* Author Topic: Low AMH/High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 8  (Read 16352 times)

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Offline Babyhopeful

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Low AMH/High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 8
« Reply #30 on: 28/02/20, 11:37 »
Sunshine122 - Itís lovely to hear from you. I hope youíre enjoying life as a new Mum? I had flu over Christmas and had only just started feeling better when I started having my treatment in January, so this may have been a factor in my rubbish round. DH was convinced we wouldnít be going ahead as I had been so ill. We were pleasantly surprised when we saw 5 afc, but even then DH thought I should give myself another month to recover, but I pushed ahead. Thankfully he didnít say ĎI told you soí when it all went wrong as he could see how miserable I was about it all. If we donít get any fresh embryos next time, Iím going to give my body a month or two to recover from the drugs then start transferring xx

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    Offline Mac78

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    Low AMH/High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 8
    « Reply #31 on: 29/02/20, 09:03 »
    Hi all,

    Thank you Sunshine & Babyhopeful for the support.

    Unfornutaley, I am still very confused and considering cancelling the Transfer this month as DH and I are not in good synchronization right now. I don't know if  I am expecting too much from him, but organizing the time for both of us to be in Alicante has been much more stressful than I anticipated. I wish he would say less of "when do you want to there" and instead  "I want to make sure I am there". He was happy to go first to provide the sperm and I will stay alone to for the TF, which I am sure I will be fine and I won't need anyone to baby seat me, but is the whole emotional process and the wanting to be together to somehow feel a bit more like a "normal conceiving". When I tried to explain this to him this morning and said how much I wish he would be more into the details of the treatment, instead of me telling him all the time what we need to do and when his answer was, you have no idea how much stress I am under with work and trying to this at the same time. It is the same for me as I also have a job, plus dealing with taking medication all the emotions of going through this treatment. His answer was but is not like you have the responsibility to provide, because he earns much more than I do and all the money we are saving to buy a house comes from his salary. But is not like I don't help at all, I don't earn as much as him but all I earn is dedicated to us and our plans, such as paying for half of the treatment which isn't not easy.
    I am not sure if this is the right way to bring a child into the world with all this feeling bottled up.
    Does anyone know what is the success rate for a frozen egg? I am seriously considering asking Alicante to freeze the eggs collected from my donor and wait another month or 2, at least until we can talk things through.
    I really don't know have anyone else to ask so any advice you be hugely appreciated.

    Lots of love to you all.
    x

    Offline Saltysea

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    Low AMH/High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 8
    « Reply #32 on: 29/02/20, 11:53 »
    Hey Mac, I'm sorry you are going through a rough patch...since you asked, I hope it's okay and maybe even helps to hear my opinion.
    This is all an incredibly stressful challenging situation for all of us and our boys too. Men are wired a bit differently and to be honest in my opinion it sounds like your guy is really trying to do the best he can. I would suspect he is bottling quite a bit up too and it makes him so unhappy to see you have to go through this and not be able to protect you. They definitely take this all personally as well, no matter where the medical issue is. I think every guy deep down feels he should have super swimmers that save the day. Yes, the appointments, the jobs, the travel it is all so so challenging, it is, for both of you. I think boys revert back to the basics, the bare plans, the obeying of the doctor's orders without question and switching off otherwise. They really don't seem to have the need to research themselves, communicate with others going through a similar situation or talk much about it with us.
    I think your guy sounds like a definite keeper, he is committed to you and to the cause and when you talked to him in the morning he actually had the maturity to give you quite a good explanation of where his head is at. So many morons out there would twist things, attack you instead or simply shut down. I think this is going to be one lucky and loved child by both mature parents that clearly wanted it so badly. This IS the right way to bring a child into the world. You obviously are also amazing Mac, you have been through so much and are just trying to do your best to navigate this minefield.  I totally understand you wanting him there, I would too.

    The Lister Clinic told me fresh eggs have a slight edge to frozen, but it's really not much, like maybe 5%. I wouldn't base my decision on this.

    Will it be less stressful for your DH in a month or two? Then maybe it's worth postponing if you both want to make it a special positive trip where the two of you can connect. Do you think he is capable of that, does he want that too? If not, I really think that's okay, this is such a painful frustrating topic, it makes some of us and especially the men just want to blank it out.
    To be entirely honest, I would forge through, but that's just me... I find none of this fun, I don't want to make it a holiday, it is so far from a natural conception it's a different beast, I want to be pregnant with a healthy baby...that's my goal, I want to get it over with, the rest is just background noise. I'm not sure how healthy this approach is either  :) but at the end of the day, we still are who we are, even in all this.
    I work in the hospital and see so much real tragedy daily. We are all still so so lucky for what we have. Time is short although there is also no real hurry either with DE. This is the guy you fell in love with and who clearly loves you, make it about the two of you, not the child. If one of you were fatally ill tomorrow, what would you wish you had done? Hug each other, love and communicate with each other, be kind and listen and reassure each other, be there for each other. You WILL have a baby, you will ... but the two of you need to come first, you are the team, that's the best family a baby can have. Start doing that now no matter what you decide, the rest will fall into place. How do the two of you want to write this little bit of history? There is no right or wrong... what can you find that you both agree on, if you really can't agree, there is absolutely nothing wrong in just getting it over with.
    Good luck Mac!

    Offline katkat2014

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    Low AMH/High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 8
    « Reply #33 on: 29/02/20, 15:16 »
    Saltysea what a very beautiful, encouraging, amazing post! This is really helpful to many of us and I hope Mac that it helped you a little too. A quick add on, if you can then try and freeze the embryos and not the eggs as chances are way higher with frozen embryos. Then you can go together for transfer when you're more 'synchronised'. I am unsure if your husband has frozen his sperm there in the past but if not then it may be far less stressful if he went alone and leave the sperm and then afterwards make the transfer extra special and a mini holiday together. I'm a bit like saltysea in that I felt far more relaxed to do to all on my own..what counted more for me was that my partner was there for.me during the 2ww, the bfns and bfp.

    Men are just wired in a different way, more focussed on practical things and not as emotional, or at least they tend to not show emotions as much. I am sure your husband cares very much. Being the provider is one of the things he probably feels he can control, whilst this entire IVF thing is kind of left to the women to sort out. In fact it's the pregnancy as well (I am currently the one nesting, buying and organising things. At first I was annoyed about it. But my partner actually contributes in a different way - he is really caring, does all the other practical stuff like cleaning and cooking, worries about me - and once a week he googles and reads out to me about the development of the baby out of his own accord ;D then occasionally he comes out with random pieces of knowledge about babies i am really surprised about so secretly he must be reading up.or talking to people about it. I just stopped bothering him as he clearly does the pregnancy thing in a totally different way to me). Mac you will find your way. I also think your husband is a keeper!

    Sunshine how are you? Due date 03 May, but due to my age and IVf they may induce me a week early if she stays in that long. Just 11 weeks to go! Gulp  ;D she's breech at the moment so we'll see how that goes.

    Offline Saltysea

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    « Reply #34 on: 1/03/20, 14:52 »
    Thank you Katkat  :), that's really sweet of you. Also of course you are absolutely right - thank you for the correction - fresh embryos only have a slight edge to frozen embryos. Frozen eggs are definitely significantly less successful than frozen/fresh embryos. I would insist that he deposits the sperm some time before or on the day of egg collection. If the sperm is frozen or fresh doesn't seem to matter that much either so if it's easier, it's okay to do it at a time that is less stressful and just have it frozen for use later. So much for little miss I'm-a-Health-Professional - mixing up eggs with embryos, haha. 

    Offline Mac78

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    Low AMH/High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 8
    « Reply #35 on: 8/03/20, 20:33 »
    Hi all,

    Just a quick note to say thank you to Saltysea and Katka. Last week was very emotional indeed and your messages really helped me to stay focus and find my balance again. In the end, DH came to the conclusion by himself that he should have planned better to make sure that he is by my side on the transfer day. He had to move things around with work and he's been working remotely, while we are Spain, and for the first time, we managed to go for a run together yesterday. We both feel more relaxed this week, I went for a run by myself this morning and spent the afternoon reading on the beach and only when a friend sent me a support message before dinner I realized that I hadn't thought about the treatment the whole day. Tomorrow is the appointment before transfer and I hope we can get all covered.
    Does anyone have any thoughts on prophylactic antibiotics to improve embryo transfer?
    I noticed that my cervical mucus is ever more intense lately, should we ask  Dr Castillo if he will remove the mucus prior to the transfer? I have read different opinions about it and I am not sure what to think of it.

    Hugs to everyone.
    x

     

    Offline Mac78

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    Low AMH/High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 8
    « Reply #36 on: 10/03/20, 15:54 »
    Hi all,

    The transfer went well and I can't faulty IB Alicante as Dr Castillo and his team were amazing. I felt relaxed the whole time and really felt like every single person cared about us. Now, it's the waiting game which I know is not going to be easy :(
    However, I am conscious that I have done all I could physically and mentally to prepare myself to receive this beautiful embryo; we got 7 AA embryos out of 7 eggs fertilized and Dr Castillo said this was one their best outcome, so now we have 6 frozen.
    I am not sure if this is because of the extra dose of progesterone but I am feeling hungry all the time since I left the clinic!
    Any recommendations for the two weeks wait?
     ^hugme^

    Offline Saltysea

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    Low AMH/High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 8
    « Reply #37 on: 10/03/20, 16:43 »
    I am so glad it all worked out so well for you, Mac! The numbers are so much in your favour now, your luck in this department is definitely going to take a turn for the better and it's fantastic you and your man could make it a positive experience! Wishing you loads and loads of luck and serenity :-) for the next few days!

    Offline katkat2014

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    Low AMH/High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 8
    « Reply #38 on: 10/03/20, 19:42 »
    Awww amazing news Mac, I am so pleased for you! That's a fantastic outcome, have rarely heard of such fantastic numbers/ stats. Hope you're a bit more relaxed now. What kind of tips were you thinking of? If you don't know how you absorb progesterone I'd probably test it 7 days after transfer just to make sure all good. Then again when you do your bhcg

    Offline Babyhopeful

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    Low AMH/High FSH Cycle Buddies - Part 8
    « Reply #39 on: 10/03/20, 23:18 »
    Mac78 - Iím really pleased that you sorted everything with DH and went ahead with the transfer. It sounds like things have worked out beautifully with 6 embryos in the freezer. Iíve taken selenium in my 2ww and tried to relax as much as possible, although this is easier said than done! Overall apart from taking the medication prescribed at the correct times I think we probably have little control over the outcome, so donít beat yourself up about things you should or shouldnít be doing. I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you xx