2 failed donor egg cycles...anyone else?...desperate for advise!!

[jennyH1]

Hi everyone,

Getting a bit desperate for advise.
After many IVF fails with own eggs myself and my husband made the emotional move to donor eggs. I am so happy with that decision and like all of us trying.. thought donor eggs would be the magic answer to all our dreams.
Unfortunately we've had 2 donor cycles. First resulted in miscarriage after around 6 weeks. The second was just negative. Two high grade embies transferred on both occasions.None from either cycle left to freeze.
Our consultant now says it us just "bad luck"

Eventhough we are happy enough with the clinic I wonder if we should change clinics.

Anyone in the same or similar boat???

Would so appreciate any input at all and thanks so much for reading x

[FertilityFriends]

[StrawberrySundae]

Was lucky on 4th go (did 2x DE & 2x DD after several OE cycles & miscarriages). My 3rd was a chemical.

Good luck x

[jennyH1]

Thanks strawberry for your reply and huge congrats on 4th delighted it finally worked for you!!!

The whole thing is awfully draining but I think that hardest parts are making decisions on what are the right choices to make after a few fails.
Hard not to second guess yourself...should I have changed clinic etc..
I find this part even harder than the 2ww.

Thanks a mil for your reply x

[miamiamo]

I am sorry your treatments have failed so far. I can't help with personal experiences but I came across webinars on failed IVF-s run by one of the best doctors on eggdonationfriends. I would recommend watching recordings where experts also answered participants' questions, and hope you will find answers on your questions. xx

[jennyH1]

Thanks so much Miamiamo I really appreciate the advice,

I've actually watched those webinars and they're great.
Only prob is I've had all the investigations
 Hysteroscopy- NAD
 Raised NK cells- treated with low dose steroids and sub-cut clexane
 Husband's had FISH test on sperm and all is very good there.
 Thrombophilia- NAD but treated with clexane anyway
 TSH- within fertility range
 Intralipids before and after cycle

You name it..it's all covered and that's why consultant is saying "just bad luck" yet we were given a 75% chance of success on 2nd cycle.

Sorry for the rant Miamiamo....just you'd be heartbroken and wonder what to do next!!!

Thanks so much for your reply though x

[AmberJ]

Hi JennyH1,

I'm sorry for your struggles. I can't advise, but I do sympathise. We've just ended x3 rounds of OE ivf with only 1 viable embryo which was frozen and came out of the freezer with 50% cell loss. We were told that we had a good chance of pregnancy at the start of all of this. 
We're now looking into DE and it terrifies me that we'll suffer in the same way again.

I guess there's just so much of the unknown re ivf that as much advice that someone can give you, it just might not be right/relevant for you. I know finances are certainly a restricting factor for most people going through ivf, but if they're not for you, Instituto Bernabeu in Alicante offer a pregnancy and childbirth guarantee. They do charge astronomical rates - 18,000 euros, but they give you your money back if you don't have a live birth. I'd certainly go this route if I could afford them as I'd feel much more reassured that it was going to happen.

[Everythingcrossed42]

Hi we are in same situation 1st round of donor egg cycle got pregnant but at 7 week scan heartbeat was faint but was not at expected measurements after three weeks of scans the heartbeat eventually stopped, we had medically managed procedure which didn’t work and I ended up being rushed in for emergency d and c and blood transfusion. 2nd cycle we ended up with nothing to transfer or freeze, we have just been through 3rd round we got two good blastocysts, we transferred one and froze one. We got positive test but week later and a few more tests back to negative. One embryo left in the freezer and we are praying this will finally be our time.
We’ve had all the tests, I’ve had a hysteroscopy and surgery to remove a partial septum. I knew using a donor egg wasn’t going to guarantee success but I didn’t think it would be soo hard.
We just keep trying to be positive and hoping next time will be the one. My big concern is what if it isn’t when do you call it a day?
Sorry I know you were looking for positive stories and I think there are lots out there but equally nice to know we are not alone.
Wishing you every success for your next round. 

[miamiamo]

jennyH1 - I am sorry you are going through this, this forum is for ladies who need support and help on their journey. Agree, eggdonationfriends webinars are made very professionally, and I appreciate that webinars are run by top doctors from European clinics. Have you considered getting the second medical opinion in another IVF clinic? I am sending positive energy xx

[jennyH1]

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for your replies. Sorry only getting a chance to get back to you now.

AmberJ - Thanks so much for your reply. I'm so sorry to hear your story and that things have not yet worked out for you. It is really hard when you make the decision to change to donor but just so you know when I did get pregnant on the first DE transfer, that pregnancy was the happiest time of my life and I never ever thought for one single second about the donor aspect..honestly!! That baby was 100% mine. Sadly it ended after 6 wks but just to let you know the change to DE becomes so much more natural than you'd think.
Thanks for the tip on guarantee programme in IB. When we first started with donor's our clinic had a similar guarantee but our consultant didn't think we would need it. In hindsight I'm sorry we didn't go ahead with it as we've spent almost as much as that programme had cost on the last 2 cycles.
It's hard to know what's best as many couples are lucky and have success on the first round. Please don't let my story make you feel apprehensive. I really hope you are one of the lucky ones!!! Keep me posted if you can x

Everythingcrossed42 - Sorry to hear of your heartbreak. It's so hard especially when you do get pregnant even just for a short time. Hope your doing ok!! I feel your pain and confusion as to when you should stop and perhaps call it a day. I've wondered that too!! What I can say is that our consultant feels their is really no reason why donor egg IVF would not be successful eventually if you are emotionally and financially able to keep trying. He is very much on the lines of it just being a numbers game. I just worry that perhaps they are missing something and maybe changing clinics would shed a new perspective on things. I'm probably just clutching at straws. My friend was in a similar situation to us..3 fails. She had an ERA test and has now a healthy 1yr old. My consultant does not feel this would benefit but I can't help but wonder. Have you ever had this done?? By the way I really appreciated your reply. I'm not really looking for success stories just to chat to others who have maybe not get there yet. I thinking sharing information and stories makes you feel less alone and actually can sometimes highlight procedures or treatments you may not have considered so thanks x

Miamiamo - Thanks for replying again. Yes we are considering changing clinics but this means almost starting from scratch again and we would kind of hope that we would only make such a decision for a definite reason. Ie- I maybe have spoken to someone in a similar situation. That's why I posted here. Speaking with others in similar boats gives some clarity. Thanks miamiamo x

[nicky_nacky_noo]

Hi JennyH1

I’ve had several de cycles at 2 different clinics, with 3 different donors. Finally successful 2 years ago. Now  going back to the clinic I wasn’t successful with for a try with a 4th donor!    It’s a long story but happy to share if you want to pm. NNN