Failed ivf, plan B?

[AmberJ]

Thanks kitykat76. We've spoken to Gest and Gynem. I've also seen reviews for Serum. I'm just so undecided - it feels like playing Russian roulette.

[FertilityFriends]

[Poppy41London]

Hi Amber, have you considered clinics in Spain? They may cost a bit more than some of the other countries in Europe, but they have consistently high standards and a lot of the clinics are cutting edge in terms of their technology and treatment.

I am having treatment at Clinic Vistahermosa in Alicante and I really can't fault it in terms of the treatment and the medical care and support. I have had two donor egg cycles and got pregnant both times, though unfortunately also miscarried twice. However I do have some frozen embryos left from my last cycle. I know they do offer double donor as well as donor egg. It's also very easy to get to from the UK which makes it less stressful. Just a thought anyway in case you haven't considered Spain.

Best of luck. 

[AmberJ]

Thanks Poppy41London!! I appreciate your recommendation. Unfortunately, after x3 rounds of private ivf in the UK budget is a factor so it looks like we'll head to CR.

[miamiamo]

I am sorry to know about failed IVF-s. Poland is affordable and effective option. My friends and me have been happy with Invicta clinics. Top notch treatment and excellent service. Good luck with your journey. x

[AmberJ]

Thank you miamiamo. I have been looking into them too. Still very undecided.

[Londonwriter]

As others have mentioned, succeeding on a first cycle in your mid-40s with an embryo that hasn't had testing for chromosomal abnormalities is unlikely. Even if your fertility is good and you're at a good clinic (this doesn't sound like one), you're looking at *minimum* three transfers to get pregnant.

I think you need to see a clinic who can give you an assessment of your likely egg reserve and might be willing to do PGS to check whether you are actually producing any chromosomal normal embryos.

Just as a counterpoint to the people urging DE or natural cycle IVF for everyone near/over 40, in the world of 'fertile' women, 40+ is *not* too old to have children, and people have repeatedly laughed at me when I said I went to IVF at 39 because I was 'too old' to try naturally. The problem is that, for many ladies who end up having fertility treatment for a first child at 40, their main problem is age related. This skews the discussion quite a bit. In the wider world, lots of women who have conceived naturally in the past have second and subsequent children in their 40s.

To give an example, aged 39, I got 12 eggs on a high-stim cycle of which 7 were mature, 7 reached blastocyst (5-day stage) and 6 were suitable for freezing. Out of those, unfortunately, only one was chromosomal normal - due to my age - but statistically I could have had anywhere between 0 and 3 normals. I'm probably similar to the 'average' 39-year-old woman, I was infertile in my early 30s and the cause appears to be a life-altering autoimmune/inflammatory disorder - my egg reserve/quality is probably affected by my disease and I did conceive (eventually) naturally at 36 with immune treatment.

It is potentially possible that you can conceive with own egg at 44, but you need to be realistic about your chances. It is possible you do have severely-compromised egg quality - and that's your major issue. To find that out, you need to be at a clinic who do relevant investigations, don't waste your time and money on cycles with a limited chance of success, do regular monitoring of issues like lining thickness, and are realistic and unbiased about your *individual* chances (not just population-wide stats).

[AmberJ]

Thank you Londonwriter, I wish these clinics would be more honest, rather than just take our money. I attended an open day with them. The talk was very convincing and we were told that the reason why traditional ivf fails is because it is so brutal with the high doses and that eggs get damaged. At no point did they say that most of our eggs would be abnormal. We were told that the defective ones would less likely grow as we were having gentle ivf, so the good ones would be the ones we'd probably get. How I wished I'd been on this site before spending all that money!!

Re. the age thing, I completely get it. I'm a midwife and see lots of women in their 40s having babies, but yes, most of them are having 2nd and 3rd children, not their first.

We have now decided on donor egg, I couldn't go through all this again and waste more time and money. I've had 4 egg collections over the last 4 years with only one embryo to show for it. I didn't know at the time that I had hashimotos, hypothyroidism, extremely low vitamin D, abnormally low B12 and abnormally low DHEA. I did all this testing independently after asking for NHS GPs to test me over the last 12yrs. Of course, they refused and said there was no reason I couldn't get pregnant.

Our NHS and fertility clinics in the UK are depriving couples of having families of their own at a time when they potentially could have them - if their problems were diagnosed and treated beforehand.