* Author Topic: Hi all, I知 single, broody and have just found out I have very low AMH & AFC  (Read 796 times)

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Offline Saltysea

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Broody, I think that's a very solid, sensible plan and open to most possible outcomes! Hopefully it will be cut nice and short by good news!
Mine was similar, 3 fresh cycles, transfer if the doctor recommended it, frozen transfers of any left-overs and then DE. We are in such a similar rubbish boat  ^hugme^ and will probably be cycling together at the Lister in March. By the way, I super admire and respect how your are doing this as a single lady and taking it all in your stride so soon (it took me a lot longer to digest)! Yay, woman power!

Definitely make sure the consultant gives you some time before the transfer when they know exactly what you are working with and be very clear about what your priorities are so they can suggest the best plan for it.

Couldn't agree with you more Kittykat and so happy it worked out for you! Enjoy every moment with the one good thing that surely comes out of this terrible situation, which is an appreciation for the things that really matter.

It's so nice to hear how open both you ladies would also be about DE, because I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me for not caring more. It was actually my husband that insisted on trying at least a few times with my own eggs, which I suppose is endearing  ;)


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    Offline kittykat76

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    Saltysea - I said really early on that I would be happy to move to DE, I was in the clinic after my 1st fet miscarriage and the lady I was speaking to pointed at all the photos on top of a unit and said each of those are DE babies and it made me realise just how many people go down that route and how amazing it is that we have that option. I don't think genetics are particularly important and once that baby is growing inside you then its your body influencing it. Several friends have DE babies and they are so happy that they have had the chance to become a Mummy- at the end of the day a take home baby is what we all want and how you get there isn't a big deal. 2 of the babies also look just like their Mummy!!
    You are right that it teaches you to not stress over small things- I lost 7 babies before I had him and compared to that so much in life just isn't worth worrying about

    Offline BroodySingle

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    Hi both,

    Happy lazy Sunday (hopefully!).  :)

    It痴 great to hear you池e both comfortable with DE. I feel like it could be a bit of a contentious subject dependant on people痴 views - I did see an anti-DE thread on here somewhere and it made me feel sad.

    I知 a bit down today though as I致e had a couple of people say if it is meant to be, it will be. And I just feel like, so if it doesn稚 happen then I知 not meant to be a mum?  :'( And that doesn稚 feel right  :(

    I know they mean to cheer me up and give me hope (as they池e wonderful people), but they also both have two beautiful children and so I知 just feeling a bit angsty and sorry for myself as I wait to start.

    Sorry for the moan!

    On the positive side of things, my donor sperm should be arriving on Wednesday at the Lister and I should be due AF this week which means I can get my FSH levels checked ready to start on my next cycle (which could actually be the end of this month!)


    Offline Saltysea

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    Hey broody, definitely an overcast wintery lazy Sunday!

    Head's up, this is a preachy post - I warn you!

    I think it's great you decided to be open and tell people - on the positive side you are going to discover some amazing supportive friends (and you won't need to hide and make up stories to hide what you are going through) and some friends are going to be just uninformed. I try to see it like that. I would have been quite anti-IVF too a few years ago, although also feeling it's an individual choice...until it happens to you. People will say insensitive and silly things that will rile you up. I really tell myself that they are just uninformed. They don't mean to hurt you and they aren't bad friends or bad people, they just can't relate and are maybe less empathic than some other friends. I mean, that 'if it's meant to be, it will be' - really????, so... if their kid or partner ends up with cancer...will that be their attitude? If someone they love is in a car accident... ah well, then.... It's just a silly quote, the world doesn't work that way. You want something, you fight for it. You inform yourself, you collect together all your resources and you come up with the best possible plan and you go for it. That's my opinion, that's what I would teach my children. If their children get bullied at school, will they shrug and say 'ah, it's just meant to be'. You don't sit around and wait for the world to give you what you want, you go for it. That's clearly also what you believe (I mean, wow, you have already organised the sperm!) and you should be so proud of that. Hold your head up high and always remind yourself what advice you would give your daughter if she came to you in this situation. And, in a twisted way they are right, because you are a fighter, you will make this work and in the end it 'will be'.
    Also, when it comes to people that are anti-DE, I totally respect that and they don't have to do it. I'm just grateful, I don't feel that way because then I would be far more panicked about my current situation and the years of TTC to come. From all the reading I have done on these forums, I have not come across one person that regretted going the DE route and in fact, the thing most of them comment on, is that they wish they had moved on to DE earlier, saving themselves all the pain and costs of unsuccessful OE cycles. The ladies that are poor-responders and persist and persist with OE-IVF, sometimes succeed, and that is awesome for them but I feel it comes at a very high price for some with regard to their relationship, their career and their mental and physical health.

    Hope that was helpful and maybe even cheered you up and not too preachy or patronising  :-\ ...it's just the thoughts that I have put together during my own journey and keep reminding myself. Feel free to tell me to mind my own business in future  :)

    Offline Pognut

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    Just to add something that my amazing infertility counsellor said to me recently about DE - she has seen a lot of people give up on OE and move to DE, and she said that *not a single one of them* had ever said, after their children were born, that they regretted it. I'm struggling with moving on to a new donor having had my sister as our donor for my first few goes at DE, and found that really comforting.

    I don't have anything to add to Saltysea's excellent take-down of people who think "if it's meant to be, it will be" is an appropriate thing to say to someone with infertility, other than hell yes. It's up there with "just relax and it will happen" in my top 10 of "Comments I Am Proud Not To Have Responded To With Sarcasm/Rudeness/Violence"... Best of luck. All we can do is keep trying.

    Offline BroodySingle

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    Thanks Salty & Pognut, both of your replies brought a smile to my face and I知 feeling much happier today!

    The only thing bothering me now is waiting for my AF so I can have my FSH tested and then cycle next month. I have a feeling that my AF is going to end up with day 3 over the weekend so trying to work out if day 2 or 4 or 5 is next best for the reading. I値l phone the clinic tomorrow to find out.

    Hope you ladies are well.