so much less scary having been able to get to this point. We wonít be hanging around long to wait to try for a sibling as I want to go through any future cycles before Iím 35 but for now letís just focus on this little rainbow miracle!

    Offline missl73

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    Fresh cycle #2.5, hoping for our rainbow
    « Reply #156 on: 25/05/20, 19:56 »
    5 days old. I canít believe it heís finally here, our beautiful perfect little boy Harry, and we are so in love.

    *** warning for anyone reading Iím going to write down my traumatic labour story as part of my processing what happened ***

    Itís taken me a few days to process and accept what happened and to bond with my little angel. Having had a pretty stress-free pregnancy where baby was healthy throughout and I felt so well I was optimistic for a fairly straightforward birth. Sadly that wasnít to be. It looks like my low-lying placenta may not have moved up so much after all and so at 39+2 I woke up at 5am to quite a lot of fresh red blood and passing a huge clot about the size of a lemon. I rang the emergency triage who told me to ring an ambulance. Thanks to coronavirus I had to go alone to the hospital but it wasnít a blue light situation and the crew kept me calm. On arrival they put me on a monitor and baby was fine but I was told they would probably recommend induction. They also did a quick scan to make sure baby was still head down. I was told I would be admitted for 24 hours for monitoring and moved to the antenatal ward around 10am by which time I was starving. I wasnít offered any food and despite asking none came so when DH brought in my hospital bags I got him to pack some extra snacks - that was all I got to eat all day. Seeing DH made me sob, I just wished he could have been with me throughout and I didnít want him to leave. I had no choice though so I went back to the ward to find out what was going to happen next. Initially the midwife made me feel like induction was just a personal choice I had to make and couldnít answer any questions - she just said you need to decide if you want it or not. I insisted I wanted to see a consultant if I had to make the decision because she wasnít giving me the information I needed to make that kind of choice so later in the afternoon about 4pm one came. He was infinitely better and explained the risks and pros and cons - essentially they thought it was my placenta causing the bleeding and the risk was it was disintegrating and/or placental abruption which if I was at home could be life threatening to me and baby. With that information it was an easy decision of course Iíd say yes to the induction. By this point I still hadnít had a meal so I asked the midwife if the hospital did in fact provide them or whether my husband should bring me dinner and unbelievably she said he should. At 6pm I had the first lot of gel with a view to a second dose at 1am if nothing had happened. DH came to drop off a meal for me around 8pm and I cried some more saying goodbye scared about starting labour alone. About 11pm I started to have contractions that I managed bouncing on the ball and using hypnobirthing breathing. They started to get more intense and the midwife suggested I take a shower to help, I went in and found more fresh red blood. The midwife checked me and gave me a sweep but I was still only 1cm dilated despite strong regular contractions. They decided due to the further bleeding I should be transferred to labour ward and that meant DH could come in which he did around 4am. At 5am they came into break my waters, I was only 2cm and it was unbelievably painful. After that my constructions started to get really bad and really frequent - no breathing was going to help that I was in so much pain and I knew it would only get worse when they started the drip. Thatís when I asked for the epidural (about 8am after 10 hours or so of contractions) - I was still only 2cm. The epidural was a painless procedure and it was amazing - if only I had done it sooner my pain was all gone and I was even able to grab a little bit of sleep. At some point the babyís heart rate dropped dangerously low the room filled with doctors checking everything and prepping me to go the theatre while I sobbed. Thankfully baby recovered and we continued. However, the epidural was causing problems - I was starting to get localised contraction pains in just the left of my back very badly. They couldnít work out why it wasnít working. They decided to bring the consultants back who did a scan to check baby. This is when we found out he was back to back (hence the terrible contractions) and the cord was over his face. They recommended that I have an emergency section because turning baby around to deliver could risk his life with the cord over his face. Again, easy decision yes ok section if itís safest for baby. 6pm (now 36 hours after going in to hospital) I was taken into theatre and given a spinal. This is when they found the tube for the epidural had a kink which is why it had stopped working. The feeling of the section itself was very strange but painless just a lot of pressure and pulling. When he came out though he wasnít crying and was very dark purple he was rushed straight away by the paediatricians while I sobbed asking why he wasnít crying. I asked DH what was going on and he said it was fine but the terror was written all over his face. After what felt like forever the anaesthetist said to me ďhear that thatís him cryingĒ - this is how I found out he was a boy. Apparently the cord had caused them problems and heíd become quite stuck coming out. Thank god he was ok. In the meantime the surgeons were working on me - I was losing a lot of blood, over a litre so now itís my life they were trying to save. I felt so ill, I threw up (hard to do on your back paralysed from the waist down), I kept saying I thought I was going to faint and pass out. DH was trying to talk to me but I could barely manage to speak, he kept saying how amazing he was and how beautiful. I didnít get the rush of love and endorphins everybody talks about I just felt numb because I felt so unwell. Finally I started to feel a little better as they stitched me up and they put him on my chest. Immediately he started routing for my breast which was so amazing and I knew he was going to be ok.

    We went into recovery and the paediatrician came to check him over and he passed every test. I asked if I could feed him and he latched on brilliantly first time. I felt for about 20 minutes skin to skin before he did some skin to skin with DH too. I was still paralysed from the spinal so the midwife got him dressed for us and we had cuddles for about an hour before DH was told he had to leave and Iíd be taken to the postnatal ward this was about 10.30pm. I was put in a cubicle and left alone I called the bell for the midwife and asked for some food as I hadnít eaten since the epidural at 6 that morning - they said the kitchen was closed and found me an apple. I cried saying I was still unable to move my legs and that I needed them to help me and Harry. That night I got the sensation back in my legs and Harry was an absolute dream. He fed well, he latched well and he didnít make a fuss at all. Babies all around us were crying and he was so calm and sleepy. He just whimpered to feed but otherwise was just an angel filling his nappies like he should and I was producing so much colostrum he was well looked after. The next morning I had my catheter taken out and we had a bunch of tests to pass before weíd be allowed home all of which went very smoothly. The last one was taking off the pressure dressing which couldnít be done until 24 hours post-op. When this went well, I was told I was being discharged and DH could come and get us this was 8pm. A very dramatic 63 hours from when I had gone in. Seeing him again was the best moment and being able to take our little man home the biggest relief.

    After the trauma of the delivery and realising both Harryís and my life had been seriously at risk I needed to place some distance between what happened before I could talk about it because I needed to focus on bonding with Harry and accepting that everything did turn out ok.

    Life since has been wonderful but thatís for another entry!