Crossroads > Moving On

EXTREME COVID-19 MOAN from Childless POV


**please don't have a go at me, I have come here to find the only safe plavce I know where I can completely off load about the realities of being childless in this society, I understand that lots of FFers have gone on to have families and i AM pleased for them and anyone who doesn't have to go through what we went through**

I haven't been on FF for years and I am certain no one will reply to this, no one will even remember who I am! But I needed a really safe space to come and have a proper moan from the POV of a childless person, in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic while we are all on lockdown.

I posted a thing on social media (such a hell hole site, not sure why I am on it) and it brought home to me the nature of childlessness in society, something that is always there except the privileged people with children don't notice it. That is that childless people are on the fringes of society, where laws are made, where public spaces are created, they are not created for us, they are created for people with families, the whole world is designed for people with children. Usually i'm sort of OK with that, it's my lot in life and I have changed my entire life to accommodate the fact that I won't be part of that society now. I work for myself, I work from home so that I don't have to be in the child rich areas of life, I get the world to myself because everyone is at work while i am working at home. I actually gave up my job as a microbiologist partly because of PTSD from having my daughter die of (in part) clinical negligence caused by the hospital I worked for...but that's a whole other story. Anyway, this is what I posted on social media and it's a bit tongue in cheek and supposed to be funny more than anything else:

Shout out to the people who already work from home and are now dealing with the entire world taking the opportunity to decorate, declutter, have BBQs, catch up on the DIY jobs and have singalongs while you are trying to just do your work. I didn't even mention children! There was a lot of home workers who laughed along but a coupe of people, who are friends, really jumped on me about how worried they are about their children's health and how yes, they would allow their children to run wild if it meant they were dealing with the stresses of confinement....etc and the general tone was that I was being selfish for wanting to continue my life as normally as i can and not PUTTING THE CHILDREN FIRST because we live in the cult of motherhood where children and families are the most important things and everyone else can go F themselves can't they.I was told that maybe I should wear headphones and stay in my office until it was all over. because clearly my own mental health and my need for a space to 'be' is just not as important.  It's like with the stress of the pandemic everyone is very sensitive, but any pretence that we were given, the crumbs that were given to us as childless people, the pats on the heads 'poor you' has even gone now and WON't SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!! *clutches pearls* I know this sounds like sour grapes, it's not, or maybe it is, we're all so conditioned to not ever complain about being childless in case we make people uncomfortable that i can't even tell whether what i am complaining about is unreasonable.
Anyway. That was my big moan. Thank you FF for providing a space where I could do this xx Wendy PS I am living very very happily child free, I don't think people quite understand that, but they also don't understand that it's really hard still sometimes. Anyway...rant over.

Oh Wendy, people are Bleepers and Iím sorry that some claim to be friends of yours, yet can behave like that. I donít have any words other than those people are wrong and you are right.

Hope youíre getting on ok (and have had a declutter of the idiots!)



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