* Author Topic: Alot Of News to Take on Today - Bit Annoyed/Upset  (Read 919 times)

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Amandacatherine

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Just thought I would vent my thoughts here as I know you have all gone through this. Today I found out that my cousin who is 33 is pregnant, she had no issues getting pregnant and although delighted for her I cant help feeling a bit sad that this will never happen for me. To add to this a childhood friend who is 45 has announced she is 4 months pregnant, her friend same age is pregnant as well. Now she has been trying for ages so I am guessing Donor Egg but because she is saying nothing people just assume ivf like it is a miracle, and then kind of look at me like why couldn't I get it to work after 13 goes, it is really annoying. This whole DE thing skews peoples opinions of what is possible and makes this whole situation harder. I understand why people don't tell I wouldn't either, wish we all could  but who wants that judgement.

At the same time this has all come at a very bad time where I am job hunting and finding it hard to get anything, so being unemployed and all this the confidence takes a knock, on top of that I have had shingles for the last 2 weeks, so not being a great time. Plus I only stayed in my last job and didn't move on because I was doing IVF, so at the end of it no job and no baby :-[

Sorry for the vent but felt I know Io could put it here as everybody here has gone through this.



 

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    Offline nevertoolate

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    Alot Of News to Take on Today - Bit Annoyed/Upset
    « Reply #1 on: 24/02/20, 18:31 »
    Hi

    I am sorry for your frustration which is understandable and I wish you well with the job hunting.

    Some people do not wish to discuss they the have had DE treatment and ok that is their choice to respect, however it is possible to get pregnant naturally at that age also. I know someone who was pregnant at that age naturally and a friend whose parents were (mum 48 and dad 56) when they had her so even though it is rare it is possible so they might not have gone down the DE route at all.

    We are now getting to the stage that DE is assumed for older women which is not always the case.

    Offline AmberJ

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    Alot Of News to Take on Today - Bit Annoyed/Upset
    « Reply #2 on: 24/02/20, 20:14 »
    What a rubbish day for you! I'm so sorry you're having a difficult time. I totally sympathise. I'm in a similar position to you myself. There's nothing I can say other than try to look after yourself as much as you can xx

    Offline StrawberrySundae

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    « Reply #3 on: 24/02/20, 21:19 »
    Sending you lots of  ^hugme^  ^hugme^  ^hugme^

    Offline snowdropwood

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    « Reply #4 on: 24/02/20, 22:01 »
    So sorry  - you are very brave , honest and strong  - no it is not fair - hope you have kind famaily and friends around you to support and care x

    Amandacatherine

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    Alot Of News to Take on Today - Bit Annoyed/Upset
    « Reply #5 on: 24/02/20, 22:43 »
    Thanks everyone for the messages, makes me feel better knowing that there is a lot of us going through this. I have great family and friends but they think I should have moved on from all this, as the ones with kids think it isn’t all that and they have learnt you should be grateful for what you have& if I really want it I should consider myself lucky that I have the means to try other routes like DE or adoption, while other people don’t even have those options which is true.

    TBH it is hard today given my decisions in life have lead me to this point no baby and no job but I don’t regret trying because at least I can look back with no regrets and know that I tried my hardest, I can get another job but I wouldn’t have got another chance at that. I hate complaining really as I know we have so much to be grateful for but just sometimes it is hard not to say in life “I want” instead of “I would strongly prefer” and accept sometimes you can’t have what you want.

    Again thanks.

    Offline nevertoolate

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    Alot Of News to Take on Today - Bit Annoyed/Upset
    « Reply #6 on: 25/02/20, 15:46 »
    Hi,

    How you are feeling is totally understandable - sending hugs to you xx

    Offline snowdropwood

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    « Reply #7 on: 25/02/20, 19:41 »
    Hi CathA  - Yes I agree and respect what you have said enormously  - i am sure it resonates with many .  Yes family recently said to me because treatment was my choice they felt I did not need support / help or to be listened to  ! This was really hard to hear and I challenged it as I don't agree. It is far more complex than that.  I agree about knowing that you have tried the hardest you could have and there fore not having regrets and treatment choices are very individual. People who have had children easily often do not seem to have insights into the struggles and stress and saddnes ( just my experience ) .   Yes 'I strongly prefer' ...indeed very true .  I think you are very strong and wise indeed  - sending hugs too....

    Offline AmberJ

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    « Reply #8 on: 25/02/20, 22:56 »
    Gah!! CathA and snowdropwood - I'm sorry but I'm annoyed with your families on your behalf. You deserve a child no less than anyone else. In fact it is a recognised HUMAN RIGHT to have a family.

    I'm so tired that other people cannot empathise with our situations.  Disenfranchised grief is just awful and so unfair. I hope one day that people will be more enlightened about the pain of infertility.

    In the meantime, big hugs through the ether to you both!

    Offline miamiamo

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    Alot Of News to Take on Today - Bit Annoyed/Upset
    « Reply #9 on: 1/03/20, 13:41 »
    I am sorry to know your situation, but remember that "After every storm, there is a rainbow." (Shannon L. Alder) Stay positive and do not allow your negative emotions stop you from moving towards your dreams. xx